I never should have Fallen!
by Chrys Stone
Summary: Lucy needs to pick up the pieces after she and her partner "part ways". She'll take a job here and there, half aware of some very attractive tigers lurking in the back ground.
1. Gone

**::Edited 10/20/2014:: **

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><p><em><strong><em><strong>In the beginning she wished an impossible wish. She dreamed an impossible dream. She loved an impossible man.<br>**_**_

_**For a moment she was happy, she had everything she could have ever asked for. She had more than she ever thought she deserved.  
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_**If only that had been the end of her story… but there is no room for a Happily Ever After in her world.  
><strong>_

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><p><em>"Lu-chan I know this is hard for you, but don't you see that you're being ridiculous!" I could hear her words, but not even Levy's common sense could get through to me at this point.<em>

_"You don't know anything!" I couldn't keep the low growl of anger from my voice. Hot tears burned behind my eyes, but I refused to cry one more tear over that selfish bastard. I held onto the piece of paper in my hand, his words flowing through my head as if he was sitting right there next to me. Levy could never understand why I was this upset, I might never tell her._

_What did it matter now, he was long gone, far out of reach._

_"Fine, when you're ready to come back to your senses, come find me." She sniffed, and I knew that I had really hurt her feelings. Somewhere deep down I wanted to reach over to her and apologize, but my anger was stronger, so I just stared at her for a long moment._

_Levy gathered her things with a soft huff, giving up the fight, before moving swiftly to a table closer to the bar._

_To anyone else, Levy seemed to be yelling at the book in front of her, but I knew where to look to see the other participant in the conversation she had started. Two feet away at the bar, Gajeel was giving her a verbal lashing for fighting a losing battle; he acted angry, but I could see the concern that softened his gaze. I could just catch a few phrases as his voice lifted in his frustration. "She needs time, shrimp."_

_I knew it was wrong, but I hated them, I hated everyone in that moment. _

_Mira was watching me, I knew that she was aware I hadn't told the whole story, it was only a matter of time before the others caught on too. _

_I hated everything about this place, every whisper, every glance. _

_I wanted the memories to leave me be._

_It was ridiculous, but my broken heart wasn't exactly rational._

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><p>I took a deep breath, focusing on the reason I had even come to the guild that morning.<p>

Grinding my teeth, I read over the mission one more time, absolutely certain that it was the right course of action to move forward with my life.

I was ready to have Mira note the job in the log, hoping inside that no one would try to talk to me today. I just wanted to get to get some normalcy back in my life, and taking a job was my first step.

"Lucy!" Cana was laughing and sloshing her beer around as she wrapped her free arm around me. She swiftly plucked the paper from my hand and gave it the once over. "Oh, this sounds like fun, can I come too?" I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't really asking for permission. Her soft curled chestnut hair covered her face from view as she leaned in closer and whispered so only I could hear her this time. "Don't rush into going solo, I'll help you get over this some other way."

I wanted to be angry at her for butting into my personal life, again, but I decided that allowing Cana to try her hand at fixing me would get the rest of my friends off my back. Maybe I'd allow myself to indulge in Cana's favorite past time, it had been a while since she and I had enjoyed a friendly game and the alcohol would dull the stinging in my chest.

"Fine, you can come. Just try not to break anything, I kind of need the money for rent." I hissed back in a low tone, before heading to the bar. She gave me a tipsy salute and muttered something I didn't catch.

I shook my head, knowing there was no point to asking what she was on about.

I was still actively fighting the feeling that I needed to flee, fearing that someone else might figure me out.

Mira spotted me as she exited the kitchen, and I waved at her. Her arms were full of trays, but she motioned for me to have a seat to wait till she came back, a warm smile spreading across her features as she turned to walk away. Figures that she would be busy when I wanted to get as far away from this place as possible. I put the flyer on the bar top and leaned back with my elbows and back against the counter.

Our team was split up at the moment, everyone doing their own thing. Erza was off on guild business, for Master Makarov, and wouldn't be back for a while still. Normally the old man would have gone himself, but recently his health had been keeping him close to home. I wished that she had been here while this whole mess was happening, surely she could have fixed things, or at least she could have made me feel better about the situation. Erza would no doubt have something to say about all of this, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear. She was always good at breaking through my defenses, helping me to see reason when I could only see despair.

I missed her terribly, and I wished she'd come home soon.

I let my eyes wander around, taking note that Juvia was clutching Gray's clothing to her chest, as he began to discard his boots and pants. She was chatting, a brilliant blush on her pale cheeks. When Gray made an acknowledging nod to what she was saying, Juvia grew bolder, scooting closer to the ice mage. She must have told him that he was stripping again because he jumped up taking his clothes from her waiting hands and stalked off to mope. Juvia chased after him, her hands clutching the hem of her dress as she squeaked something unintelligible.

_That will never change._

I sighed internally, wondering when he would stop leading the poor girl on. Juvia deserved a proper yes, or a stern no, letting her trail along like a lost puppy was just cruel. My thoughts turned dark, a bitter taste in my mouth rising as **his** words bubbled up in my mind.

_No, I don't want to think about that right now. I'm going to put it all out of my mind._

I actively fought back the gloom that surrounded me like a black cloud, searching the guild for something else to capture my attention, that when I spotted a rowdy group off by the stage.

Elfman and the older mages of the guild were in the middle of an arm wrestling tournament, the prize being a date with one of Elfman's sisters. Romeo and Wendy were holding up a large banner behind the bulky man, cheering as he slammed yet another opponent's hand into the table. I could hear him proclaiming that only a man strong enough to beat him had a chance with his sisters, because of course he was the manliest man in the creation of the world.

It was, of course, a one sided affair; Elfman would rather die than hand Mira or Lisanna over to anyone. It was annoying, but sweet in a way. If I had a brother, I wished he would be just as protective as Mira's little brother was.

It was sick how long the line to whip Elfman was though, a majority of the male population was ready to try their hand.

_Pervy old men. _I shook my head with a sigh.

The rest of the main floor was the same as always, pockets of female mages talking about the latest gossip, some with their noses in books, researching their next job.

The pin up addition of Sorcerer Weekly was spread out on a table not to far from Elfman's group, probably to entertain those who were waiting for their turns. I pinked up silently, knowing that I was one of the mages that had participated in that particular issue. I had meant to pick up a copy, but my mind had been on other things lately.

Lazily I looked towards the second floor, not expecting to see anything particularly interesting.

It was one of those rare occasions where Laxus had decided to hang around for more than a few days it seemed. He and his band of fans known as the thunder legion were lazing about, keeping the majority of the second floor unoccupied. I watched carefully, until a brilliant flash of light caught my attention.

My interest had been peaked, and I could feel a chuckle raise up my throat in amusment.

I still didn't know Laxus very well, but his mood towards the guild seemed to have changed drastically since the Grand Magic Games. He was high spirited, almost happy as he teased Mira's little sister Lisanna. She had her cheeks puffed out like a small child, hands on her hips but the blush on her cheeks gave away that she was more embarrassed than angry. She batted his hand away when he tried to get her to take a breath, but that just made him laugh harder. Silently I wondered what he had done to get such a reaction from the normally calm girl.

It certainly wasn't malicious, because Freed was cheering Laxus on, as Evergreen and Bixlow just laughed at the exchange. Were they flirting? It would be something normal people did, but wasn't he a little old for the youngest Strauss sibling?

I shook my head at the thought, since it was none of my business to begin with. The guild was calm, practically serene with out the pink haired ball of energy causing fights left and right.

_Everyone's fine, except for me._

I found that I couldn't watch them anymore, so I turned to take the seat at the bar, as Mira had silently ordered me to do. My hands came to rest against the hard cold surface, and I let my mind travel.

_How long has it been? _

My guild mark stared up at me brightly, reminding me of the day I had finally come home. If you counted the seven years that had been stolen from us, it had been nine since the day. How had so much time escaped me?

So much had happened, we **all** had been through so much. I was finally happy, going on jobs with my crazy teammates, and enjoying the feeling of belonging to a family again. I had something special here, and I knew that these people would support me in what ever I did.

I had no reason to feel sorry for myself, no, I had no right to feel sorry for myself.

"What did you need Lucy dear?" Mira settled her small hand on mine, to get my attention.

I looked up into her softly smiling face, and I snapped.

"Did you know he was leaving?" I couldn't stop the hurt that seeped into my voice, I could feel my eyes gloss with tears. I fought them back, knowing that if I began to cry again, I would start to feel the emptiness that his departure left in its wake. I had no idea how lonely it would be without him in my life, how clean my apartment would be, or how full my fridge was.

These were things that I had wanted, but now they made me feel empty.

He was his own person, he didn't belong to me in anyway shape or form. Natsu didn't owe me anything, not even an explanation.

A stray tear slipped down my cheek; I swiped at it furiously. I was sick of battling between being angry and sad, I needed to do something away from this place. I was haunted by the good memories we all shared together, drowning slowly in the sorrow of knowing those days were all over.

"I wasn't sure for a while, but I suspected as much when Happy dropped off that letter." Mira answered softly. "It must have been harder for him to go this time, normally he just takes off." There was a shadow that crossed her soft eyes, one that I had never seen before. I nodded, understanding what she meant, and knowing that she was already putting the pieces together.

"He always comes back." Cana added as she slid into the bar stool next to me, her travel bag slung over one shoulder. "After all there are only so many places a Dragon can hide."

I let a smile come over my face, of course he would come back, Fairy Tail was our home, our family. No matter what happened between the two of us, this would always be where he belonged.

"So was that all you needed?" Mira asked as she took in the piece of paper that I had left on the counter.

"Cana and I are taking this job, I need to get back to work." I sniffled a bit and handed her the paper. I watched her read over the details a give me a quick look, so quick I almost missed it.

"Be careful, I want you to come home in one piece you know." She handed the flyer back, and marked us in the large book that recorded all the guild's missions. "I'll contact the employer to let him know who he's expecting."

I muttered a thank you, and Mira gave my hand a quick squeeze.

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><p><strong>I've decided to keep going, but some things needed to be adjusted to do so. Thanks for the support guys!<br>**

**::BTW Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, I in no way take credit for any of his amazing work::**


	2. Hosenka

**Chapter one needed editing for this story to progress the way I want it to, so if you've already read it go back, it's new. On a side note, I'm not telling you all what the pairings will be, I want an edge so :P.  
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**Thanks for reading!**

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><p>Cana sat opposite me, cheerfully reading her cards while sipping from her hidden canteen. I noted the smile on her lips as she mumbled to herself about different fortunes; she had been doing this since we left Magnolia, seemingly pleased with the outcomes. I tried my best not to look like I was eavesdropping, my eyes focused on the scenery whipping by the windows of the train.<p>

I was trying not to think at all, knowing that it would only lead to more brooding. I had hoped to catch a nap, since I couldn't seem to concentrate on the book in my lap. I had read the same page twelve times or so, but the words still didn't make sense. My eyes were finally starting to feel heavy when Cana coughed, drawing my attention to her side of of our little compartment.

"Lucy, can I ask you something personal?" I could feel my brow furrow at the brunette, when had she ever asked permission for intruding on my personal life?

Never.

"What do you want to know?" A mischievous smile made me wish I had blown her off, but I suspected she would ask her question with permission or without. It was probably better to cooperate.

"How long did you know he was gone?" I couldn't hide the expression of shock on my face; my wide eyes gave away my secret with ease. I was determined to talk my way out of it though.

"Why do you think I knew anything?" I retorted, disbelief making my voice sound weak. She simply pointed to her cards giving me the 'you should know that by now' glare. I sighed, of course Cana would put the whole thing together. She would understand why my reaction was so extreme, she would have figured everything out on her own anyway. "The day before everyone else found out." I didn't really want to think about it, but Cana had that look, like she was waiting for an explanation.

"Why did he leave a letter than? He's never done something like that before."

I sighed and spiraled into the story of what happened the day my best friend left me behind.

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><p><em>I leaned back in the chair of my writing desk, a yawn spilling out of my mouth, and I put my pen down. Normally I would still be in bed at this hour of the morning, but a nightmare had shaken me awake. It sent shivers through me, and I found that my body refused to return to sleep in fear that I might return to that place. <em>

_I took it as an opportunity to put some interesting material into the novel I had been working on, after all what was a heroine without a little tragedy and conflict? The best characters were steeped in misery, and this seemed like the perfect development to my main character's back story. _

_I lazily looked out the window, to see the light of early morning sparkling off the canal in front of my apartment. The sight always took my breath away, and I was almost so mesmerized that I missed the man standing just below, almost. _

_My heart jumped into my throat, he was finally here. Maybe things would be alright. _

_His messy hair looked as though he had tossed and turned all night in his sleep. I tilted my head, trying to get a better view, and realized that he was talking to Happy in a very somber tone. The blue cat seemed angry, his words punctuated with violent hand motions. _

_Confusion was the first feeling that captured my heart that morning as I watched them battle it out. I strained my ears, trying to catch the conversation between them. Natsu was losing his temper, causing his volume to rise. _

"_I've made up my mind Happy, she can't come with us." His face was obscured by his bangs, the long morning shadows aiding in hiding his expression from me. _

"_It's not fair Natsu and you know it!" I could hear the tears in his voice, and I felt my own beginning to gather behind my eyes. My heart stopped for a moment, and I felt as though I couldn't breath.  
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_The sight before me made no sense, where was he going, and why wouldn't he take me with him? He was my partner, and we had just begun to become something a little more. Or that's what I had thought. Natsu and I had shared something deep and special over the past year, not that it was something public or over the top, but to me it was the world. _

_I couldn't imagine a day without stolen glances and passing touches. He was just starting to accept my feelings, he couldn't leave. _

"_I can't tell her, I just can't." Natsu handed over a stark white envelope, his face still hidden in the shadows. My mind was reeling, but my body was sluggish from exhaustion. "It has to be this way, and you know it."_

_Those words made adrenaline pump through my veins. I was up and out the door, not caring that I was clad only in a night shirt, or that I had left my keys on my bedside table. Every breath felt labored as I took the stairs two at a time, my bare feet protesting as I skidded to a halt at the front door. I threw it open, the brisk morning wind hitting me in the face like a slap. _

_He was gone, they both were. _

Cana watched my with sympathetic eyes, the kind that I didn't want people using on me. I hadn't told anyone about how my relationship with Natsu had changed. I hadn't told anyone how embarrassing it was to bare my heart to him. No one had to know that I had cried the rest of that day, receiving the letter from Mira the following day.

"What was in that letter?" I could feel the blush creep up my neck; Cana really had no tact, none at all.

I sighed, pulling the delicately folded paper out of my knapsack. I slowly and carefully opened it up, my finger sliding along the untidy script with what I was sure he would call a creepy smile. It was my treasure, no matter what the words on it said.

"Excuses and apologies." My voice, it sounded so hallow, even to my own ears.

"Wow, I didn't think Natsu knew how to write." Cana mumbled, snatching it out of my hands. I cried out in protest, but she was already half way through. I could read the expressions as they crossed her face, all too well. First disbelief, than anger, and finally sadness; she felt sorry for me.

"I guess I can't hide it anymore. Natsu, we… well I don't really know what it was anymore. I guess I read to much into all of it." Cana handed the paper back with a sneer.

"So when you said he was off to search for Igneel..." She crossed her arms over her chest, expelling a breath to calm her anger.

"I wasn't lying, look at the back." I reached over to flip the paper around, it was scribbled there as an afterthought, along with his apology for not taking me along. He said it would be too complicated, and he just wanted to focus on his task. That he hoped I understood, even though he was pretty sure I wouldn't.

"I never knew he could be such a jerk."

"Please, keep this between us, I haven't even told Levy about it. Not any of it actually." Desperation, it tasted bitter against my tongue, but I wasn't ready for the rest of our little family to know.

"This will be perfect, you must have a sixth sense or something." I was puzzled by the smile that broke out across her face. I gave her a look encouraging her to continue. "Hosenka, it is the best place to nurse a broken heart."

For the first time since Natsu had disappeared, I felt the weight lift off my shoulders. Cana was right, I needed to take care of myself, and stop pining for someone who didn't want me in that way.

"A soak in the hot springs couldn't hurt, I suppose." I shrugged my shoulders, feeling what was left of my anger evaporate. Cana's smile was infectious, and I couldn't fight back my own for long.

A few minutes later the PA system cut through our laughter, announcing our arrival at Hosenka station. We gathered our things, trying not to get in the way of other passengers. The train was more crowded that I had expected, oh well, it didn't really affect me.

After we exited the train, the gossip began to flood from both of us. Cana filled me in on the readings she had been doing on our journey here, and what she expected to come home to when we returned to the guild.

I was feeling like myself again as we came a stop at the gates of our clients mansion, just a mile out of town.

Cana let a slow whistle leave her lips as she appraised the sweeping drive and large traditional style home. I took in the sweet smells of the country, feeling somewhat nostalgic. It wasn't nearly as large or grand as the Heartfilia estate, but it was surely impressive.

We both broke out of our silent appraisal of our client's residence when a creaking that signaled the gates opening greeted us.


	3. Jobs and shadows

**Popularity is not my goal with this fic, I just want to explore something new and fun. Characters my be a little OOC but that's the fun of FF in the first place! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it! :: Fairy tail is property of Hiro Mashima, I only own the events of this particular story::  
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><p>I could feel the vein in my temple pulse at the scene before me. Cana was flirting with our employer, shamelessly I might add. A part of me couldn't blame her though; he was the real deal: looks, brains and money. Any socialite would find him the perfect catch; I felt a shudder of disgust shoot through me. The men of society had no use for a woman of low birth, not unless she came with money. My own father had tried to use me as currency in that crazy messed up world.<p>

I knew Cana was just looking to satisfy an urge, but it wasn't a good idea, not with this kind of man.

He turned his eyes on me causing my skin to crawl. His deep blue eyes held a trace of recognition, like we had met somewhere before. I couldn't place his face, no matter how hard I tried to wrack my memory for it. I would remember eyes like those, I'm sure.

"You said your name was Lucy, Lucy Heartfilia, right?" I hated the way my name sounded in his mouth, the insinuation of familiarity in his tone made me reluctant to even hear more about the mission. His eyes racked over my body, a smirk deepening the creases that age had carved around his mouth. He had to be at least a decade my senior, not my type at all.

"Just Lucy is fine." I smiled sweetly, secretly tugging at the lack of fabric my skirt offered me. I became painfully aware that my shirt offered little coverage as well, leaving my mid drift completely bare to the world.

Why couldn't I wear something more modest?

"I'd heard rumors about Jude's daughter joining Fairy Tail. Seems they were true, what a pity. You had such potential." Cana must have sensed my discomfort, because she lazily set back to work on getting his attention. She went as far as to perch herself on the edge of his desk, leaning forward so he only had a view of her cleavage.

"So the request says we are supposed to retrieve an item for you." Her voice came out in a low seductive hum, dragging his attention in with her sultry nature.

"Ahem, yes." He adjusted the papers on his desk, taking an envelope labeled 'Fairy Tail' from a stack. "All the details are in here. I expect you within three days or the reward will be reduced by half." If I hadn't developed my self-control over the years, my jaw would have been on the floor.

"Three days, that seems a little hurried don't you think?" He gave a smile in response explaining that he needed the item in time for a special event. Something didn't add up here. "Three days," I opened the pack, looking for the map inside. A quick glance told me it would take us two hours to walk to the location, a system of caves. _It shouldn't take more than a single day to complete this kind of task, so why is he so worried it would take longer._ "If we complete it in less time, you'll double our reward."

It was risky, I knew, but something about his urgency made me feel like he would agree to anything so long as he got what he desired. He stared for a long moment,as if measuring our abilities, and nodded his approval to my wager. Somewhere deep down a voice was screaming that he wasn't telling me something, but I silenced it once he had agreed.

"If you can manage to bring my item to me in the next seventy two hours I will award you with 500,000J. My condition will be that for every hour past that the reward decreases by 50,000J." I wanted to object to the condition, but I knew that we would never get a chance like this again.

"You have a deal." He and I shook on it, and he called the butler to show us out. A part of my mind screamed that something wasn't right about this mission, but the thought of 500,000J overpowered that little voice easily.

.

.

Cana and I stayed silent as we left the grounds; she was staring at me out of her peripherals the whole way, I could feel the heat of her gaze. I was nervous as to what she might say, the whole atmosphere was just plain awkward. So I played it off like I hadn't noticed her watching me.

Once the gate clicked shut behind us she let out a low whistle.

"I never took you for a gambler. That was a dangerous bet if you ask me, I hope you know what you're doing." She took the envelope from me and proceeded to inspect its contents, shuffling through papers till she found what she was looking for.

"I blame it on my team, mainly Erza." I bit back a laugh, the red haired demon would be proud of me. "You'd never believe it, but she loves the casino more than anyone I've ever met."

She grunted a response, as she continued to read through the packet. She shifted papers, raising a brow a few times, maybe this would be more difficult than I thought.

"Damn it, we should have brought Levy along." Cana hissed.

I raised a brow of my own and took the papers, and after a quick inspection I could feel the nervous sweat break out on the back of my neck.

"Of course there is a protection spell; he wouldn't be paying for something he could have gotten easily." I took a deep breath. "It's a good thing I've been studying disenchantment spells with Freed."

Cana began to laugh again, tears streaming from the effort.

"What? I never, ever want to get myself stuck in a rune barrier again. It seems like I had the right idea, and now I get to use my skills." A true smile spread across my face; I wasn't just a one trick pony anymore. I gave a quick thumbs up and a wink to drive the point home.

"Well then let's pick up the pace, 500,000J are on the line!" I nodded, tucking everything but the map back into the envelope.

That was more then enough to get me through this, I could pay my rent and go on a shopping spree. I was giddy just thinking about the new boots I could add to my collection, but in the back of my mind the little voice sputtered that something was off. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, forcing me to make a quick survey of our surrounding. I couldn't see anything suspicious so I shrugged it off.

.

.

.

We walked for nearly an hour through the thick brush of the forest floor; this was always my least favorite part of a job. The sense that someone else was there kept the hairs at the back of my neck on high alert, I kept my eyes sharp as I listen to my partner excitedly talking about a time when Elfman had completely failed as a man. For the most part, it was an uneventful trip, almost boring. I had never been on a boring mission before, since Natsu and Gray would be fighting by this point. Erza would be to focused on finding our target to stop them, and most of the forest would be either burned or iced over.

Never in a million years did I think that one day I would miss their craziness. Being without them was harder than I had thought it would be; I wanted nothing more than for things to go back to the way they had been before, comfortable and crazy. I sighed, trying my best to push aside the feelings of longing that were making my heart feel heavy.

Cana must have noticed that my mind was traveling, maybe I had stopped acknowledging her, because she stopped dead in her tracks. The concern was clear in her big brown eyes, she must have known I was thinking of them. She was going to ask if I was alright, so I beat her to it, mumbling something about strange noises coming from the tree line. I wanted her to believe that my silence was due to listening, making sure we weren't followed by a group of mercenaries or something. My profound declaration got a laugh out of her, and we continued walking another ten minutes or so before we got within range of our final goal.

I could begin to see the faint shimmer of the magical barrier; I would have to break it before we could scope out the caves to find this item our client was so intent on owning. It was finally time to test out my new capabilities.

I took a deep breath, banishing every thought from my mind, focusing solely on the materials I had spent months training with. My bag hit the ground with a thud, and I set to work.

.

.

.

Seventeen hours, it took me seventeen hours to break the protection spell. I needed to take short breaks here and there of course, I had never attempted something so complex before. I never expected there to be such a complex set of rules to protect something so seemingly insignificant. I managed to crack it though, without help from anyone. Freed would surely be pleased when I told him about my accomplishments, that I was able to surpass my own misgivings.

My body was weak, my mind fatigued, but I was proud. I turned to Cana exclaiming that I was finished when my vision went black, pain shooting across my face as I fell to the ground.

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.

.

I woke slowly, my mind in a fog of discomfort and gnawing hunger. There was a deep cut across my cheek, I could tell from the feeling of caked blood that had gathered at my chin. My breath hitched, and I could tell my ribs had taken a serious hit. I would bet my reward money that there would be a deep purple bruise raising over my left side, and my right leg in less than a day from now. It felt as though I got in between a guild wide fight with these injuries.

Cana was no better; she was slightly limping as she carried me on her back. Blood was caked to her whole body, mixed with sweat and possibly tears. I couldn't tell what her exact injuries were, but her arm looked as though it wasn't strong enough to keep my weight up any more. I made a noise, alerting my friend to the fact that I was finally awake, and she handed me a water bottle, with a soft smile. We settled at the foot of a large tree, taking a break from the hike back to our client's home.

She updated me on the current situation, explaining how I had been injured, where she had found the item we had been sent to retrieve, and inform me that I had been sleeping for several hours. Apparently she felt guilty for my injuries, because she wouldn't look me in the eye when she told me about it.

"The protection spell, my guess is that breaking that damn thing released the monster, or summoned it. I didn't have time to react, it was on top of you before I could get my cards out."

I could see her injuries properly now; she had taken a claw to the face, leaving three distinct marks across her cheek, the same pattern was torn into her arm and the side of her stomach. It seemed she had gotten them protecting my defenseless body.

"All this for a stupid little trinket, hardly seems worth it right?" Cana mused patting her purse where a small gemstone lay hidden.

"Of course it was, now I can pay my rent!" I shuffled my bag, trying to keep the weight off my injured side as we got ready to head out again. "250,000J is enough to cover a few months with some leftover to go on a shopping spree." I needed to rest, since using a magic that wasn't my natural affinity was extra harsh on my body, but I wouldn't let Cana see me stumble. I needed to be brave, and tough it out. After all she had carried me half way back, so we would make the seventy two hour dead line.

"Is rent the only thing you care about?" Cana growled through her teeth, the pain in her arm must have been substantial, even if the cuts didn't appear to be that deep. She was stubborn for sure, carrying me while she was so injured.

"Yeah, pretty much." I was laughing with my partner on the outside, yet deep down I knew this was my doing. I wasn't ready to take on jobs like this by myself, that was painfully clear now. Natsu was always with me before this, he had always been able to pick up my slack. The loss just kept growing inside me, making the pit in my stomach expand.

I didn't want to think about him, not when remembering made me feel like the walls were closing in on me. I knew tears were just under the surface, waiting for a moment of weakness. I wouldn't allow that, not while on a mission.

Cana handed me a napkin that had a smashed up sandwich inside with a crooked smile. My stomach groaned at the sight of it, and I was quick to gobble the whole thing down. It was enough to quiet the pangs of hunger that washed over me, at least for a while.

I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings anymore, it didn't matter. I wanted to focus on something positive, to push all thoughts of that pink haired idiot out of my head. Hosenka, the last time I had been there was before the our fight on Tenrojima. I let that thought sink in for a moment, fascinated by how much had changed since then. I was so distracted by my reminiscing that I failed to notice Cana stop just in front of me. She hissed in frustration, shifting her bad arm away from me as we collided.

"Sorry." My cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Be more careful, you opened the wound on your cheek!" Cana shuffled through her bag until she found a substantial piece of cloth for the blood that was now dripping down the side of my neck.

"I'm a mess, aren't I?" The cloth burned as I put it to the gash, Cana must have splashed it with alcohol. She gave me a look, conveying that I didn't look half as bad as she did, before she starting cleaning the wound I reopened on her arm. It only took me a minute to mop up the mess, my shirt on the other hand, well, it was absolutely ruined. "Right let's get in there, no point in trying to look pretty."

We entered the manor, the butler hiding his shock behind a stoic expression. He announced us the same as he had the first time, and explained that the master of the house had other company and that we were to wait patiently.

"You have to be joking right?" I could hear his voice carry out into the hall.

"The job was to observe, you never asked us to interfere." A cool masculine voice replied.

"Dammit all, take your pay and leave!"

It was a moment later that we were summoned into the office.

To my amusement our client had a nervous look on his face, his eye wide at our disheveled appearances.

"What? Not happy to see us so soon?" Cana teased with a wink. "And here I thought you'd miss me." She sauntered across the large room, ignoring the guest who was seated in a wing-backed chair near the fire place.

"There is no way you completed the mission already." I could distinctly hear the sound of disbelief in his voice. "I've had my men working on it for MONTHS."

"You should never underestimate a mage's abilities, especially not the women of Fairy Tail." I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. Cana pulled the trinket from her pouch and held it out in front of the man, waiting for his inspection. "I won't lie though; if you had mentioned the protection spell on the flyer we would have brought a mage who could break it in a quarter of the time."

"Impressive as always." I turned my attention to the other presence in the room, unsure of his concern in the matter. "Looks like you took a lot of damage though, pity." His blazing eyes stared at me over his inter locked fists. Half his face nearly obscured by his billowy black hair, but I could clearly see the smirk he was giving me. A switch flipped in my brain as recognition dawned on me. Sabertooth's Rouge Chenney was sitting there, making fun of me, and I didn't like it.

"Who were you again, I can't seem to remember?" My words were laced with sarcasm.

"What a coincidence, I can't seem to remember your proper name either, **blondie**." We stared at each other for a long minute, neither willing to be the first to look away.

"Did you honestly call in another guild while we were still on the job?" Cana's playful attitude disappeared, her brow creasing as she pulled back the trinket.

"It doesn't matter, the mission is already over. A deals a deal, you have your prize, so we'll take the reward and leave you to your business." I moved towards Cana, intent on handing over the item we had worked so hard to acquire.

"R-right." He reached into his desk draw, and pulled out a sack. "250,000J as stated in the request." He placed the sack in my waiting hand. Cana gave him a look that would rival Erza, filled with murderous intent.

"Have you ever met a Celestial Spirit Mage before? Our words are verbal contracts, and you agreed to my wager." Anger seeped into my tone, and I knew I couldn't hold back for much longer. He watched my fingers twitch as I reached for my whip. "I don't want to forcefully take what you owe me, so pay up."

"F-fine I'll pay you the rest, please, I just want the jewel." I raised my brow at him once more, and he gulped. He reached back into his desk pulling out a second pouch and placing it next to the box. Cana grabbed the bag while I placed the trinket on the velvet cushion.

"Full disclosure works best when dealing with Fairy Tail. Please make sure you remember that if you want the help of our guild again." I nodded my head in a respectful bow before high tailing it out of there.

"You picked the wrong guild if you were trying to cheat them." I heard the young man in the chair chuckle as he got up to leave as well. "The same thing goes for Sabertooth, we don't appreciate having our time wasted."

"I-I promise to be more careful if I ever process a request with either guild again." The man hollered so that I could hear him across the room. Once I made it to the office door, I sped up knowing my way out.

"250,000J a piece! Way to go Lucy!" Cana sang as she hugged her share of the reward. "Now let's go get patched up, before these things leave scars." I nodded enthusiastically, wanting to change out of my blood cakes clothing as soon as possible.

Not far behind I heard a chuckle, Rouge was amused by us. I could feel the heat burning my cheeks and neck just thinking about it.

"So your mission was a bust huh?" A little good natured conversation couldn't hurt, after all our guilds were getting along at the moment.

"I got paid, so not a total loss." He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Cana gave me one of her looks, implying that I was trying to flirt with the dark haired man. I laughed openly at her silent accusation, I didn't have the heart to flirt.

"See you around!" I waved, as Cana and I sprinted down the long gravel drive. She mumbled something under her breath about stupid Sabertooth mages, but I didn't catch what it was because my mind was on the hot springs back in Hosenka.

A certain someone had been watching my back the whole way through our departure, amusement tugging his face into a smile.


	4. Loveable Drunks

Cana and I found ourselves in the middle of a sprawling festival, donning fresh bandages from the local clinic. Our mission was a sucess so we decided we should celebrate. Since Cana was out of her personal stock, we would need to find a place somewhere on the overcrowded street to enjoy ourselves. We ducked into the first pub we came across, settling in at the bar.

I tried my best to ignore the other occupants of the establishment; this night was for my own entertainment, no one elses.

"Bar keep, get me two glasses of your finest whiskey!" Cana hollered down the line, said bar keep took one look at Cana's smileing face, and bouncing bustline. An instant later he had what she requested, ignoring the calls from the other patrons of the bar.

He set the bottle on the bar with two high ball glasses.

"Would you like ice, miss?" The man asked, opening the bottle.

"I've changed my mind, just give me the whole bottle. Lucy, hurry up and order or I'll pick for you." Cana took the bottle from the man's hand; she took a swallow and purred in contentment.

"May I have something strong, anything but whiskey." I leaned heavily on the bar, letting my sore muscles relax for a bit. The bar keep took a moment to bring me a bottle of fruit flavored vodka. He placed the bottle on the bar with a glass, which I refused. Tonight I was going all out, I had every intention to drink my fill my reputation be damned.

"You'll keep them coming right mister." Cana winked, and passed a large note across the bar top. "We're celebrating tonight."

"Yes ma'am." He had the biggest grin on his face as he shuffled to the back room, intent on bringing every last bottle of whiskey to his new favorite patron.

"Alright, let's do this properly." Cana shifted in her seat, holding her bottle up in a salute, I mirrored the action with my bottle. "I'm drinking to our success, and your well placed bet."

"I'll drink to that, and getting absolutely hammered." We tapped the neck of out bottles together, cheering 'bottoms up'.

We spent our time enjoying the drinking games that broke out all around us, some which we participated in happily. Cana drank them all under the table, while I managed to pull out a single victory at a game of quarters. I felt so light, so free. I could see why Cana enjoyed living in this state of mental suspension, I really didn't feel the need to brood over my troubles, I could finally just be.

.

.

.

It had been several hours since we had entered the establishment, and Cana was finishing off the last bottle of whiskey that the bar keep could find.

"'Bout time we move on." Cana gave a lopsided smile to the man, paying our tab happily. He cried, and invited us to come back any time, followed shortly by our drinking buddies crying that they'd miss us, some even challenging Cana to a rematch the next time. She had laughed at them, claiming that she'd wipe the floor with them anytime.

I was on cloud nine, just enjoying the feeling of freedom.

The street lamp lycrimas were beginning to flicker to life, casting a surreal glow over the people in the crowd. All around me people we carrying on with laughter and smiles.

Soft music was drift from an area up ahead, presumably a live band was playing in the courtyard of the city.

I took a deep breath, taking all the happiness in the air deep into my lungs.

"I think I can do this." I turned to my friend with bright eyes.

"Huh?" Cana wasn't really paying attention, she was more interested in the massive group of young men that had just passed by. "What were you saying?"

"I said, I think I can do this now." She gave me a look like she couldn't understand what I was trying to say. "You know the whole brokenhearted Lucy getting over the stupid headed Natsu dumping me even though we aren't together thing."

"Oh yeah? This calls for more booze!" She linked her arm around mine, swiping a cup off a vendor's cart with a wicked smile. "Maybe by the end of tonight you'll forget he ever existed at all." I was about to tell Cana that she was being a little excessive when I heard a gasp.

"L-Lucy-sama, is that you?" I swiveled my head, to find the only other celestial spirit mage I knew standing behind me, looking adorable in her soft pink dress and a pair of kitten heels that matched beautifully.

"Yukino, what a nice coincidence." I moved to give the her a short hug. "How have you been?" The light haired woman smiled at us with bright eyes.

"Great actually, I had a very easy job, so we decided to stick around for the festival." She motioned to the tall man leaning against a lamp post not to far from us. I raised an eyebrow at him then looked back to Yukino, she had a slightly guilty blush across her cheeks.

"That's lovely, do you want to join us? Cana and I are celebrating our last job, among other things." I tried my best to keep my voice steady, as my mind began to clear.

"Just the two of you? Where are Natsu and Happy?" The question was completely innocent, she had no way of knowing what had been going on behind closed doors. I felt the sting of pain rip through my chest at the thought that we might never be that close ever again. "I don't think I've even seen the three of you apart."

"He...I... well... that is to say. Um..." I was flustered, and it irritated me all the more.

"They 'broke up'." Cana interjected. "Jackass, did the breaking."

"Cana! What the hell?" I flushed crimson. "Dammit, you swore you'd keep it secret, traitor!"

"I promised to keep it from our guild, Yukino isn't a part of Fairy Tail, so fair game." She tossed the cup she had swiped from a vendor into a near by trash can and continued, ignoring my segmented objections. "Why are you being so shy about it anyway? It's not like you were even really dating to begin with. Do you think it makes your situation better to stay silent about being taken advantage of?" She pointed her finger in my face before getting serious.

"You've been head over heels for that boy for years, and for all intents and purposes you were "together". That boy has been all over you since day one, it was only a matter of time before you wanted more from him. It's his own damn fault if he couldn't see that you deserve the whole package." Cana took a deep breath before diving right back in. "He is a coward to turn away from your feelings like that. When I see him again I will tell him as much, and if I don't like his response I'll drown him in the pool. Lucy, don't you see that you deserve better than this? Don't you want someone who loves you too?"

I was absolutely shell shocked at her out burst; I hadn't realized just how angry the situation was making her.

"I feel like I've missed something terribly important here." Yunkino added nervously, as she looked around at the crowd staring at our little group.

"Come on, I'll fill you some where else, since I'm all sobered up now." Cana grabbed Yukino's arm and lead the way down a path to the bar we had been intending to continue our festivities in.

We took a table, and ordered a round of ale before I got myself ready for the truth to come out in full detail. Cana explained everything that I had told her, going into the bits that she had seen from afar about how close Natsu and I had been over the past year. She told them about his little trip and how he hadn't even had the "balls" to tell me to my face.

.

.

.

I felt my face burning in embarassment when it was all out in the open, hanging there between us. I never realized just how bad my situation would look to an outsider, I had always just accepted it for what it was.

"I couldn't help but develop feelings. I never really wanted to, I resisted it for a very long time. It got more complicated as we grew closer, eventually I started reaching out, and I _thought_ he was responding in the right way to move forward. I guess I'm not as good at reading people as I thought."

"That's ridiculous, I'm going to beat him senseless revive him and then drown him in the pool!" Cana huffed, still irate with the subject of our discussion.

"You can't control your feelings nor someone's actions other than your own; you aren't at fault here Lucy. Stop beating your self up over something that you had no way of avoiding." Yukino's eyes were shining with tears, showing sympathy for my situation.

"I am responsible for allowing things to progress without clearing the air first. I never should have let myself get swept up in his game." I couldn't fight back my tears much longer, it was almost more than I could take.

"If you ask me, Natsu is a fool." I tried not to make eye contact as I lifted my head. "I agree with Cana, no one deserves to be treated that way." Rogue was ridged in his seat, the knuckles of his hands had gone white from clenching his fist through the whole story. Behind his stone mask I could see his eyes burn with the same anger Cana was expressing aloud.

"I was blinded, completely overwhelmed by the situation." I tried to smile, so that my three companions would calm down a little. "But it's over now, and I need to learn to be who I was before he came into my life again. That's partly why I'm still here in Hosenka, I'm not ready to go back and face everyone. I need to put myself back together again first."

"You can count on me to help you get there!" Yukino sang, the tears finally falling down her soft cheeks. "Rogue, you'll let Master know that I'm taking some personal time, right?" She turned her eyes on her partner, internally amused at how angry he was under his well constructed facade.

"He won't be happy, you know that right?" Rogue seemed to be against the idea of pissing his Guild Master off.

"I can't turn away from a friend in need!" She declared.

"Fine tell him yourself then." He tossed her a travel sized lycrima, his lips twitching into a small smile. Yukino's eyes went wide as the screen flickered to life, she panicked for a second before putting on her brave face.

"Yukino, it's late, what do you want?" The voice sounded irritated. "Make it fast, I have paper work to catch up on."

"I'll be staying in Hosenka for a couple more days, I ran into a friend who in a bad situation, and I don't want to leave her alone." Yukino was so adorable when she had her mind set on something, it reminded me of the look Lisanna gets when she has a fight with Elfman.

"Yukino, you have jobs waiting for you, the kind I can't give to anyone else. I can spare you for a day at the festival, but I really need you back here after that."

"Absolutely not, my jobs can wait, Lucy-sama needs me right now."

"What does the blonde Fairy have to do with any of this?" There was a deep sigh before he continued "There is no point to arguing with you, is there?"

"No. I've made up my mind. Lucy-sama is hurt and I want to help, I'll be home when she feels better."

"Is Rogue there?" The light haired girl nodded before passing the lycrima over to her partner. "Step away from Yukino, we need to discuss the job you were supposed to do, **now**."

Rogue gave Yukino a look like she had murdered a puppy in cold blood while whispering something about how she was getting him into trouble again before shuffling out the door.

"You didn't need to do that, aren't you going to get in trouble for talking back?" I had never heard Yukino be so bold, it was very entertaining.

"Rogue will calm him down, and I'll get my way, I always do." She shifted in her chair, taking a sip of her mug with a pleased expression on her face. "It's one of the perks of being 'a rose about the thorns' as Rufus likes to say."

"Meaning you still don't have many female members, right?" I questioned. Yukino's smile dimmed a little as she played with her index fingers.

"We're still recovering from the reputation our last Master and Minerva left us with. Most are too intimidated to make it past the grandeur of our main building." She sighed wistfully. "I would love to have other girls around to hang out with, especially now that we can enjoy ourselves. I've been trying to recruit, but it's not going very well."

A moment later Rogue came back in, looking rather annoyed.

"He wants to talk to you again." the lycrima was passed back.

"I'm still not coming back." She stated simply, she looked prepared for a staring contest in all seriousness.

"Yeah, yeah, I get that." He sounded absolutely defeated at this point. "You promised to come with me to this stupid Guild Master Ceremony thing at the end of the week, as long as you make it for that I'll let you off the hook. Oh, but if you aren't back the day before the event, I'll come over there and drag you back. You are not getting out of it, period." Yukino nodded her head, blushing slightly.

"A promise is a promise, and I keep all of mine, even if it's going to be as boring as the last one you forced me to go to." She groaned for dramatic effect. "I really can't wait till you don't need me for these kinds of things anymore." She puffed her cheeks out in the cutest way I'd ever seen before.

"Do you think I like dealing with all this? Someone will be suffering with me, and it can't be a guy. I learned my lesson about that when Master Bob latched onto me thinking I was one of those dude who went that way, which I absolutely am NOT." There was a sound of distaste, and I felt a shudder run through me. Master Bob could be scary at times, and he had a fondness for two of my teammates. I stifled a laugh, as I remembered their faces the last time we had encountered the Blue Pegasus Guild Master.

"You poor thing, that must have been horrible. I promise to save you from scary Master Bob." Yukino was teasing her Master, cooing like that. I felt like maybe this should have been a more private conversation, but everyone else acted like it was perfectly normal.

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Yukino. Anyway, I really do have work to do. So, as long as you're back by that evil thing I don't care what you do."

"Thank You!" She let the screen go dark before sending me a wink, and mouthing 'I told you so'.

"I hate you sometimes, you know that right? I'm taking the fall for that stupid mission." He folded his arms over his chest before continuing. "Apparently our client sent a complaint letter about how the job was handled straight to the guild accusing us of improper conduct."

Yukino didn't seem to worried about it, but Rogue looked absolutely unnerved.

"I don't see what the problem is, we did our job; it was the client's fault for withholding information." She focused on the mug in front of her.

"You know that you're not getting off that easy, right? I've been told that if I don't get you back in time for that stupid Guild Master's 'Meeting' he'll keep Frosh for another month. So you're stuck with me, and I'm going to make this a living nightmare if I have to!"

"Sorry to interrupt, but I've been meaning to ask you guys something." I looked from one to the other, both refused to meet my gaze. "You were tailing us on our job, right?"

"Huh?" Apparently Cana hadn't noticed their presence while we had been walking through the forest.

"Yeah, sorry. We were supposed to keep track of your progress, and alert the employer if the seal was broken. However, I refused to go back after your fight with that horrible two headed bear thing. I just couldn't leave you two, not when you looked so, pained. So we waited till you woke up and then I sent Rouge ahead, since he's faster." Yukino laughed lightly, rubbing the back of her neck.

"So he planed to cheat us somehow, that jerk!" I shook my head. "Super creeper and a jerk, I'm glad I squeezed the extra money out of him."

"I still don't get the three day deadline though." Cana thought out loud before snagging a waiter to order another round.

"Something about a woman refusing his proposal without a proper gift. She's coming to Hosenka for the festival, expecting him to have one by then." Rouge answered, his shoulders still stiff from annoyance.

"That makes a lot of sense, men in that world get desperate when they aren't married by a certain age. She is probably the only option he has left. High breed women are hard to come by after age twenty, and the young ones don't like to marry geezers." They watched me shiver at the thought. "I am so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore."

All eyes were on me now; I laughed nervously.

"What are you talking about?" Yukino shifted her head to the side, inspecting me like I was the two headed bear-like creature she mentioned earlier.

"What? I'm the only daughter of Jude Heartfilia, we were the wealthiest family in Fiore back before I joined Fairy Tail. My father had a marriage contract in place right after I was announced on 'society'. I've never really been an obedient child though so I took off and told him I wasn't coming back. I decided being a part of Fairy Tail was way better than the boring life of a socialite. Especially with my crazy friends dragging me into life and death situations all the time."

Yukino was laughing lightly and Rouge was still mumbling about his punishment when Cana suddenly grabbed my hands with a squeal.

"It all make so much sense now!" Cana mumbled. "I know how to fix this!" She pulled out her cards happily and started shuffling, it was a habit of hers.

"Fix what?" I really wanted to know since she seemed so happy about her conclusion.

"It all begins with your unhealthy amount of admiration towards that idiot! You were an only child, so my guess it that Natsu was your first real friend, right?" She didn't wait for my reply before continuing on. "I mean if you think about it like this, Natsu would go through hell and back for **anyone of our guild members**. He puts himself on the front line every time there is a major fight and some times he says the one thing that everyone needs to pick themselves up to keep fighting. Everyone admires him in that way, not just you."

"If you're trying to make me feel better it's totally not working." I sighed, trying to digest that thought. There were times that Natsu had done things because it was me, the Rainbow cherry tree for instance, that had been only for me. It was an insanely romantic gesture even though it hadn't been meant as one. There were dozens of other time, but I couldn't really say that he did them for any particular reason.

"I'm trying to get you to realize that you only see the good in him, and you are going to continue to idolize him so long as you keep that up; you practically worship him." Cana pointed a card at me accusingly.

"It's not a bad thing to think highly of someone who would **DIE** for you." I was standing up at this point, knowing that I was over reacting to her statement. "So what if my feelings started with gratitude, isn't that a good thing?"

"No, I think that you are naive, and don't truly understand the situation you've been so carelessly putting yourself in." Cana was standing now as well, her voice beginning to rise.

"I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, I was willing to take the leap if it meant we could be together." I was crying now, feeling my heart tear with every verbal attack.

"Do you think you'd still be singing his praises if he'd gotten you into bed before crushing your heart?" Cana narrowed her eyes dangerously.

We had never gotten to the subject of exactly how far I had allowed things to progress, so the question caught me off guard. I took a long breath, shaking with anger now.

"How dare you imply that I would ever do something like that! I was raised better than to just give myself away!" I was ready to run away, I was ready to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out again. "I never let it get even close to that, ever." I was ready to bolt out the door but Yukino stopped me, wrapping her arms around me from the back.

"I understand how you feel." She motioned that we were going to take a walk. Rogue made a move to follow, but Yukino shook her head muttering that this was something she needed to do alone.

We walked away from the bar, and toward a quiet alley. "You know, when I was younger there was an article in Sorcerer weekly about Fairy Tail, specifically a very pretty blonde celestial spirit mage. I was fascinated by your interview, so much so that I vowed to be as awesome as you some day." Yukino smiled as she pulled the crinkled old copy out of her bag. "You inspired me, and I am the person that I am today because of my desire to someday surpass you. I'm sure it's similar for you, right. Natsu is kind, yet strong. His heart is what inspires you to grow stronger too." She patted my shoulder softly. "I don't blame you for falling for someone who always puts himself out there for the people he cares for. He's handled you badly, yes, but it doesn't mean that he's any less the Natsu that you fell for."

"Yukino." I wrapped my arms around her sobbing.

"You can love someone without being in love with them, maybe it's time for you to try shifting into that frame of mind." She lead me back to the others slowly as I processed the idea.

"Thank you Yukino, I'm sorry you are seeing this side of me."

"We are friends! It is my duty to help you when you are in need, the same as you've always done for me."

We both smiled, and I wiped what was left of the tears from my face. It actually felt better to have it all out in the open, it was refreshing to have the weight of my feeling finally lifted from my chest. I felt like I could finally breath properly again.

I settled back into my seat, and Cana sighed.

"I went too far, I'm sorry." I nodded accepting her apology. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need something stronger than booze."

She already had her eyes on some poor bastard at the bar, and it only took a few bats of her eye and a suggestive glance at the door to get him to follow.

"Don't come back to the room." She hollered over her shoulder at me.

"Where am i going to sleep?!" I yelled back.

"Don't know, don't care!" She sang before she dragged her item of affection outside.

"CANA!" I tried to call out, but she had already danced her way out the door.

"You'll stay with me." Yukino sang, helpfully.

"If we can find a room, everywhere seems to be booked up." Rouge interjected.

"We had the same problem because of the festival. The inn we're staying at is a little out of town, and it's not as pretty, but it's a place to sleep."

"Sounds perfect, what was it called?" Yukino was up in an instant.

"Honeysuckle inn." I gave her a brief description and directions how to get there.

"I'll go get us rooms and meet you down at the karaoke bar by the main bath house. This will do so much fun, I can't wait!"

She was gone before either of us could object. I took a deep breath and called the waiter over to settle our tab, she handed me the bill, saying that the young lady with brown hair paid her already. I thanked the stars, I really hadn't wanted to spend all my reward on alcohol. I patted her hand, giving her an extra large tip before pocketing the bill.

"Karaoke, huh? Sounds interesting." I got up from the table and turned to Rouge, amused by the look of horror on his face. "You coming or what?"

* * *

><p>I sat on one of the small couch in the room looking over a list of popular songs carefully, while Yukino played around with the machine. Finally she got it up and running as our food order came.<p>

"I wish we had these sound proof booths at the guild, I'd totally lock Gajeel in when he's in the mood to torture us." I flipped to the next page, half aware that the other two were staring at me. "It's annoying, plus since our little competition at the last Games he's forced me to dance while he sings. It's totally embarrassing." I heaved a deep sigh, turning the page again.

"Gajeel sings? That doesn't sound like something a big scary guy like him would do." Yukino shook her head, I could almost see the mental picture forming in her mind.

"You don't know the half of it, but lets not worry about that right now. I think I've decided!" Yukino handed me the controller, and showed me how to put in my selection before enjoying the tray of sweets she had ordered for herself.

"I'm sure it's fun though." She added between bites.

"Yeah, it is."

"Tell me why I had to come again?" Rogue grumbled from the couch he had claimed as his.

"Because you'd be bored to tears in the room alone. So you're going to have fun with us instead." She danced around the table plopping the book on his face before dancing back to sit by me.

"I **will not** participate in this." He shoved the book to the floor.

"You're no fun." She pouted, and I had to stifle a laugh.

"Leave him be, it'll be more fun with just the two of us." I finished my selection and signaled for Yukino to pick up the microphone.

The lyrics popped up on the projection, the little ticker at the bottom of the screen counting down.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"Ordinary Day"<strong> (Vanessa Carlton)_

_ Just a day,_  
><em> Just an ordinary day.<em>  
><em> Just trying to get by.<em>  
><em> Just a boy,<em>  
><em> Just an ordinary boy.<em>  
><em> But he was looking to the sky.<em>  
><em> And as he asked if I would come along<em>  
><em> I started to realize<em>  
><em> That everyday he finds<em>  
><em> Just what he's looking for,<em>  
><em> Like a shooting star he shines.<em>

_ He said take my hand,_  
><em> Live while you can<em>  
><em> Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand<em>

_ And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words_  
><em> Although they did not feel<em>  
><em> For I felt what I had not felt before<em>  
><em> And you'd swear those words could heal.<em>  
><em> And as I looked up into those eyes<em>  
><em> His vision borrows mine.<em>  
><em> And I know he's no stranger,<em>  
><em> For I feel I've held him for all of time.<em>

_ And he said take my hand,_  
><em> Live while you can<em>  
><em> Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand<em>  
><em> In the palm of your hand.<em>

_ Please come with me,_  
><em> See what I see.<em>  
><em> Touch the stars for time will not flee.<em>  
><em> Time will not flee.<em>  
><em> Can you see?<em>

_ Just a dream, just an ordinary dream._  
><em> As I wake in bed<em>  
><em> And the boy, that ordinary boy<em>  
><em> Or was it all in my head?<em>  
><em> Did he asked if I would come along<em>  
><em> It all seemed so real.<em>  
><em> But as I looked to the door,<em>  
><em> I saw that boy standing there with a deal.<em>

_ And he said take my hand,_  
><em> Live while you can,<em>  
><em> Don't you see all your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand<em>  
><em> In the palm of your hand,<em>  
><em> In the palm of your hand.<em>

_ Just a day, just an ordinary day_  
><em> Just trying to get by.<em>  
><em> Just a boy,<em>  
><em> Just an ordinary boy.<em>  
><em> But he was looking to the sky.<em>

* * *

><p>She took a little bow and handed the microphone over to me. "That's a nice song, good pick." She complimented me.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>"Let It Burn"<strong>_ (Red)

_ I watch the city burn_  
><em> These dreams like ashes float away<em>  
><em> Your voice I never heard<em>  
><em> Only silence<em>  
><em> Where were you when our hearts were bleeding<em>  
><em> Where were you? It all crashed down<em>  
><em> Never thought that you'd deceive me<em>  
><em> Where are you now?<em>

_ How long can you stand the pain?_  
><em> How long will you hide your face?<em>  
><em> How long will you be afraid?<em>  
><em> Are you afraid?<em>  
><em> How long will you play this game?<em>  
><em> Will you fight or will you walk away?<em>  
><em> How long will you let it burn?<em>  
><em> Let it burn?<em>  
><em> Let it burn?<em>

_ I watch the city burn_  
><em> These passions slowly smoldering<em>  
><em> A lesson never learned<em>  
><em> Only violence<em>  
><em> Is your world just a broken promise?<em>  
><em> Is your love just a drop of rain?<em>  
><em> Will we all just burn like fire?<em>  
><em> Are you still there?<em>  
><em> Tell me now...<em>

_ ...can you stand the pain?_  
><em> How long will you hide your face?<em>  
><em> How long will you be afraid?<em>  
><em> Are you afraid?<em>  
><em> How long will you play this game?<em>  
><em> Will you fight or will you walk away?<em>  
><em> How long will you let it burn?<em>  
><em> Let it burn<em>  
><em> Let it burn<em>

_ Will you wait until it all burns down?_  
><em> Will you hide until it all burns down?<em>  
><em> Will it hurt when it all burns down?<em>  
><em> Will you fight when it all burns down?<em>

_ Will you stand when it all burns down?_  
><em> Will you love when it all burns down?<em>  
><em> Will it end when it all burns down?<em>  
><em> Will you just let it all burn down?<em>

_ How long can you stand the pain?_  
><em> How long will you hide your face?<em>  
><em> How long will you be afraid?<em>  
><em> Are you afraid?<em>  
><em> How long will you play this game?<em>  
><em> Will you fight or will you walk away?<em>  
><em> How long will you let it burn?<em>  
><em> Let it burn<em>  
><em> Let it burn<em>

_ Let it burn_  
><em> Let it burn<em>  
><em> Let it burn<em>

* * *

><p>I felt my face heat up as I finished, but I was still extremely happy just the same. The next song appeared and I tossed the microphone over to Yukino again.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>"Young And Beautiful"<strong> (Lana Del Rey)_

_ I've seen the world_  
><em> Done it all<em>  
><em> Had my cake now<em>  
><em> Diamonds, brilliant<em>  
><em> And Bel Air now<em>  
><em> Hot summer nights, mid July<em>  
><em> When you and I were forever wild<em>  
><em> The crazy days, city lights<em>  
><em> The way you'd play with me like a child<em>

_ Will you still love me_  
><em> When I'm no longer young and beautiful?<em>  
><em> Will you still love me<em>  
><em> When I got nothing but my aching soul?<em>  
><em> I know you will, I know you will<em>  
><em> I know that you will<em>  
><em> Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?<em>

_ I've seen the world, lit it up_  
><em> As my stage now<em>  
><em> Channeling angels in the new age now<em>  
><em> Hot summer days, rock 'n' roll<em>  
><em> The way you play for me at your show<em>  
><em> And all the ways I got to know<em>  
><em> Your pretty face and electric soul<em>

_ Will you still love me_  
><em> When I'm no longer young and beautiful?<em>  
><em> Will you still love me<em>  
><em> When I got nothing but my aching soul?<em>  
><em> I know you will, I know you will<em>  
><em> I know that you will<em>  
><em> Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?<em>

_ Dear lord, when I get to heaven_  
><em> Please let me bring my man<em>  
><em> When he comes tell me that you'll let him in<em>  
><em> Father tell me if you can<em>  
><em> Oh that grace, oh that body<em>  
><em> Oh that face makes me wanna party<em>  
><em> He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds<em>

_ Will you still love me_  
><em> When I'm no longer young and beautiful?<em>  
><em> Will you still love me<em>  
><em> When I got nothing but my aching soul?<em>  
><em> I know you will, I know you will<em>  
><em> I know that you will<em>  
><em> Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?<em>  
><em> Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?<em>  
><em> Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?<em>

* * *

><p>"This next one we should both sing!" Yukino took the spare microphone and came to stand beside me.<p>

"Sure, this is more fun than I thought it would be." I was enjoying myself, laughing and singing, even if I sounded like a dying cat.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"What Doesn't Kill You"<strong>_ (Kelly Clarkson)

_ You know the bed feels warmer_  
><em> Sleeping here alone<em>  
><em> You know I dream in color<em>  
><em> And do the things I want<em>

_ You think you got the best of me_  
><em> Think you've had the last laugh<em>  
><em> Bet you think that everything good is gone<em>  
><em> Think you left me broken down<em>  
><em> Think that I'd come running back<em>  
><em> Baby, you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong<em>

_ [chorus]_  
><em> What doesn't kill you makes you stronger<em>  
><em> Stand a little taller<em>  
><em> Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone<em>  
><em> What doesn't kill you makes a fighter<em>  
><em> Footsteps even lighter<em>  
><em> Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone<em>

_ [bridge]_  
><em> What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger<em>  
><em> Just me, myself, and I<em>  
><em> What doesn't kill you makes you stronger<em>  
><em> Stand a little taller<em>  
><em> Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone<em>

_ You heard that I was starting over with someone new_  
><em> They told you I was moving on, over you<em>  
><em> You didn't think that I'd come back<em>  
><em> I'd come back swinging<em>  
><em> You tried to break me, but you see<em>

_ [repeat chorus]_

_ [repeat bridge]_

_ Thanks to you I got a new thing started_  
><em> Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted<em>  
><em> Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me<em>  
><em> You know in the end the day you left is just my beginning<em>  
><em> In the end<em>

_ [repeat chorus]_

_ [repeat bridge x2]_

_ I'm not alone_

* * *

><p>"One more, just one more!" I put in the codes to the song.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>"The Grey"<strong>_ (Icon for Hire)

_I am standing on the edge of returning or just running away_  
><em> I am letting myself look the other way<em>  
><em> And the hardest part in all of this is I don't think I know my way back home<em>  
><em> Is it worth the journey or do I let my heart settle here<em>

_ How cold have I become_  
><em> I didn't want to<em>  
><em> Lose you by what I'd done<em>  
><em> Caught in the grey<em>

_ I don't wanna look you in the eyes, you might call my away_  
><em> I don't wanna give you the chance to make me stay<em>  
><em> And the hardest part in all of this is<em>  
><em> I know my way back, I don't want to go<em>  
><em> And let you see all that has become of me<em>

_ I should've know, I should've known_  
><em> I didn't have a chance<em>

_ How cold have I become_  
><em> I didn't want to<em>  
><em> Lose you by what I'd done<em>  
><em> Caught in the grey<em>  
><em> It burns for a moment but<em>  
><em> But then it numbs you<em>  
><em> Takes you and leaves you just<em>  
><em> Caught in the grey<em>

_ In your deepest pain_  
><em> In your weakest hour<em>  
><em> In you darkest night<em>  
><em> You are lovely<em>

_ In your deepest pain_  
><em> In your weakest hour<em>  
><em> In you darkest night<em>  
><em> You are lovely<em>

_ How cold have I become_  
><em> I didn't want to<em>  
><em> Lose you by what I'd done<em>  
><em> Caught in the grey<em>  
><em> It burns for a moment but<em>  
><em> But then it numbs you<em>  
><em> Takes you and leaves you just<em>  
><em> Caught in the grey<em>

_ In your deepest pain_  
><em> In your weakest hour<em>  
><em> In you darkest night<em>  
><em> You are lovely<em>

_ In your deepest pain_  
><em> In your weakest hour<em>  
><em> In you darkest night<em>  
><em> You are lovely<em>

__I am standing on the edge of returning or just running away__

* * *

><p>I had sung with real feeling that time, letting it all out in three minutes worth of belting out my heart.<p>

"I think I'm done, I can barely move." I turned my head to see Yukino was munching away at our snacks.

"Good you'll sleep well tonight." She leaned over and grabbed another cookie.

"Are you ready to head back or you want one more song?" She took the microphone one more time punching in the code to the last song of the night.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"I Knew You Were Trouble"<strong>_ (Taylor Swift)

_ Once upon a time a few mistakes ago_  
><em> I was in your sights, you got me alone<em>  
><em> You found me, you found me, you found me<em>  
><em> I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that<em>  
><em> And when I fell hard you took a step back<em>  
><em> Without me, without me, without me<em>

_ And he's long gone when he's next to me_  
><em> And I realize the blame is on me<em>

_ 'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
><em> So shame on me now<em>  
><em> Flew me to places I'd never been<em>  
><em> 'Til you put me down, oh<em>  
><em> I knew you were trouble when you walked in<em>  
><em> So shame on me now<em>  
><em> Flew me to places I'd never been<em>  
><em> Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground<em>  
><em> Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble<em>  
><em> Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble<em>

_ No apologies. He'll never see you cry,_  
><em> Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why.<em>  
><em> You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning.<em>  
><em> Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street<em>  
><em> A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be<em>  
><em> And now I see, now I see, now I see<em>

_ He was long gone when he met me_  
><em> And I realize the joke is on me, yeah!<em>

_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
><em> So shame on me now<em>  
><em> Flew me to places I'd never been<em>  
><em> 'Til you put me down, oh<em>  
><em> I knew you were trouble when you walked in<em>  
><em> So shame on me now<em>  
><em> Flew me to places I'd never been<em>  
><em> Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground<em>  
><em> Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble<em>  
><em> Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble<em>

_ And the saddest fear comes creeping in_  
><em> That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything, yeah<em>

_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
><em> So shame on me now<em>  
><em> Flew me to places I'd never been<em>  
><em> 'Til you put me down, oh<em>  
><em> I knew you were trouble when you walked in (you were right there, you were right there)<em>  
><em> So shame on me now<em>  
><em> Flew me to places I'd never been<em>  
><em> Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground<em>  
><em> Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble<em>  
><em> Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble<em>

_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
><em> Trouble, trouble, trouble<em>  
><em> I knew you were trouble when you walked in<em>  
><em> Trouble, trouble, trouble<em>

* * *

><p><p>

"Right, I'm satisfied now." Yukino nodded as she replaced the microphone and turned to me.

"Finally." Rouge mumbled, shifting on his couch.

"It would have gone by faster if you joined us." I stuck my tongue out at him before helping clear the rest of the food.

"Time to head to our room!" Yukino was practically glowing as she pranced to the door.

"Room, as in only one of them?" My mouth hung open.

"Is that a problem?" Rouge was already out the door.

"Uh... no, not at all."

_This is going to be a long night._


	5. Memories, the painful sort

**Hello readers!**

**Before we get into this chapter I want to make sure you all know that I'm editing out the current manga arc. So there won't be any spoilers so long as you are current with the anime. You will begin to notice some OOC in the characters but worry not, you will enjoy the way I develop their personalities as we move forward. Also I need to mention that my timeline is taking us up to X793.**

** If you expert a quick smut fic you are barking up the wrong tree. I believe in developing relationships before throwing them into a situation like that, that is all! **

**Thank you very much!  
><strong>

**Enjoy the read!**

* * *

><p>Watching the pair in front of me chattering, I could tell there was something different about the way they interacted. I couldn't help the smile on my face, feeling content with the situation. It was almost like being with Levy and Gajeel, listening as they argued about a job, more specifically Levy demanding that Gajeel take her along. I was shocked to be honest, since our last chance encounter hadn't gone so smoothly.<p>

To be honest I **had** been apprehensive about the situation when we were sitting at the bar, since being around Rogue usually put my nerves on edge. Of course I had learned that it was best to hide my discomfort, knowing that my reason for being uncomfortable was absolutely unreasonable.

The first time I realized my problem was nearly two years ago, when the guilds were asked to send their best teams to take out a cluster of dark guilds near the capitol. The request was from the royal family so it was assured that all the top guilds were expected to be present.

I, of course, wanted nothing to do with the suicide mission but Natsu refused to leave me behind. He carried me into the meeting hall kicking and screaming the whole way, allowing me to embarrass myself in front of some rather important people. He finally put me down, never releasing his grip from my shoulders as he looked around to the other participants. While his attention was divided I tried to make my escape, but then I caught sight of the group of Sabertooth Mages. I started shaking, absolutely frozen with fear, Natsu calmly whispered into my ear that this Rogue was not the same as the one who had been intent on seeing my life end.

The difference was clear as crystal now, as I watched Yukino punched him playfully in the arm while whining about him being mean to her, and I understood what Natsu meant for the first time.

I wanted things to be normal, and have the easy friendship that Yukino seemed to share with him. Maybe befriending him would help me move forward.

Maybe...

We entered the lobby of the Inn, and I scooted past my companions.

"Excuse me, sir." I stopped at the front desk, trying to get the elderly man's attention.

"Ah, yes miss, what can I do for you?" He gave me a toothless smile as he turned his body to face me.

"Do you have a piece of paper and pen I can borrow?" He nodded his head and shuffled about his desk looking for a spare piece of paper. He handed it over to me and I scribbled a note then handed the pen back. "Thank you!"

"For Cana?" Yukino was looking over my shoulder, trying to read the quick missive.

"I'm hoping she'll drop my stuff off in the morning, I'll let her keep that room. I don't think I'd be able to sleep in there anyway." I blushed against my will, shivering off the discomfort.

"Alright, you take care of that. I need to take a soak before bed." She patted my shoulder before rushing off in the direction of the women's bath.

"I'm going to sleep, let yourselves in when you get back." I gave a halfhearted salute, my nerves spiking for an unknown reason. He shook his head before ducking into the room.

I practically ran on my way to the room Cana and I were supposed to be sharing. My heart pounded painfully in my chest the whole way there, my throat dry.

When I reached the hall where our room was I tried my best to move quietly. So far I had been lucky and remained unnoticed, sighing I slipped the note underneath the door as quickly as I could. My cheeks flamed when I heard a moan followed by a sharp grunt. I swallowed hard, as the noise grew louder, now accompanied by a rhythmic banging against the wall. I broke out of my terror as quickly as I could, running off to join Yukino with a crimson blush coating my face neck and ears.

_I should have had the old man deliver the message... _

I quickly made my way to the other side of the Inn once more, shaking my head every few minutes to rid myself of the embarrassing images that started to play across my mind. Some time I wished I didn't have such an over active imagination.

_Damn you noisy Cana! _

Once I enter the locker area, I went straight to wash myself with cold water, avoiding Yukino till I could get my blush under control. The last thing I needed was to get teased for being a prude. Being inexperienced wasn't a crime, damn it all! Eventually Yukino got tired of waiting for me and called that she was going on ahead. So I took the opportunity to have a good look at the damage I had acquired during my mission.

I stood stark naked in front of the tall mirror examining my freshly washed body.

My ribcage was starting to show the signs of deep purple bruises, just like I predicted. I turned from side to side, examining the rest of the damage now that I was completely clean. I had been extremely lucky, if Cana hadn't have been there it was highly possible that the creature would have finished the job. The worst of me felt like I went a round with Gajeel, the muscle in my injured leg were swollen and beginning to turn purple, and there were small cuts and scraps up my left side. The worst of all was the cut to my face, but I was sure it would heal quickly, since the healer used a special cream to close it.

I was still disappointed with myself though, for not completing my task properly.

"Next time I try something like that, I'll make sure to have Taurus standing guard." I bit back a small gasp as my fingers ran over my injured ribs. This was a lesson that I would never forget, it was time to stop being so reckless. I wrapped my towel around my body as tightly as I could handle, and tied a towel around my hair. Yukino had taken off into the spring already, and it was time for me to join in the fun.

I made my way out into the open air, filling my lungs with the warm steam rising off the hot water. My muscle groaned as I slide into the pool; I hummed my pleasure as each one relaxed. The atmosphere was absolutely perfect, with the glow of Hosenka's city lights off in the distance, and the music drifting in the evening air. It was serene and would make the perfect atmosphere for a romantic scene between a heroine and a pervy hero. I made a mental note to write this down so that I could use it later.

I began to hum a tune from one of the songs Yukino and I had sung at the Karaoke bar, letting their lyrics wrap around me. Memories flooded to the surface as the words resonated with my soul. Every thought was laced with the presence of Natsu, he was there for every monumental event that had happened to me since I joined Fairy Tail. I was absolutely and completely hopelessly stuck on the boy that was the biggest part of my life. I couldn't seem to make myself forget his bright smile, his endearing courage, his will to protect no matter the cost.

Slowly my mind made it's way to the day where it all had gone wrong; the day I would give anything to take back.

_It was the same as any other afternoon at the guild; our team had just gotten back from a job, and were telling the tales of monsters vanquished and rewards lost to property damage. We laughed together, loving every moment of the joyful atmosphere. _

_A fight broke out for no apparent reason, quickly getting everyone involved except for me. I tried my best to ignore them, my own little problem consuming my mind. _

_"You look like you need to talk." I looked up from the book I had been blankly staring at to see Lisanna's smiling face. _

_"What makes you think I need to talk?" _She took the seat beside me and whispered that I finished that page ten minutes ago. I flushed, but pushed my embarrassment back a moment later, closing my book with a sigh.__

__"Come on Lucy, I know something's on your mind. You can tell me about it if you want." I took a deep breath, not even sure I could put my thoughts into words. The look she was giving me made me want to spill my guts though, it was absolutely the same as Mira's all knowing smile. I expelled a heavy breath, not realizing I had been holding it the whole time. __

__"Alright, I do have something on my mind. Hypothetically, if there were a guy you liked, how would you go about letting him know?" Her blue eyes crinkled mischievously as she tapped her chin to think of an answer. __

__"That truly depends on the type of guy. Normally a smile and 'I like you, lets get to know each other better.' would probably do the job. If he's anything like the guys we know though, I'd have to say actions speak louder than words. They having nothing but fighting on the brain half the time, it doesn't leave much room for romantic thoughts; some times I wonder if they even notice that we are girls at all." She smiled at me, taking in the blush that spread across my cheeks. "I really don't have much experience with it myself, so maybe you should ask Cana, or Levy, she reads those saucy romance novels all the time. I'm sure one of them could help you out." She patted my shoulder before heading off towards the bar again. I called out a thank you as she disappeared into the kitchen.  
><em>_

__I didn't want to talk to anyone else about the subject, since I was already mortified that Lisanna had gotten anything out of me to begin with. I'd been so careful in the past; changing the subject when I became aware of Lisanna and Mira's desire to set me up. I wanted nothing to do with anyone but **him.**__

__I couldn't stop myself from thinking about that conversation, because it was true, I was going to need to be bold to get my feelings across. That thought rang though my head the whole way back to my apartment. Natsu was, if nothing else, a man of action who lived to fight. He was so straight forward all the time, but we had never vocalized what we meant to each other. I was beginning to feel desperate, feeling like if I allowed things to continue at the current pace that he might never realize my feelings. __

__It wasn't like that at first, though every battle we went through brought us closer. Everything changed after the x791 Grand Magic Games though, when we fought against the dragons. I realized just how precious he was to me, and I realized how much it would hurt to lose him. I hadn't told anyone that my future self passed her memories on to me when the Eclipse gate was destroyed. I had watched his last moments play out in my mind, feeling future Lucy's regret at never telling Natsu how she truly felt. She was wrapped guilt that he died trying his best to protect her. I felt her helplessness as she watched him go down in a blaze of glory. __

__I knew now that she had returned to her family, in a future that was no longer a part of our timeline. The last emotion she shared with me was gratitude, as her heart swelled with joy. I decided that I wouldn't let myself feel that regret again, so I started to let my walls down.__

__It had been two whole years since then, and we had grown closer than we had ever been before. Natsu practically lived with me, hardly leaving my side for any reason. He would hold onto my hand at random times during the day, so tightly that it felt like he was trying to keep me from disappearing. He became more cautious about the jobs the three of us would take, saving hard missions for when Erza, Gray, and Wendy accompanied us. From time to time I would even catch him staring at me when we were separated in the guild, even if we were only on opposite sides of the room.  
><em>_

__My mind swam with all the different ways he made my heart pound, and my palms sweat. He lit a fire in my heart without even realizing it, and it was time to let him know.  
><em>_

__I was so deep in thought that I hadn't even noticed my window opening, and my pink haired friend landing on my bed. He sat there, kicking his shoes off and laying his head back on my pillow. He called over to me asking why I'd come home so early, a sense of worry in his deep green eyes. I gave him a nervous smile, preparing myself for what I was about to do. __

__"Natsu," I was on my feet, moving toward him without thinking of the consequences of my actions. I had already waited for so long; I just wanted to move forward. He shifted on the bed, making room for me to sit next to him. I took two deep slow breaths gathering all the courage I had to make my next move. My hand moved on it's own, gently cupping his cheek. "I want to be more than friends" I leaned forward, my lips brushing against his for only a few moments. __

__I pulled back, my heart pounding louder with every second he stayed silent. __

__I wasn't sure what was going on in his mind, because he was suddenly stone faced, with wide eyes. He didn't say a word as he grabbed his shoes and jumped out my bedroom window. __

If I was being honest, it was really me who was an idiot. I sighed, letting go of my worries. What's done is done as they say, there was no point in moping any longer. I had wasted two years of my life on a relationship that would never amount to anything. Even still, I refused to feel regret, Natsu was the beacon that illuminated my way home, and he would always be that for me.

Yukino was right, it was time to put my feelings for him in a box and file it away. I'd hold onto them for the rest of my life, even if he never loved me in return, but I couldn't let myself dwell on those feelings. It would be the hardest task I'd ever forced upon myself, but I knew that if I didn't accomplish it, I'd drive myself insane.

"What are you thinking about?" I turned my head, realizing I hadn't noticed that Yukino was beside me.

"I'm never falling for a Fairy Tail mage ever again." I gave a lopsided smile before leaning my head back to look up at the stars.

"That's a good idea, maybe you should think about someone who doesn't have a death wish." She was teasing, but the idea was still inviting.

"That would be so boring though. What would my life be without battling man eating monster plants, and dark guilds every day?" I teased back.

"You're right, normal guys are boring." She nodded her head sagely. "The last one I dated ran screaming when I introduced him to the guild." She laughed at the memory, her eyes sparkling with glee.

"I've gotten plenty of interest from normal men, they just never measured up to Natsu. It sucks that he is always going to be my base for comparison." I took a deep breath and looked up at the nearly full moon, schooling my features into a serious expression. "Truthfully, I'm thinking that I don't want to search for love, trying to fill the void with just anyone won't make me happy."

Yukino placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a sweet smile.

"Some day you'll fall without even realizing it, and when it happens I hope it'll be everything you ever dreamed of. You deserve nothing less, Lucy-sama."

We settled into a comfortable silence, just listening to the wind blow through the trees. It was such a serene feeling listening to the calm waterfall and our slow steady breathing. I allowed myself to slip into a wonderful daydream of a peaceful day of shopping in Magnolia's market place, imagining the pair of black heeled boots that I couldn't afford just a few weeks ago. I hoped they still had them in my size.

The silence stretched on as my mind traveled to other things.

"Hey, Yukino?"

"Mhm." She mumbled with closed eyes.

"Why are you on a job with Rogue; I mean why is it just you two?" She cracked an eye open, measuring her response carefully.

"Master doesn't like sending me on jobs alone. Rogue was being punished anyway so he got stuck with bodyguard duty." She looked distant for a moment before she closed her eyes again.

"That's a strange punishment." I closed my eyes as well.

"Making Frosh stay behind with Lector is the real punishment, since they hate being apart. It's really the only thing that affects him enough to be considered a punishment."

I could see that being the truth, Rogue didn't seem the type to let anything get to him. He seemed like the type that didn't allow emotions to affect his decision making. Of course anyone could see how different he was with the small green exceed, and I couldn't blame him for it either, Frosh was so cute he could melt the coldest of hearts.

Suddenly I found myself missing the little blue exceed, Happy. Yeah, he could be annoying from time to time, but he was great company. When I was feeling down or lonely he and I would spy on our guild mates, and laugh behind their backs when we discovered their secrets. Sometime he would use the information to bride people to buy him fish.

"Poor Rogue, I bet he misses that little ball of fluff." I really wanted to say I missed Happy, but I had decided that saying it out loud would make me miss them both even more.

"He'll be fine, he needs to socialize with other people more anyway. Most likely that's the reason Master made him stay, since dealing with people is one of Rogue's biggest weaknesses." She leaned forward, gathering her knees to her chest. "Plus he won't let me be alone for very long." There was a note of sadness to her voice that she was trying extremely hard to bury.

"You don't need to say anymore, I get it." I patted her shoulder, realizing she had troubles of her own.

"I guess I know a little something about what your going through. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone how you really feel about them." She gave me a defeated smile. "Unfortunately for us, it didn't seem to work out that all that well."

She was struggling with mending a broken heart as well. It made sense now, she was staying away from her guild the same as I was trying to do.

"It's his loss." I whispered, the words had been meant for both of us.

"Yes it is." She nodded.

.

.

.

We laughed as we shared stories on our way back to the room, both of us wrapped in thin cotton robes. I felt so much better now that I knew Yukino really did understand what I was going through, she was a far better choice to help me now than Cana could be. Don't get me wrong, I adored the drunken card wielder like an older sister, but her answer to the problem wasn't going to be enough this time around.

I had to do this on my own power, without relying on a crutch like alcohol.

We reached the room and I put the key in the lock, twisted then pushed my way in. Yukino turned the light on so we wouldn't trip over the threshold. I noticed that my bag was tucked in the corner, and made my way over to it.

_Lucy,_

_I really am sorry about what I said earlier, I didn't mean it, I was just angry. I think maybe it's best you just take some time to think about what you want, you know, just enjoy yourself. Don't worry I'll let Gramps know that your taking a little vacation. Be strong kid, and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea! Oh and don't forget to send your rent to that scary land lady of yours! I don't wanna see you on the street.  
><em>

_See you back in Magnolia_

_Cana_

I dropped the note onto the table with a small smile. I wasn't angry at her anymore, how could I be? She had the sense to remind me of the punishment I would receive if my rent was late again.

"What's that?"

"It's a reminder that I came on a job so I could pay my rent." Cana must have already been on her way to the train station, she'd be heading home soon. "My land lady won't let me get away with being late again. Not after holding my apartment for me for the seven years while we were missing. She's strict, but sweet in a way." I don't know what I would have done if my father hadn't sent enough rent to pay off the seven years of back rent I owed. Most likely I'd still be trying to pay it off. "Cana's also letting our Master know not to expect me back for a little while, so I can take my time figuring things out." Tears pricked at my eyes; Cana was a really good friend no matter how badly she hurt me with her comments earlier that night. I began to laugh, not really knowing why, but it felt good.

"What's wrong with her?" I caught Rogue mumbling from the other side of the room. His hair was disheveled, his robe hanging slightly open on top. I had to look away, feeling the embarrassed heat rise up my neck. Just one more thing that made no sense, I saw my teammates half (or in Gray's case stark) naked all the time. I'd lost the shock that a finely toned chest sent down my spine a long time ago. _The hell are you embarrassed for? It's just a bit of chest. _I chastised myself silently for the moment of awkwardness.

"Maybe she's still a little tipsy, I dunno." Yukino shrugged her shoulders. "Thanks for setting up the futons." She was already on the other side of the room, slipping under her blanket with a tired sigh.

"Kill the light will ya?" Rogue muttered as he slumped back down, pulling the blanket over his head.

I watched the two as they drifted off, Rogue on the left side of the room, Yukino on the right. My mat was in the middle, just below the only window in the room. Slowly I gathered my composure, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness when the lights went off. I knew instantly that I wasn't going to sleep well, even if I still had a little of my buzz from earlier that evening.

"I need to figure out a way to get past this."

I sighed and opened the window, intent on gazing at the stars in the absence of sleep. I took my finger, and traced the lines of the Zodiac constellations slowly allowing myself to think over the past few days.

"I can't just sit around moping, I should be out there doing something." I lazily hung my arms across the sill, continuing to talk to myself. "Maybe I should start working on expanding my magic again, or find some more silver keys. I'll have to work more if I want to afford them. What is Erza going to do when she finds out that I'm leaving the team? I almost don't want to tell her... she'll demand a reason. Why did I have to make everything so complicated?"

I brushed my fingers through my loose hair, tucking it behind my ear so that my vision stayed clear.

"What would you tell me to do Mama?" I closed my eyes trying to bring a picture of my mother into my mind, imagining what kind of advice she would be giving me if she were still alive.

"You'd say that sometimes things need to fall apart, because when I pick myself back up I'll be stronger than before." I took a deep breath enjoying the light scent of the honey suckle blossoms that crept around the window frame. "I've survived so much worse, I will not let this be the thing that destroys me. I just really don't want to fall apart right now."

I fiddled with the keys on the garter around my thigh, pulling a silver key out. As quietly as I could I summoned Lyra, the harp.

"Lucy! It's been ages! What can I do for you?" She gave me the biggest hug.

"Can you stay with me till I fall asleep?" She looked at me with sympathy radiating off her entire being, obviously she already had a grasp on what I was feeling.

"What's the matter?" I tried not to look bothered, as I gave her my answer.

"I'm having a bad day." I looked back to the sky trying to keep my composure. "It's still hard to adjust to sleeping alone."

"It'll get easier Lucy, I promise it will." Lyra patted my head and settled herself next to me.

"I'm sorry, I'm not as st-st-strong as I pretend to be Lyra, and I'm worried that I've lost my best friend because of my stupidity." I couldn't hold back the tears any more, as thoughts swirled through my mind. "I can't stand it, so please stay with me."

"You'll be ok, Lucy." Her sweet voice eased my nerves if only a little. "I won't leave you alone, none of us will leave you alone."

She played a soft tune on her harp, as she leaned against me. The words she sang were meant to calm my turbulent thoughts, to bring me to a calm and peaceful state of mind. I was starting to feel drowsy now, my eye lids heavy as I let her melody lull me off to sleep.

_Natsu...  
><em>


	6. Moving Forward

**Thank you all for the positive reviews on chapter 5! I'm glad you are enjoying the story. :) Fair waring, you may not like this chapter, but it needs to be done... XD  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>I was walking through the darkness, no sound echoed as I made my way aimlessly searching the ever expanding abyss. After a long time I finally heard sound coming from somewhere in the distance, so I picked up the pace, racing towards it. A light came into view after a few minutes and I raced towards it.<em>

_Suddenly I was in the palace once again, standing next to the tall men with glowing red eyes. I was frozen in my place watching as the events of my past played out. Natsu called out my name, and I could see the realization on my own face that the dagger was aimed for my heart._

_I fell to my knees, tears spilling over my cheeks. I watched as the scene in front of me played out, the shadow dagger flying through the air. Screams echoed off the walls as the blade made impact, and the future version of me fell to the floor bleeding from the chest. I watched as my past and future selves conversed. A smile came to her lips while the tears fell, telling the past Lucy that it was to protect the future. She struggled to tell them all how happy she was to see them again, one last time before she closed her eyes._

_Her arm fell limp to her side, and I cried out, trying to run across the space between us._

_The scene faded into blackness, and when I opened my eyes again the scene before me made bile roll up my throat. Future Lucy's memories, I was trapped in them again.  
><em>

_I watched as dragons took everything that I held dear to me, destroying any hope of a future for me or anyone else in this world. _

_Bodies were thrown about me like rag dolls, blood staining the rubble laying all around me. Fairy Tail's mages had been scattered, some in pieces over the battle field, along with our allies. I took a good look at myself, and realized that I had been hit as well._

_My arm was heavily damaged, my dominant hand missing. The proof that I belonged to my crazy family was no longer there. My heart clenched in agony as I spotted the missing appendage a few feet away. The sorrow and fear crushed me as I realized that I was completely surrounded by the dragons again._

_I could no longer defend myself since my keys had been ripped from me in the last attack. I was so helpless, all I could do was whimper Natsu's name, hoping he was still alive. _

_It was going to end for me, and he was the last thing that I would think of. It was ridiculous to be worry about anyone else in this situation, but I found that I was never rational where he was concerned.  
><em>

_I became a phantom once again, hoovering over the scene as the attack struck breaking apart the ground where I had been sitting. When the smoke cleared, he was there, Natsu stood between me and danger just like he always had. _

_I watched as the wounded Lucy reached out with her good hand, calling him back. _

_He fought as though he wasn't tired, as though this wasn't his last battle. Giving everything he had to protect the now defenseless girl who was bleeding out on the rubble behind him. I wanted to bring him back, to save him, but I was frozen, my voice dieing in my throat._

_He took another bad hit, but stood back up to fight once more, he headed straight to his own death, going down in a blaze of glory befitting the man who would never surrender. _

"_Natsu!"_

Fat tears were falling from my closed eyes as I whimpered his name over and over again. I didn't have a sense of where I was anymore, or what was going to happen next. I didn't want to see anymore; I didn't want to feel this pain again. My heart pounded in my ears painfully as my breath hitched. I couldn't get enough oxygen into my lungs through my sobs.

"Is she ok?"

"Its just a nightmare, she'll calm down soon. Go back to sleep."

I could hear voices near me, and my heart nearly stopped, _no more please, I don't want to see any more. _Words began to flow from my mouth, broken and rasping in my own ears. I didn't listen to the words that came, only wanting the nightmare to leave. I feared opening my eyes, unsure of what other horrors laid in the black abyss of my nightmares.

I felt the room shifting, my body suddenly wrapped in a comforting warmth. I leaned into it, unsure of why I felt the sudden need to be closer. Something wrapped around me even tighter, and my senses were flooded with a scent I was unfamiliar with. I took a sharp breath, surprised at the feeling of arms being wrapped tightly around my shoulders, and what I assumed was a hand gliding through my hair slowly.

"You aren't alone."

My arms moved on their own, wrapping around whomever it was that was attempting to comfort me. I rested my head on a broad firm chest and sighed. The steady pounding fought against my heart's frantic beat, somehow calming it into it's own steady rhythm. I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew that in the moment it was exactly what I needed.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"I honestly don't know."

There was a long silence, filled only by my ragged breathing and the sounds of my quieting sobs.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone look so broken."

"She'll get past this eventually, she's tougher than they give her credit for."

The soft stroking of my hair slowed nearly to a stop as my breathing finally became even, with the exception of a few sobs here and there.

"We're going to Magnolia aren't we?"

"Yes, I will meet you there."

"Master isn't going to like this."

"Right now, I don't care what he thinks."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

The air around me became silent, the pressure around my shoulders tightening. A fresh wave of the unfamiliar scent assaulted my nose, calming the last of my terror. I finally felt safe enough to let the darkness take me again.

"I don't."

.

.

.

.

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun was shining in my face, alerting me to the time. My body was tucked tightly under the covers of my futon, my pillow still wet from all the tears. I could feel the aftermath of my nightmare as my head pounded, the feeling of dried tears making me feel slightly embarrassed.

My eyes closed again, remembering that I wasn't alone in this room through the night. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment, knowing that my two companions had definitely witnessed one of my weakest moments. I wanted to curl into a ball and just vanish, thinking about the looks my companions would have on their faces when I was brave enough to peek my head out from under the blanket (which I had pulled up to hide from the bright sun).

There was nothing I could do about it now, no matter how mortified I felt, so I resolved to play it off like I didn't remember a thing. I pushed back all the feelings that needed to be bottled up again, and pulled the blanket down.

"Are you awake now?" The soft voice came from right above me, and I opened my eyes to see Yukino's smiling face.

"Is it morning already?" I replied groggily, I added a yawn for good measure. _So far, so good._

"You're so lazy, it's almost noon!" She covered her mouth as she laughed. I felt a sting in my gut, as I realized my nightmares hadn't returned after I had been wrapped in that unfamiliar presence. I had actually sleep in peace, barley remembering if I had dreamed anything at all. "Come on, I want to go shopping!"

Suddenly I felt a rush of graitude that she wasn't mentioning what had happened the previous night, she must have known that talking about it would make me feel even worse.

"Shopping? That sounds like the best idea I've heard in ages!" I moved to get my bags, when she place a hand on my shoulder.

"You may want to take a minute, the desk clerk brought up some mail for you just a bit ago." She laughed at my gaping mouth when I spotted the pile of letters with my name on the cover.

"What the hell are these?" My mind was blown as I started opening them.

"My guess is that your absence sparked a little worry, I can't say I blame them." She gave me a small shrug before going back to reading a copy of Sorcerer's weekly that was laying beside the bed I had been sleeping in.

I quickly read through the whole pile, saving the one with Erza's tidy script for last. They were filled with worried questions, and hopes for me to return soon, and safely.

_Lucy,_

_I'm not sure what's been going on the past few weeks, but I know that running off to be alone isn't the answer. Come home and we'll work through this, together. Cana won't tell anyone why you stayed behind, but if you are as beat up as she is then I want you home, now. I will see you tonight or I will come to Hosenka and drag you back.  
><em>

_Erza_

"I've got to go back to Magnolia, I really don't think it's a good idea to piss Erza off more." I stashed the rest of the letters in my bag taking out a change of clothes for the day. "How bout we do our shopping there, you can stay at my place if you want."

Something dark passed over her face so quickly that I almost missed it, her eyes flashing with something I had never seen before. It was only a moment, I thought maybe I was seeing things.

"I guess that can't be helped." She tried to make it look like she was displeased with the article she was reading, but I could tell it was something else.

"Is everything ok?"

"Of course, it'll be just us girls, we'll have loads of fun." She wouldn't meet my eyes as she spoke, bitterness creeping into her voice.

"What do you mean just the two of us?" I took a moment to look around and realized there was something missing. There was no trace of the dark haired Sabertooth mage, even his bed was already put away. "Where's Rogue?" She visibly flinched, her cheeks slowly becoming a deeper shade of red.

"Something came up, he said he'll meet up with us when he's done."

I wanted to press further, but that look crossed her face again, killing the words in my throat. She went about cleaning up the room as I got my things to head to the bath. I tried not to think to deeply about what was going on as I washed the remnants of tears from my face and hair. I pondered the different reasons my friend might have a look like that on her face as I rinsed and got dressed in my normal clothing. Nothing came to mind, since I couldn't place the emotions behind her eyes.

.

.

.

I made my way back to the room slightly distracted by my train of thought. I stopped just outside the door as Yukino's voice brought me back.

"I know I shouldn't ... but seeing that look on his face... how could he possibly... it just isn't fair." She was talking to herself, I peaked into the room, and saw her perched on the window ledge. Her brow was drawn together in frustration, a small pout on her lips. I wanted to know what she was talking about, but I knew that it was inappropriate to ask.

I pulled back from the door and made a big deal of my entrance, giving a loud yawn and a deep sigh as I walked past the threshold. She turned to look at me, the glint passing through her eyes again. If I didn't know better I'd say it was a normal version of the look Juvia gave me anytime I got to close to Gray, but that was impossible. Yukino and I had no common ground where men were concerned, we didn't really even know the same people. I shook my head with a small laugh, brushing the idea away as absolutely ridiculous.

"If we hurry we might be able to catch the next train. I'll pay my rent, and give Erza a quick visit, then we can go shopping!" I shouldered my pack, and moved to loop my arm through Yukino's. This seemed to snap her out of whatever mood she had been in. "There is a pair of boot I've been needed for ages!" She laughed at my exaggeration, and I knew I was making progress.

We checked out, and I covered the tab, with Yukino protesting that we should split the bill. I laughed it off and made my way to the train station, picking up a few snacks from the booths of the festival as we made our way across town. I wasn't looking forward to the conversation I was about to have with Erza, but I knew that I couldn't avoid it either.

The ride back to Magnolia was quiet as I sat reading my book, and Yukino scanned through her copy of Sorcerer's Weekly. I tried my best to avoid thinking of all the ways Erza might punish me when I gave her my explanation of why I was leaving the team. I was aware that some people called us Team Natsu, but in reality it was Erza who lead our group. I took a deep breath before marking my page. The train pulled to a stop a moment later, the call for Magnolia station coming from the conductor.

Yukino and I chatted about the issue she had been reading over as we walked down the streets of the city, occasionally stopping to say hello the the merchants along the canal as they called to me. Too quickly I found myself in front of the doors to the Guild hall, having slipped an envelope of money and a note into my land lady's mail slot on the way.

"You can do it, just take a deep breath." Yukino was back to her absolutely cheerful self, her bright smile making me feel at ease.

"I'm back everyone!" I called as I pushed the doors open; I made it two steps before I was tackled to the ground by a blue blur.

"LU-CHAN!" Levy was crying heavily into my chest, refusing to relinquish her grip on my back. "We were so worried!" I patted her head with a soft chuckle, hiding my discomfort as her arm rubbed against the bruise on my side.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." I assured, giving my best smile as she pulled away to look at me.

"You look like crap Bunny girl." Gajeel had come to my rescue, pulling the now squirming Levy off of me.

"I told you she got beat up, what did you expect her to look like?" Cana growled from the bar, her arms were pinned to her sides, tied in one of Mira's 'special knots' so that she couldn't get away.

"You mean these?" I pointed down to my bruised ribs and leg with a smile. "I've had worse." Gajeel just shook his head with a deep chuckle and patted my shoulder.

"Good to have you back to normal." He said it so that only I could hear, and I was thankful to him for it. I nodded, silently letting him know that I wouldn't be worrying Levy so much anymore.

"LUCY!" I froze when the voice reached me, a small startled sound leaving my lips. Before I could move, Erza had me up on my feet and in a bone crushing hug.

"E-Erza that hurts." It came out as a squeak. Immediately she let me go, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment as she made a quick assessment of my injuries.

"You **will** tell me everything that has been going on, **now**." I gulped as she dragged me across the hall to sit on the seat next to Cana. We exchanged worried glances for a moment and I mouthed 'I'm sorry.' to the card mage.

"Erza, I've missed you." I gave her a soft smile and a pat on the shoulder, in an attempt to soften the blow. "I know you want me to tell you everything, but I don't think I can. You see it's rather complicated." She gave me a glare, the kind that made the strongest of men quake in their boots. I sighed, looking back at my hands. "Erza, I messed up. I messed up so bad that I can't see a way to fix it. So I'm going to take responsibility for my actions. What I mean is, well I'm going to be working alone from now on." My sudden declaration caught her off guard, leaving Erza slack jaw as she stared at me.

"Lucy you don't need to do this, Natsu will be back in a few days I promise. You'll work out what ever the problem is and then go back to taking jobs and having fun." Mira was only trying to make me feel better, as she smiled at me softly from behind the bar, but it was no use. Her dreams of a day were Natsu and I were the perfect couple needed to come to an end.

"He may come back, but that won't change anything. Natsu made himself very clear, and I've been doing nothing but soul searching since then." Our eyes met and she could see that I was serious; I had accepted Natsu's answer, and now they needed to respect my decision. "Natsu and I aren't going to take jobs together anymore, because I don't want to be his partner." I could feel the eyes of my guild mates on my back, waiting for me to tell them that this was some elaborate joke. I was sure that someone was going to comment about it soon, so I waited quietly.

"LLUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" The cat wailed as he knocked me off my seat, he must have come in through the window. "You have to help Natsu, we were attacked!" He cried, fat tears soaking my already damp top.

I was about to move when said idiot was thrown through the doors, landing in a heap two feet from me. I could see that he was already injured badly, his left eye swollen and black.

"You will do as I say, or I'll find a way to force you." A deep commanding voice floated in the air, my eyes grew wide as I recognized it. I turned to Yukino who looked just as shocked as I felt.

"You have nothing to do with this, so piss off!" Natsu shoot to his feet, flames licking his hands as he got ready to fight back.

"You're right, I have nothing to do with this." He walked into the guild with a quiet sense of fury as the shadows swirled around his lower body. "But she does." He pointed in my direction, his deep red eyes locking with mine. "Now explain your self."

I sat there motionless, fitting the puzzle pieces together slowly as I watched the two men stalk towards each other.

"You have some nerve telling me what to do." Natsu growled.

"What did she do to deserve that?" Rogue growled back.

I took a deep breath, pushing myself up from my seat and walking right into the heart of the fray. Their fist stopped in mid air as I stood between them, holding back tears.

"Stop it." I smiled at Rogue trying to choke back the pain from my voice. "You don't need to defend my honor, this is my fight, not yours." I watched as he took a step back, folding his arms over his chest. I was happy that he wanted to defend me, but this wasn't the right way.

"I don't need an explanation, or an apology. You've made yourself clear, and I'll respect that." I tired not to look him in the eye as I spoke, afraid that I'd lose my nerve.

Natsu didn't move, but he let his flames die out.

"We are going to pretend nothing happened, and move past this."

He just stood there, eyes narrowed at me like I had done something terrible to him. I suppose I had, the confession and kiss had ruined our friendship beyond repair it seemed. Fine, if that's how it needed to be then I would accept it and move on.

I just wanted to finished my business with Erza and go shopping.

SLAP

The whole room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"You are the worst sort of coward, Natsu Dragneel." Yukino was by my side gritting her teeth, her hand still hoovering in the air. "Never in a million years could I have imagined how much I despise you right now." She was breathing hard.

"Yukino, don't." I tried to calm her, but she kept going.

"Stop hiding it Lucy-sama! I know this is killing you, you're shaking like a leaf for crying out loud." I hadn't noticed, but I was in fact shaking, with the overwhelming emotions swirling inside me.

"It's ok Yukino, I'll be fine."

SLAP

This time it was Cana who was in front of me, free from her bindings at last.

"You'll pay for her suffering, her nightmares, and her tears whether she wants you to or not." She was going to hit him again, but I got in front of her, crying out as she made impact with the injured portion of my side. "Lucy, your ribs." Her eyes went wide as she heard the cracking.

"T-t-that enough." The area started to throb, and my breaths started to come in short spurts. "He... isn't... worth... it."

I swayed on my feet, the pain making my sight go white. I felt myself falling, but the pain was so intense that I lost my grip on reality.

.

.

.

"She took a really bad hit when the monster materialized, I couldn't get to her quick enough." That was Cana's voice.

"What the hell was she thinking?" That was Gray.

"She was focused on proving to herself that she can survive without that pin head." Cana scolded, I was sure she had smacked him upside the head.

"She's still weak from the drain on her magic, that's probably why she took that hit so badly." Yukino added.

"Shh, you're waking her up."

My side was throbbing so badly I had a hard time focusing on the voices in the background. The events rushed back to me painfully, and I winced as my fingers ran up to trace my bruised side. I hissed when I felt the separation in the bone.

"Lucy-sama." I looked around letting my eyes adjust. "Cana explained what happened to everyone, so you don't need to talk about it again." I was grateful for that small amount of comfort. I pulled myself up slowly, realizing we were in the infirmary at the back of the guild.

My head was finally clearing and I took the time to study myself.

"Thank you." I looked up at her with a smile, letting the relief I felt shine through. "I wasn't sure I could say it again without being drunk."

"Lu-chan, you should have told me what was going on." Levy moved forward gaining my attention. "I would have had Gajeel beat him up sooner!" I couldn't help but laugh at the way she had whined like a child. It hurt so I stopped, taking a moment to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry Levy-chan, my judgement was clouded at the time."

"Erza isn't happy either." Levy added sadly. "I can't believe all that happened I didn't suspect a thing."

"He handled it poorly Levy, that's all. I've made my peace now." I gave her the same relieved smile that I had directed at Yukino. "I just want to move forward now."

"If that's true then why are you crying again?" I turned my head to see the dark haired man sitting at the foot of the bed, polishing his sword to entertain himself, but he had stopped to look at me. I reached my hand up to check if I was, and I felt the steady stream falling into my lap.

"I don't know..."

There was a long moment of silence as the others in the room looked back and forth between us, unsure of what was he was implying. He looked like he wanted to say something, and for some reason I was eager to hear what it might be.

"It's good to she you awake." Erza was at the door, waiting for my permission to enter.

"Hey, Erza." I wasn't sure what else to say, now that everything was out in the open.

"You don't need to leave the team, we'll kick the flame brain off instead." Gray insisted as Erza came to stand behind him. I smiled at his willingness to stick around but I knew it wasn't the best way for me to move on.

"I'm sure you would, but I don't want that. I'm going to be fine, and working by myself will allow me to make sure I can pay my rent on time." Teasing him would let him see that I really was ok. He understood my meaning right away, and patted my head gently.

"I wish you would have confided in us earlier Lucy, maybe we could have spared you some of your discomfort." Erza leaned heavily on the back of the chair.

"I guess I've never been good at sharing the burden, have I?" I shifted, throwing my legs over the side of my bed. "I've learned a valuable lesson, and I won't make this mistake again." I grabbed my bag from the corner ready to head out again, knowing that if I stayed the pain in my chest might return. I was reaching for the knob when it opened towards me.

"Lucy-san why are you moving around?" Wendy had her most serious face on, as she panted. "I came as fast as I could, your injuries need attention." I was about to protest, but four sets of hands dragged me back to the bed. "Can you all step outside, this may take some time."

"Wendy you really don't..." I trailed off at the look on her face.

"I can see that you have a broken rib just by the way you are breathing, now sit and let me work." I kept silent, realizing that my complaint would fall on deaf ears. "You don't deserve to be in this much pain."

We fell into a comfortable silence as she worked. She took her time making sure that she had fixed everything.

"Two broken ribs, and your cheek had a hair line fracture." She shook her head at me sadly. "Please don't do this again, I hate to see you in this much pain." The girl warped her arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I slowly patted her head, feeling better now that I could breath properly.

"I couldn't stand by and let Cana hurt her friend, no matter what he did to me." I tried to smile, but it wasn't happening. "I don't want to be the reason he gets hurt anymore. So we're going to let this go."

She pulled back with wide eyes. "I don't understand how you can forgive him so easily."

"I never said I forgive him, there's a part of my that will always distrust him now. Even if that is the case I still can't make myself stop loving him." I looked away, feeling the tears coming to the surface again. "I just have to do what's best for me, and that is to put it all behind me."

"I don't think I could do that." Wendy confided.

"I'm not sure if I can either, but I've got to try. After all I can't force someone to return my feeling just so we can be together. That wouldn't make anyone happy." Wendy nodded agreeing with my assessment of the situation.

"You can go now if you want. You won't run into his out there, he was gone when I got here." She let me go, getting up to open the door, revealing five extremely red faced and one annoyed mage in the door way. "Eavesdropping isn't nice." Wendy clicked her tongue as she passed them.

Levy must have taken that as an invitation to run back to my side. "You look all better!"

"I say we go on that shopping spree now." Yukino added as she went to grab my arm.

"I second that!" Erza was still by the door, a look of pride across her face. "I'll treat for dessert after we're done."

"You're going to make me come and carry things aren't you?" Gray groaned.

"Of course I am." Erza patted his shoulder a little to hard.

"Then Juvia will be coming as well!" The blue haired woman popped up behind Erza glaring daggers at me, and mouthing 'Love rival'.

"We'd be happy to have you come along." I couldn't stop the nervous laugh that bubbled up. "I guess it's decided then."


	7. Family takes care of their own!

**Thank you for the reviews! As I've said before, I will not be announcing any official pairing for this fic, because that takes all the surprise out of it. I will however take your feelings into consideration. Oh and Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate! I'm off to make my Turkey now!**

* * *

><p>Afternoon had fallen over Magnolia's shopping district, our gang filling the air with the sounds of laughter and charging the atmosphere with our excitement. Half of the guild was out and about, enjoying one of the last nice days of fall. My group tried to stay together for a while, as we browsed through the open air market place, but everyone had their own agendas. Soon I lost sight of Levy and Gajeel when we passed her favorite book store. Lisanna and Evergreen were dragged off next, by Elfman. Laki and Kinana ducked into the magic store, an excited look on both of their faces shortly after. Erza moved on ahead dragging Gray by the ear, Juvia of course was not far behind.<p>

This left Cana, Wendy, Charla and our two Sabertooth guests in my care. We maneuvered in and out of stores as well as stopping by merchant carts to see what they had available. I picked up a few trinkets for myself, such as new ribbons, or a replacement set of shoe laces, trying my best not to over spend in anticipation of my long desired shoe purchase.

"Lucy, you need to see this!" Cana called from a traveling merchant's booth near the canal. I laughed at her eagerness and made my way through the crowd. "It's like it was made for you!"

In her hands was a thin metal chain, strung with the golden symbols of the twelve Zodiac spirits. I smiled at my friend as I took the necklace from her.

"It is stunning." I laid it against my chest, marveling at how it looked against my pale skin. "The craftsmanship is on par with the best." The metal was high quality, yet light. I pulled the piece back to inspect it closer, marveling at the way the bobble sparkled in the bright afternoon sun. I replaced the necklace on it's velvet cushion and found that he had made it a full set, with two bracelets and two anklets. I struck up a conversation with the middle aged man who was selling them, intent on finding out more. He informed me of everything from his smelting process all the way to the fact that it had taken him two weeks to finish the engravings. He admitted that he had made it with me in mind, bashfully telling me he was a fan of mine.

I was surprised, by his admission and slightly embarrassed as he asked me to sign a copy of Sorcerer's Weekly for him. My mind was made that this man deserved to have the items purchased by their inspiration, especially since Celestial Mages had become so rare over the last couple of years. As far as I knew, Yukino and I were the only ones who were still active. It made perfect sense since we held the full Zodiac between the two of us.

A smile crept over my face slowly as I turned to my other companions. "Yukino, come here." I didn't give her a chance to ask what I was doing as I grabbed her wrist and wrapped the delicate jewelry around it.

Her eyes sparkled as she inspected it, admiring the detail of the different symbols that were engraved in gold. I wrapped the other around my own wrist, and paid the vendor with a warm smile. He and I had struck a rather nice bargain; I almost had to force him to take the money because he was just so happy that I was willing to purchase the items.

"It's a gift."

I started walking away from the stall and back into the crowd, humming happily as the metal jingled in time with my keys.

"I can't accept something like this, Lucy-sama." She protested as she followed me down the street.

"Yes you can." She opened her mouth again to protest but I continued. "We are friends, remember? This is my way of thanking you for being there for me when I needed you." I patted her on the head. "Now wear it proudly, or I'll be sad."

This effectively stopped her from fighting back. I laughed lightly at the pout on her face before speeding up to catch up to the others. Erza was sure to have found a few new outfits by this point, so I needed to hurry or she might get to my desired boots before I could.

When we reached the store front, Gray was standing outside. His arms were already piled high with bag and boxes, Cana was quick to start poking fun at his lack of a backbone where Erza was concerned.

"You're so whipped." She sang as she danced around him.

"This is self preservation thank you. Only an idiot with a death wish tells Erza no." He turned white, obviously remembering the last time he tried just that. "I'd much rather live to see another day, it's worth the dent to my pride."

"Why is Gray-sama friends with so many women?" Juvia whined from the side of the store, peering at Gray from the distance.

"That's a good question, Juvia. Why **are** you such a lady's man, Gray?" I giggled moving past him into the shop. I could hear him cursing me from the door as Juvia started her yundere tirade; I of course ignored them. My mind was on more important things. Finally, I would acquire that long desired pair of boots; I felt giddy just thinking about the high quality leather, and shining silver buckles.

_There they are! _I knew my squeal of joy was unladylike but I didn't care. _There's a p__rice cut too!_

"Excuse me Miss, do you have these in a size seven?" The attendant made her way to the back room, and I waited fidgeting with excitement. This was the one thing that I had been looking forward to, my reward for taking care of my responsibilities with my own two hands.

When she came back, her head shook from side to side. "I'm sorry, we seem to have sold the last pair earlier." I felt my face fall, the fight going right out of me.

"Thank you for looking, sorry for the trouble."

I dragged my feet as I left the store, ignoring Gray and Cana's calls as I walked to the edge of the canal. I knew it was just a pair of shoes, but I felt like it was connected to all the other bad things that had been happening to me lately.

_Maybe my luck has finally run dry. What next, is my apartment going to burn down?_

Two deep breaths were enough to settle my depressing thoughts. I pushed every negative emotion I had into a little box and stored it away. No more weakness, there was no room for it in my life now. I spun on my heel when Cana and Yukino came up to me. Yukino gave me a sidelong glance, as if she wasn't sure what I would do next, while Cana simply put an arm around my shoulders.

I needed to keep my composure for their sake, as well as my own, so I put on a smile.

"Change of plans, the boots are gone."

"Do you really need another pair?" Cana teased lightly her arm tightening around my shoulder.

"I really liked them though." I pouted playfully before laughing it off. "Can't be helped, lets shop somewhere else."

The three of us walked together laughing and enjoying the cool chill in the air, Rogue trailing behind looking as though he might die of boredom. I was calm and cheerful, smiling and laughing with my friends. It was almost like nothing had happened, like my life was back to normal.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I really would be ok.

* * *

><p>Two hours later I purchased a fair bit more than I had originally planned. The sales were incredible, and I just couldn't stop myself. It was so much fun I almost didn't want to go to the park to meet up with the rest of the gang. Cana however, made sure that I remembered just how much Erza would be displeased with me if I didn't show. So we made our way to Magnolia park, our arms filled with bags all three of us smiling like idiots.<p>

Levy had finally caught up about ten minutes after we arrived, cradling a new book in her arms with a bright smile. She had allowed Gajeel to head back to the Guild, since he had no interest in sweets. Lisanna came next, sporting the cutest winter hat, and a new pair of sneakers. She informed us that Evergreen had business with the rest of her team, and Elfman had errands to run for Mira. Erza was last, having bought half the boutique, (Gray was forced to have Juvia help him carry part of the load) with Wendy who had only allowed herself to purchase new hair accessories and a new dress for Carla.

We chatted happily at the meeting place, until the designated time when we would head to Erza's favorite sweet shop.

"Strawberry cake for everyone!" Erza beamed at the shop keeper. "One slice for my friends, and two for me." Yukino found herself laughing at Erza's antics as we slid into our seats. It was rare for Erza to act like this outside of the Guild so I could see why she was amused. Erza was always so strong and fierce it was hard to imagine her as a normal girl.

"All hail Erza and her bountiful Strawberry cakes!" I cried when a piece was set in front of me. "May they be spongy and delicious!"

The girls (and one of the two men) laughed at my declaration and cheered back. "Aye!"

"So now that we are all settled," Cana turned her attention back to me, making me feel very uncomfortable. "You are not going solo; I told you that I'd help you find a better way to get over this."

"I am aware that you want to fix it for me, but you can't." I took a bit of cake to allow myself time to think of how best to phrase it. "When I left my Father's home, all I wanted was to be free, to have a future where every door was open to me. All I want is to be that independent person again."

"Working on a team won't take away your independence." Cana rubbed at her temples, she was fighting a losing battle, and she knew it.

"It's deeper than that."

"You could always join Team Shadow Gear. I'm sure Jet and Droy wouldn't mind." Levy pointed her fork at me as she spoke. "We don't do super dangerous missions unless we bring Gajeel and Lily with."

"I love you dearly, but I'm not right for your team."

"My offer still stands; we keep Team Natsu without the Natsu." Gray shrugged. "Who needs that squinty eyed fire breather around anyway?"

I couldn't help but laugh, until I looked over at Juvia who was not pleased with the idea of Gray running around with two women who weren't her. I swallowed a piece of cake and turned to the half-naked ice mage with an evil grin.

"I have a better idea, why don't you and Juvia just make your _team_ official." He paled at the thought. He decided to keep out of our conversation, turning instead to the only other male in the room, in an attempt to save face. I turned back to Juvia and gave her the thumbs up before going back into my cake. Her cheeks had turned bright red, her eyes glassy from the daydream she was now completely absorbed in. Exactly as I had planned.

"Working alone isn't always fun." Wendy added her comment in. "That's why I come with you guys most of the time."

"It's work, and most of the time I'm trying not to get killed with our team. I'm not saying I'm a weak mage, but compared to Erza I'm mediocre at best. And when it's just Natsu and Happy coming with, something always happens so that we don't get paid." I forced my body to relax; so that no one would notice just how much saying his name bothered me. "Working alone will be good for me."

"You were so good for that idiot. Choosing you as his partner was probably one of the smartest decisions he ever made." Lisanna was smiling at me. "He'll never be able to find someone who can put up with him as well as you did."

"Yeah Lucy, if you weren't so set on going it alone I'd totally keep you on as my partner." Cana held up her flask with a smile. "I mean come on, you forced yourself to learn disenchantments to improve your versatility, who does that?"

"I'm not nearly as good as Freed or Levy."

"You're smart and you can keep up with a rowdy crowd like us, who wouldn't want you?" They were all smiling at me now, and I felt the warmth of their affections fill me.

"You guys sure know how to make a girl feel special don't you." I couldn't keep the smile from taking over my own face.

"Lucy-sama is being so modest." Yukino patted my hand.

We all laughed again, Erza digging into a third slice of cake.

"Hey I meant to ask earlier, before everything got all crazy. What did you three end up doing after I left the bar last night?" Cana was always good at changing the topic, thank goodness.

"We checked out the karaoke bar." Yukino answered before I could.

"It was a blast actually, I ended up enjoying it more than I thought I would." I was being completely sincere, Yukino and I had a great time. "The food was good too."

"Maybe we should do something like that again." Yukino looked so excited about the idea of making fools of ourselves that I had to laugh.

"Count me out." We both turned to Rogue with a pout. "Take Rufus next time."

"You're no fun at all." Yukino gave him puppy eyes, like that was going to change his mind.

"Absolutely not." He turned back to focus on a magazine Gray had slipped to him.

"We don't have to go anywhere for that, the Guild hall has everything we need." Levy propped her chin on her fist intent on going through with the plan.

"Or we could try the club that opened up on the west side of town." Cana put the idea out there. "The night is young, we could go when we are done here."

"Juvia has never been to a club before." She finally snapped out of her day dreaming.

"I heard they have live bands, it sounds interesting." Lisanna was getting excited as well.

"Ok we'll take a vote then." Erza, always the diplomat.

"I vote club!" Gray called with an evil grin. "Anything is better than Gajeel's singing, and if we try that at the Guild he will sing."

"Juvia agrees with Gray-sama!"

"I vote club too, I need some fresh meat." Cana gave me an evil smirk and a wink.

"I want to check the club out, it sounds different." Levy gave me a small smile like she was apologizing for something.

"I'm all for the club." Lisanna cheered.

"I don't care either way." Erza turned her attention to the last three adults.

"I'll go so long as you bring Lucy-sama." Yukino was such a little trader.

"I'm too young to go aren't I?" Wendy focused on the table, taking her last bite of cake.

"I wouldn't let you go even if you were old enough." Carla the voice of reason as always.

"I have no objection." I turned my head, not expecting Rogue to agree. He was still reading, acting as if nothing in the world phased him.

"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Cana chuckled and leaned over to whisper something in Erza's ear. I could feel the chill run up my spine as they looked back at me; that look meant doom. "Fine, we'll check out the club. You'd probably drag me there anyway."

"Damn straight." Cana took a swig of her canteen, before cracking her knuckles. "You need an ego boost girly, and we're gonna make sure you get it."

Half an hour later I was sitting on my bed, as Cancer worked on my hair. Erza and Cana had made me wash first then took turns making sure I didn't escape as they showered. Yukino looked sympathetic as she tugged on one of my less revealing outfits.

Lisanna had taken the liberty of raiding my closet for everyone except Erza. It was nice that we all had similar body types, but I was afraid that Yukino might stretch my blouse a little to much.

"Are you sure this is appropriate?" I twisted in the mirror, as Cancer moved on to the next girl. "I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb."

It was a dress I had never had the occasion to wear, I didn't really even remember buying the little black number at all. The whole garment hugged my curves in just the right way, the silk of the the under skirt felt like a second skin. I loved the way the sheer over coat shimmered like stars on an inky blue back ground. The pin keeping it all together was a gold star, positioned just under my bust line.

My hair hung down around my shoulders for the most part, with a small mass of curls secured with bobby-pins on top of my head. Cancer had even added small gems so that I sparkled even more.

I liked it, but thought it might be a bit much for a club.

"Calm down and enjoy this." All of a sudden Cana was far scarier than Erza had ever been.

"You're planning something aren't you?" She rolled her eyes at my question, and handed me a pair of silver dangling stars to replace my normal heart earrings.

It wasn't like I could get out of it now, not when Erza had pulled out her favorite casino gown. I sighed, resigning myself to the idea that it was going to be a very long night.

"Alright, everyone is dressed, so lets head to the guild. I'm sure Juvia and Levy should be there by now." Erza grabbed my arm, intent on dragging me along.

This was not how I expected to spend my night, but I couldn't be angry when my friends were trying so hard to take my mind off of everything else.

* * *

><p>When we made it to the guild, I was pushed through the doors tripping over the heel of my shoe. I was ready for the fall but I ran into a very startled Freed instead.<p>

"Miss. Lucy, are you alright?" His cheeks were burning as he pulled his face off of my chest.

"Yes, I'm fine." I smiled at him before letting go of the arm that propped me up. "Thanks for the save."

I watched as he excused himself, practically running to the second floor. Cana wrapped her arm around my shoulder, humming proudly.

"Poor Freed, looks like he might have a nose bleed." Cana sang in my ear.

"You're evil." I hissed at her, knowing full well she had pushed me on purpose. I noted the heads turning in our direction, but tried my best to ignore everyone other than my close friends.

"You know it! Now, let's get the pregame on, I could use a drink. How about you Erza?" The red head on my other side nodded her two women picked me up carrying me to the bar, my feet dragging across the floor.

"What, Erza!?" I hadn't pegged her for a traitor.

"Mira, we need some drinks over here!" Erza called over the bar. My girlfriends filed in around me, and Mira gave a grin that told me she was in on it now.

"Don't go easy on her either Mira-Nii."

"Come on guys, I don't want to be drunk." I turned in the chair ready to plead my case, but realized quickly that I was fighting a losing battle.

"Drink." It was a command, not a suggestion, and I wasn't brave enough to tell Erza no tonight.

"Why are we drinking before the club?" Yukino tried to whisper from two seats down, a shot glass of her own pressed to her lips.

"Because we can?" Levy giggled at the look of disbelief on Yukino's face. "Don't worry, we're all pretty happy drunks, Lucy even gets flirty from time to time."

I rolled my eyes; this was the stupidest plan ever. Drinking wasn't going to solve my problem, and I would be damned if I kept silent about my dislike of their plan.

"There are better ways to go about this." I hissed. "Healthier ways."

"Yeah there are, but this is going to be more fun." Lisanna leaned against the bar placing her empty glass down as she spoke. "Family takes care of their own, we want to help you. If we all have to get trashed in the process, then so be it."

"Are you all conspiring against me then?" I looked around, they were all nodding. "You are all evil." I took a deep breath and took the bottle from Mira's hand. "Fine, but I'm doing this my way." Cana cheered as I drank, emptying the rest of the bottle.

"You didn't have to drink the whole thing." Levy teased.

"I wanted to." I gave her a lopsided grin. "Mira can I have another."

"That's my girl!" Cana patted my back proudly. "Keep this up and one day we could have a real contest."

We both settled in as Mira gave us our next round.

"I doubt that, drinking half as much as you would kill a normal person." She laughed again.

"You were keeping up pretty well last night. I was honestly surprised that you aren't hung over." Mira took that as a cue to fill my glass again.

"Who said I'm not?" I raised an amused eyebrow in her direction.

"Must have slept it off, she didn't get out of bed till noon." Yukino sang, tattling on me.

"Was someone having a good dream then?" Lisanna teased.

Mira was on top of everyone's drinks, making sure no one had an empty glass for long, so needless to say I was already feeling the effects. I knew I shouldn't think about the previous night, because I couldn't put up my barriers against the fear when I was tipsy.

"What, me? No, I was just tired. Um, Let's go check out this club already. I wanna see why you are so excited." I took the last shot in front of me with a sigh and slammed the empty glass on the bar. Slowly I got to my feet, fixing the hem of my dress as I spun around, and came face to face with the last person I wanted to see.

"Lucy."

I found myself holding my breath as he stood there staring at me. No one moved, and my world began to slow down around me. He opened his mouth ready to say something, but I didn't let him get a word out. My anger was burning again thanks to the alcohol rushing through my veins. I would regret it later, but my body wasn't listening anymore, the time to let him know just how much he had hurt me was here.

"Move aside." The words came out harsh and cold, and I'm sure the look on my face reflected that. "I have no desire to talk to you." He made no effort to listen to my words as his eyes traveled up and down, inspecting my outfit. It made me uncomfortable, and I didn't know why.

"Please, I just need a minute."

"I said, move." I made an attempt to side step him, but his hand shot out and grabbed at my wrist.

"Let me explain; I'll beg if I have to." I knew that if he continued, I would be dragged back in. I didn't want that; all I wanted was to walk out that door and forget all the heart ache. I had a burning to rip my hand away and slap him, but I held the impulse back.

"You could have explained weeks ago, but you didn't. You blew your chance, Natsu." I took a deep breath, steeling my nerve. "I've spent the whole time trying to rationalize it, trying to make excuses for you, but I'm done. Nothing you say can change my mind, I'm finished with what ever this was. I am absolutely finished with you."

His grasp tightened painfully around my tender skin, a glint of anger making his already deep green eyes nearly black. My hand reached for the garter on my thigh, a reflex I had developed through the years of fighting by his side, moving over to rest on my whip. I was a breath away from doing just that when the door opened. Gray was standing there with a pleased smile, Rogue by his side wearing one of Gray's more formal button down tops, and loose pants. It only took a moment before they noticed Natsu, and his grip on my arm.

"I had my reasons for doing things this way." He nearly growled it at me, making me want to step back but I held my ground, wincing as his hand began to heat up around my wrist. "Why won't you just listen?"

"There is no reason I will accept for being left in that manner!" I could feel the chill run through me of his hand start to burn me. "I said let me **GO.**" I had my whip in hand now, poised to strike.

I never got the chance, as a blur of black sent Natsu flying. Natsu must have let go to try defending himself against the blow, because I remained where I was.

Blink.

_What the hell just happened?_

"You ok Lucy?" Gray asked as he put a hand delicately around my injured wrist; I nodded to his question, not trusting my voice just yet.

"That bastard just burned you!?" My mind processed that Loki was there but it was already moving on to the next astonishing image.

Rogue had his eyes fixed on Natsu as Mira dragged his limp body out of view, fists still clenched. Cana called out that Mira should 'Drown his sorry ass in the pool' from her seat, even offering her service if necessary. My attention wasn't on my brunette friend though, as I watched the faint traces of Rogue's shadows retreating. Slowly his anger dialed back, and the calm returned to his eyes, and he turned to look at me. I had been caught staring I realized, and forced myself to focus on my other two rescuers finding my voice once more, even if it was weaker than I had hoped.

"I'm fine now, thanks for the help." I gave them a shaky smile, trying to defuse a little of the tension.

"Will you let me beat some sense into him, now?" Loki pleaded, we had been on poor terms for a while, since he disapproved of my affections for the fire mage. It had gotten so bad that we agreed that I wouldn't summon him for a while.

"Rogue took care of that." Gray gave an approving smile at the other man.

"I guess I owe you my gratitude then." Loki gave a forced smile, one that meant he was uncomfortable about something.

"No need." He put a hand on my head for the briefest of moments, with a small smile on his face. "So long as Lucy is ok that's all that matters."

I was sure my cheeks were on fire, because I felt like I was going to melt. I let the feeling wash over me, enjoying every second of it.

_He smiled at me._

"Hey, Lucy I think you can put your whip away now." Cana chuckled as she laid a hand on my shoulder. "Mira's got it under control."

"Oh, y-yeah." I quickly stored it back under the fabric of my dress, glad that I could hide my face long enough to force my blush to calm down.

"I'm proud of you." Erza was beaming as she placed her hand on my other shoulder. "That display took a lot of courage."

"He won't be bothering us again tonight." Lisanna joined the group. "He'd have to be suicidal with the Lucy protection squad on duty!."

"Don't tease her so bad Lisanna." Levy chirped happily. "That's my job!"

Somewhere off in the distance I heard a wail from Juvia, obviously displeased that Gray was still holding my wrist.

"Let's not let that bastard ruin our night." Gray offered his arm with a smile once he was satisfied with the thin ice bracelet he had made to coat my burn. "You coming Loki?"

Loki gave a grin befitting his title of womanizer, as he offered his arm on my other side. "Of course, I am."

"Right, lets go have some fun." I looped my arms through both of my friend's allowing them to steer me towards the exit.

"You look great by the way." Gray patted my hand affectionately.

"Great? My Mistress puts the stars to shame with her radiance!" Loki was posturing, knowing it would make me feel better.

I laughed, and laid my head onto Gray's shoulder whispering a thank you to the both of them. Juvia followed just behind, a menacing cloud hovering over her as she chanted 'Love Rival' over and over.

I decided to ignore her tonight.

"Don't wait up!" Loki called as Mira came back to the bar, lightly dusting off her gown.

"Take good care of our girls." She sent a smile and a wave.

"Well well, this looks promising." Levy hopped off her chair ready to catch up. "Come on Yukino, this is going to be entertaining."

The rest of the gang filed out, chasing after me, chatting happily with each other. I listened to Loki attempt to tell a joke, as we walked, laughing even though his punch line wasn't very funny. Every so often I threw a glace behind, watching my friends from Sabertooth chatting with my friends from Fairy Tail. The calm and comfortable way they were interacting was more than enough to settle the last of my nerves.

We were going to have fun tonight, and I'd make sure of it.

* * *

><p>It took a good ten minutes to reach the club's entrance, where a fairly long line had formed. The bouncer took one look at our group, before beckoning us to the front of the line. "Who would have guessed all the pretty ladies of Fairy Tail would come on the same night?" He chuckled letting us through the velvet rope.<p>

"Aren't you lucky?" I cooed as I took my escorts into the establishment, I was feeling so much better now. Levy giggled like a school girl behind me, apparently amused by my attitude.

"Our little Lucy is back." Erza declared while she patted Cana on the shoulder with a smile.

"Lucy-sama is so calm, how is that possible?" Yukino turned to Rogue who didn't seem to be interested in what she was saying, since his eyes were focused on something in the distance.

"Told ya." Levy danced around happily as we took over a large part of the V.I.P. section, secured thanks to Erza. "This is the way Lucy was when she first joined the Guild, before The Games." Levy wasn't even trying to be quiet at this point, knowing I could hear her. "It's like the heiress in her mixed with the wild child we know the result is absolutely dazzling."

"What are you talking about, I never changed?" I turned on her with a glare.

"It doesn't matter what you think, it's what we see!" Levy sang happily. "I'm so glad I got to see you tell Natsu off!"

"Yeah, you really put him in his place." Lisanna gave me a sweet smile.

"Juvia hopes Lucy can find someone else she likes. Anyone other than Gray-sama." She glared at me, though it wasn't as intense as before..

"I have do desire to be involved with him like that, no offense Gray."

"None taken." He shot me a smile, this only fueled Juvia's misplaced aggression.

Cana settled in the seat between Juvia and Gray after having placed our first set of drink orders .

"I agree with Juvia, except you need to stop looking for boy, and start browsing available men. That was your first mistake." She chuckled.

"Again, if your trying to make me feel better, it's not working." I could see the twinkle in her eyes as she leaned toward me. "What do you have planned?"

"Take a look and tell me what you think I have planned." She swept a hand to the floor, to shift my attention to the hungry eyes that were focused on our group.

"We are here to enjoy ourselves, so please refrain from fighting." Erza gave Gray a pointed look before she turned to talk to the waitstaff again.

"I'm sticking with Loki for now." I patted Gray on the back. "You go play with Juvia, she looks lonely."

"Throwing me to the wolves after I helped save your butt. You really are cruel Lucy." He whined as I kicked him the short distance to the water mage.

"Ah so I get you all to myself then?" Loki practically purred into my ear. I shivered against my will as I pushed the lion spirit away playfully.

"Not going to happen, you're a great friend and all, but I despise playboys." He was pouting at me now, one hand resting on my knee. "I know you're itching to go over there and talk to that red head." He followed my line of sight, and I could tell I was right.

"You are too damn perceptive for your own good." He teased.

"You've been watching her since we got here." I rolled my eyes at him. "Thank you for your help, you've earned a judgement free night." I gave him a sweet smile, taking my drink from the waitress with a thank you.

"If you need me, just call." I waved him off, shifting my focus to the stage.

The house lights went down, and the band came back onto the stage. As the music started to fill the air, I let myself relax. I began to lose myself in its steady rhythm, listening to the lyrics as I sipped my drink. People in the main area were dancing, letting loose as the low lights of the club changed color. The atmosphere itself was intoxicating, and I wanted more.

"Right, I'm going down, who else is coming?" Cana called to the group. I was on my feet before my mind processed what I was doing, moving over to my friend with a sense of purpose.

"I want to go." I saw my friend's brown eyes light up with excitement. "Lead the way, Cana."

We bobbed and weaved our way to the center of the crowded room, hips swaying in time with the music. I had never been allowed to dance like this when I lived with my father. Everything I did was regal and poised, that was the expectation of the Heartfilia Heiress. This was messy and playful, and in Cana's case bordering on inappropriate.

I had never allowed myself to be this free, moving in time to the music, not caring who sees. This was a feeling I had never known I was craving. It was far beyond intoxicating, I dare say I was quickly becoming addicted to it.

My mind was blank for a long time, just allowing myself to be. I ignored everything else around me, closing my eyes so I could focus solely on these feelings. I found that the ache in my heart was nothing more than a murmur.

I took a moment to look inward, to search myself for an answer as to why. It didn't take long to pin it down, it was a realization that Natsu and I were no longer right for each other, the thought that maybe we had never been right for each other.

I wanted someone who would look at me as more than just someone to protect. I wanted to be with someone who wanted to share the burden with me, not take my burden to carry as his own. I needed people to acknowledge my strengths and my weaknesses, and then embrace them along side me, especially those closest to me.

The events of the final Grand Magic Games had changed both of us, and without realizing it, we had walked down two very separate paths.

He taken two years and a letter to tell me this, that the death of my other self was what drove his actions. I knew somewhere that he hadn't meant to confuse me, that his only intent was to keep me safe. He was scared of losing someone who was so close to him again. He didn't act that way because he had special feeling for me, to him I was no different than Lisanna or Erza. I had come to terms with this after my conversation with Cana, and seeing how foolish I had been.

I was left only with my anger for how long he allowed me to believe he had interest when he held none, and for the years that I had spent in his pursuit only to have my hopes crushed in such a dramatic fashion.

Couldn't he have simply just said, "Lucy, I don't feel that way about you." Give me his goofy smile and continue "But your still my best friend!" I would have accepted that, and moved on with life. He had to make me feel like there was something wrong with me by refusing to say it to my face. He had to run away, so he didn't have to look me in the eye. I let the last remnants of anger bubble up to the surface, channeling them into singing out the lyrics of the song that was playing.

_Let it all go, so that you can move forward._

I was done grieving over the loss of my first crush, because that's all it was, a crush on a boy I admired more than I had ever anticipated.

"Cana, I understand it now." I twisted to look at my friend, ignoring the stranger who was grinding her back side. "I can move forward without a problem now." She laughed at me.

"Of course you can. You are Fairy Tail's Lucy Heartfilia, proud and strong! The devil himself can't stop you."

"Damn straight! I'm going to enjoy myself, no regrets!" I was smiling, bright and full of life.

The song ended, and a slower tempo started up in it's place. Cana took the opportunity to switch partners, unsatisfied with the last one's performance.

"I want another drink, be back soon!" I gave her a wink and made my way back to our sitting area.

"Lu-chan you are too cute." Levy's cheeks were bright red now, as she jumped up, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Why is that?" I grabbed the fresh drink from our waitress with a grateful smile.

"You had guys tapping your shoulder to dance with you, and you ignored them all." She dissolved into a fit of giggles, and I put her back in her seat. "Don't you know that means they think you're yummy?"

"I think this fairy has hit her limit." Yukino offered as she sipped her own drink, a healthy pink coating her own cheeks. "You lot really do have a high tolerance though." Her voice was steeped in wonder as I finished my drink and called for another.

"Don't you know that Fairy Tail is full of drunks and delinquents? I thought that was common knowledge!" I was sure my smile was lopsided as I took the next drink; I finished that one in a single go. "Come dance with me, Yuki-chan, you need to have more fun!"

She yelped as I pulled her up to join me.

"Do your best Lu-chan, Yuki-chan!" Levy cheered from her spot on the couch.

"Don't fall asleep Levy-chan or I'll tell Mr. I'm so Badass that you like it when he makes you dress in the bunny suit!" She laughed, leaning heavily on Rogue's side.

"I'm not a pillow." He gently pushed her back to the other side.

"Silly Lu-chan, stop teasing me or I'll tell him **you're** the one who enjoys the bunny suit!" Yukino was laughing along with her now.

"Not as much as you like it." I stuck my tongue out at her. In all honesty I was starting to worry about leaving her in that state, she could do something stupid. "You are drunk, Miss McGarden." I pointed my finger in her direction. "You're rather intimidating Teddy bear of a boyfriend would not be pleased." I scrunched my nose trying to think straight. "I would like to keep our pleasant relationship so I am sending you home!"

She made a face at me, grumbling that she wasn't that drunk. I fought to keep a straight face at her antics as I summoned Virgo.

"Don't ask for punishment, I just need you to take Levy back to the guild and hand her off to Gajeel." She agreed, throwing the very angry faced Levy over her shoulder before taking her towards the exit. "Now that we've taken care of that problem." I wrapped my hand around the dark haired Sabertooth mage's wrist and pulled him to his feet. "We can't leave Mr. Doom and Gloom all alone can we Yuki-chan?"

"Of course not!" She sang happily clapping her hands.

"What are you doing?" He wasn't exceedingly happy, and that made me frown at him. I tugged harder, wrapping his arm with my own so that he couldn't escape.

"Having fun with my friends!" I grabbed Yukino again and dragged the two with me into the fray. "It's more fun when we're all together."


	8. Addicted to this feeling

**Who is ready for some twists and turns? I really enjoyed writing this chapter, it makes me smile so much, and I hope you all enjoy reading it.**

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><p>I stumbled onto the floor, with Rogue secured to one arm, and Yukino to the other. Yukino and I laughed at my clumsiness, even getting a small chuckle from the ever quiet Rogue. I had little trouble finding Cana since she was right where I had left her, although she had a new 'dance' partner again. I released my grip on my two captives and started to let the music dictate my motions again, letting the rest of the world fall away for a moment of pure bliss.<p>

Three songs in and I was flying high as a kite, hopping around singing with the lyrics that I knew. The band was well versed, and covered tons of popular music. The best part was that it was so loud in this area, that I wasn't worried about people pelting me with tomatoes for my horrible singing.

"You are an evil genius Cana! How the hell have we never been here before?" I reached for Yukino's hands forcing her to join me as an upbeat song started to play. I knew I was making a fool of myself, but I couldn't care less when I was having the time of my life. "I might come every night."

Yukino was laughing, and smiling as we hopped and swayed in time to the music. I spun her twice in a row, laughing as she nearly lost her balance. I knew I looked immature, but dancing like this felt to good to worry about anything else. I didn't care what anyone thought of me, I never really had.

"If I would have know this was all it took to get you to loosen up, we would have gone out of town to a club years ago!" Cana yelled over the music so I could hear her.

"I wish I would have known myself, we absolutely would have made the trip!" I smiled brightly, reaching for my other companion so I could spin her again. "Is this the best Yuki-chan?" I turned up empty, Yukino wasn't next to me anymore.

I was slightly confused as I looked around for her, I shook my head when I saw she was heading for Rogue who looked as bored as ever. I took a step forward, intent on joining them, but something held me back. She walked around him in a slow circle, something sparkling in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. That was quite right, she was giving the dark haired man the same look that Cana reserved for the special barrels of expensive booze, the one's she likes to drink in privacy. Finished with her silent appraisal, she stopped in front of him. Her delicate hands brazenly reached out and positioned his on the tops of her full hips, forcing him to move with her to the rhythm of the music.

I shifted, pretending to dance again, but I couldn't really force myself to turn away. My eyes continued to flicker back to them against my will, studying the movements, committing every motion to memory. She was already bordering on Cana's level of inappropriate public behavior, becoming more aggressive as the song progressed. Rogue was saying something to her, but I was too far to hear over the music and the conversations of strangers. I couldn't see Yukino's reaction either, and I found myself desperately wanting to know what they were saying.

My mouth ran dry as his hands moved along the surface of the dress I had load her, ending around her back where he linked his them. I felt the burn at the back of my eyes, and I forced myself to look away finally. I couldn't fathom way I felt like I might cry, I had no reason to cry.

I ignored the questioning gaze that Cana was sending me, as I tried to explain away the feeling of tears gathering in my eyes. The haze of alcohol was making it hard to discern the source of the tidal wave of emotions that knocked the air right out of my lungs. I tried to rationalize what ever this falling that was hot and ugly burning its way up my throat. I couldn't just stand there watching anymore, I had to escape, quickly.

Cana's call drifted unanswered in the space between us as I rushed to the V.I.P section, intent on sobering up a bit. I needed to clear my mind, and work out what the hell was wrong with me. I cursed under my breath, trying to remember if I had eaten something strange.

Lisanna was lazing about, taking long sips of her brightly colored cocktail when I finally reached the sitting area. She gave me the once over, and tilted her head in curiosity. I didn't like that gleam in her bright blue eyes, like she was going to pull information from me by force. "Come sit, you look like you need to cool off." She patted a cushion, and called for a glass of water that she forced on me.

"Is that any better?" She asked once I had finished the tall glass, and accepted the seat. I offered her a nod, not trusting my voice for a second time that day.

"Lucy what happened, you were just getting into it?" Cana slid into the seat next to me, but my attention was elsewhere. It was horrible that I couldn't seem to keep myself from looking over at them.

"I'm not feeling well, maybe I've had more to drink than I realized." It was a weak excuse, I wasn't anywhere near the amount that I had consumed the night prior. Still I was not in my right mind, maybe Mira had added something strange to one of my drinks. It wasn't unrealistic, Mira had done things like that to me before. Could she have done it to all of us? Was that why Levy got so messed up that quickly, or why Yukino was suddenly as alluring as Cana?

Cana followed my line of sight over the dance floor, then her eyes softened just a fraction. She settled back into her seat, fixing her top so that more of her ample chest was bared.

Lisanna handed me a fresh glass of water, and poked me until I accepted it. Cana just sat there watching me carefully; she was waiting for something to happen, but I had no idea what. The next song had already started, and Yukino had moved so that she could move more freely to the music. Her armed were thrown over her head as she slide up and down the length of his body. I was so confused, why was this making me so uncomfortable? Cana was just dancing the same way with a total stranger! Yukino and Rogue had been friends for years, they had an easy friendship that I myself was hoping to establish with the dark haired man.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

"Oi, why are you guys just sitting around?" Gray, who miraculously still had his shirt on, called from the other side of the ropes. He gave me a worried glance, like he too was waiting for me to break.

"We've been enjoying our nice girl talk, now go away before Juvia drowns us all." Lisanna pointed to the pissed off water mage who was tugging the back of his shirt to get him back to the floor. He narrowed his eyes at me, as if he knew I wasn't there to talk.

"Lucy, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine Gray, just had a little to much to drink. I'll be back when I'm less woozy." I gave him a sweet smile and shooed him with my hands. He looked to Cana apparently not willing to take my word for it; she mouthed something I couldn't really see. His eyes went wide for a split second and he looked back at me, his mouth hanging open. Before he could say whatever it was he intended, Juvia managed to drag him back allowing the crowd to swallow them completely. I wanted to ask what that was about, but Cana didn't give me the opportunity.

"So I was right, little Miss Yukino has a thing for tall, dark and handsome." She was giving me one of her evil smirks, like she knew something that she would never tell me. "To bad I only date normal guys or I'd be over there trying to get a piece of the action too."

"He's not your type and you know it." Lisanna commented as she looked over to where I had my eyes focused. "You want a guy who will roll over and let you do what ever you want. You like them spineless and infatuated."

"You make that sound like a bad thing." Cana pouted.

"I'm happy for Yukino. Rogue is a nice guy, she deserves someone like that." My words sounded weak, even if I meant them with every fiber of my being. "So stay away, I don't want anything to mess it up for her."

"Pretty boys are always popular." Cana leaned back in her seat, kicking her high heeled shoes up on the table. "She'll have tons of competition for his affections, I'm sure."

My focus had been shifting back and forth from the girls to the 'couple' the whole time, the discomfort growing with every passing minute. Yukino's arms were now draped around Rogue's shoulders, absently playing with a piece of his dark hair that had escaped the elastic band he used to hold it up. The smile on her face was peaceful, as she swayed with the music. I looked back at her dance partner, and our eyes met; I flushed absolutely crimson as he flashed me a smile. That was the second time he had caught me staring, yet for some reason I couldn't force myself to look away this time.

"Ah look there, competition already." Cana pointed to a slim brunette that had the look of a wolf stalking her supper, her eyes set on Rogue as the main course.

"That girl doesn't stand a chance" I said coolly. Yukino noticed the woman a moment later and turned a venomous look on the brunette before she could get any closer. "Yuki-chan will fight to the death for what she wants."

"Sounds familiar." Lisanna giggled before finishing off her drink. "I knew this blonde once, she would have followed this fool she fell in love with to hell and back if it meant they could be together. She was the hopeless romantic, a true gem really."

"A blonde who loved a fool? Oh, I know that one, too. She followed him straight to hell and back alright, but in the end she found him unworthy of her affections." I let a small smile creep up. "Of course that was after the fourth, wait that's not right, it was the fifth trip to hell. The whole thing was tragic."

"Absolutely tragic, she began to waste away, shutting everyone out for fear they'd discover her folly. She had a group of awesome friends though, and they helped her to realized that she could simply gather the pieces of her broken heart and start again. A true romantic never truly gives up on love, so they reminded her that out there somewhere she might find someone who was worthy." Lisanna quipped back.

"I'm sure her wounded heart became wary of suitors, fearing that none would meet expectation." I sighed, in a wistful sort of way that I had never done before. "Who knows, maybe she knows where to look, but is too scared to let her heart get broken again."

"She's right, there are plenty of fish in the sea, I'm sure you'll find someone ten times better than Natsu someday. He's a little boy who doesn't appreciate everything you've gone through to stay by his side. Now lets go start looking for Men, no more little boys for you girlie." Cana was grabbing for my hand, but I shook my head.

"Cana, you ruined the whole thing!" Lisanna cried indignantly, and was ignored by both of us.

"You want to have fun and be free to do what ever you want right, come on I'll teach you how?"

"I may be ready to let go of my feeling for Natsu, but I don't want to just get involved with someone just because I can." Cana gave me a disappointed pout before she was off to find her next 'hunk of man meat'.

_Only Cana could come up with a phrase so unappetizing._

I shifted next to Lisanna, who was giving me a terribly good impression of her sister's all knowing smile.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, just never thought you could get jealous." She took a much smaller drink for herself, and handed me another glass of water.

"Jealous, of what?" I shifted my focus back to her for a moment, an eyebrow raised in my confusion.

"You're too cute Lucy." She gave me a side hug. "Figuring that out is half the fun, so you'll be doing it on your own." She finished off her drink before heading off to join in the fun.

I settled back in my seat, watching as she joined Erza, and a gang of men who were trying to get the red head to pay attention to them. Lisanna began talking to her with a bright smile, as if she didn't have a care in the world, completely ignoring her own little fan club. Whatever she said made Erza extremely happy, and the two moved back to where Cana had selected her newest victim. I watched them start a very animated conversation, and lost interest quickly.

_Jealous, huh? What could make Lisanna think I'm feeling jealous? I have no reason to be jealous of anything or anyone. Its absolutely ridiculous to even think that I'm feeling anything close to such an ugly emotion. _

I shook my head, whipping the little curls around my face back and forth. There was no base for that accusation, none at all. I felt a tap on my shoulder that I came back to the present, hoping to high heaven I hadn't been thinking out loud.

"You left in a hurry," Rogue took the seat next to me, and I tensed. "are you ok?"

"I didn't mean to worry everyone." I focused on the glass of water in my hands, willing my fingers to stop trembling. "I just needed to think for a while."

_My god I can't even control my own body anymore! What the hell did Mira put in my drink?!  
><em>

"I've been meaning to thank you." I felt the cushion next to me sag deeper as he leaned back.

"Thank me for what?" I took a quick glance and found myself smiling at the man who looked as if he were right at home. He had his eyes closed, his long bangs hiding a fair portion of his face. His dark leather boots were sitting crossed over one another on the table, while his arms were crossed over his chest. He looked decidedly comfortable, and everything I had been feeling suddenly didn't matter anymore.

"The brat over there has been a pain in my side since she and Sting got into a huge fight." He didn't make an attempt to indicate who the brat was, it didn't matter because I knew he meant Yukino. "She's been less annoying since we ran into you, so thanks."

"Oh." I wasn't sure why I felt disappointed, but I did. My shoulders sagged slightly, and I felt my fingers twitch before ghosting over the burn on my wrist.

"Does that still hurt?" I looked over, and saw he had one eye cracked, observing me.

"Not really, I'm no stranger to Natsu's flames." I shifted, readjusting my dress so that it covered more of my exposed thighs. "This is nothing, I've had far worse."

My small confession seemed to make Rogue uncomfortable. He shifted, taking his feet off the table, and gave me such a serious look, I found myself holding my breath again.

"Has he's ever done **this** on purpose before?" He was being careful with his words, trying not to make a big deal of the accusation. However the venom in his tone when he pointed to my wrist, gave him away.

"I've been caught in his attacks more than I care to admit, but it's never been specifically directed at me." I took a deep breath and settle the sense of terror I felt remembering that look of fury that had flared when he had burned my wrist. "Natsu was angry, and that fuels his flames, I'm sure he didn't intent to cause me real pain."

Rogue was quiet for a moment, seemingly digesting the information. I let myself turn back to the dance floor, trying to spot my friends in the throng of fast paced bodies, as a way to distract myself. Rogue shifted back into his comfortable position, but his shoulder stayed tense.

"It looked like Natsu knew exactly what he was doing from where I was standing." It was so quiet, I had almost missed his remark.

"If he got the message to leave me alone, this little burn will be worth it." I settled back into my seat, trying hard not to look at my companion for fear he might catch me staring a third time. "It'll be hard, since we both work for the same Guild, but I'm determined to avoid him till I don't feel so angry anymore."

"That sounds like a good idea."

We sat quietly for a while, just the two of us, my mind growing clearer as the time ticked by. I fought the urge to reach over and brush the hair out of his face more than once, so I ended up closing my eyes as well. I tired to listen to the music, and forget everything else. It was comfortable, almost comfortable enough to put my hazy mind to sleep.

"Those monsters over there aren't happy that you ran off the dance floor a bit ago." I opened my eyes to find that he was watching me openly. "Erza asked me to try and convince you to join them." His eyes shifted, and I saw Cana and Erza dancing next to Yukino, the red head's eyes were trained directly on us watching like a hawk.

"Oh, so Erza sent you, that makes more sense." Disappointment flooded my system again. I made an effort not to look over at him as I waved to Erza; she narrowed her eyes a fraction more, probably knowing my smile was fake this time.

"I'm pretty sure she'll skin me alive if you don't come back soon."

"Well I can't have you murdered after how much help you've offered me today. I'll go tell her to leave you alone." Rogue got to his feet first and offered me his hand, along with another smile.

_His smile is so nice; I can't remember ever seeing him smile like this before. _

I accepted it, and allowed him to lead me back towards our group.

"Can I be honest?" I had to shout a little as we pushed through the crowd, his hand still wrapped tightly around mine.

"Of course." He didn't look back at me, just kept pushing through.

"I was embarrassed, you know, that's why I left. I'm not really used to this, old habits die hard I guess." He stopped short for a moment, before letting out the smallest laugh. He turned to look at me this time, a sweet smile (that suited him far more than I thought should be allowed) softening his features. "I don't even know how to, um, dance like the others."

"It isn't hard; I could show you, if you want." By this point I was sure my face was on fire. My throat was so dry that the only answer I could manage was a weak nod.

He started by gripping me in a fashion I was used to, all formal, with a proper distance between us. He moved my hands first, so slowly that I found myself holding my breath. He let out another small laugh at how ridged I was, he rested my hands on his shoulders, and gave me a second to adjust.

I tried my best not to jump out of my skin when his hands came back down to rest on my waist. The contact felt like white hot coals lighting little fires through the thin fabric of my dress. I tried to calm myself as we began to sway from side to side, Rogue lead gently sensing my discomfort. I was panicking on the inside, the glimmer of my fears whispering to me that I was putting myself in danger.

They were easy enough to ignore when I decided to focus on keeping eye contact, even if I felt I might die of embarrassment at the sparkle of amusement I found there. my breath caught in my throat as he slowly slide down an inch or so to rest his hands on the natural curve of my hip. He was giving me time to adjust between each embarrassing movement, waiting till I relaxed before moving to the next stage; I couldn't decide if he was being a gentleman or a devil because it was leaving me absolutely breathless in a way I'd never experienced before. He pulled me closer at a slow and steady pace, until I was forced to adjust my hold, looping my arms around his neck. The voice was screaming at me now, saying I was getting myself into far more trouble than I realized. I kept as much distance between us as possible, so that I could continue to keep eye contact, unwilling to relinquish the last bits of space between us.

Rogue adjusted his hands once again, locking them around my back, forcing me forward the last little bit. I let out a squeak as my body molded against his. His hand slipped up to the back of my head and gently pushed forward; the voice in my head fainted, leaving me to silently lay my head down. This was the position Yukino had been in when he had caught me staring, I realized quickly. He wasn't forcing me to do anything inappropriate or the lest bit compromising. If there was any tension left in my body, it vanished when I realized this, and I allowed myself to listen to the steady beating of his heart. I let myself study how it felt to be wrapped in his arms.

_This isn't so bad, what was I so worried about it in the first place?_

I took a deep breath, a slightly familiar scent assaulting my nose. For a moment I was glad Rogue wasn't able to see my face as it flamed absolutely vermillion. It took a minute or so to get my baring back. I was certain my face would never go back to it's normal color after this night, there was no way it could.

How was it even possible that he made me so flustered, without even **doing** anything? I decided it was pointless to try figuring it out, especially when I felt so weak at the knees. I focused on the events that had not been a dream the previous night, with a new sense of understanding.

"Thank you for last night." I whispered into the fabric of his borrowed shirt. I smiled to myself, knowing now that he had been the one who banished the dark dreams for me.

"You're welcome." He whispered back just loud enough for me to catch.

My mind was blown, Rogue had been the one who held onto me until I was able to sleep again; he's seen me at my weakest, and was still standing here offering me small pleasantries. It was just one more selfless thing that he had done on my behalf, and I would need to come up with something spectacular to thank him for all of it.

Two songs had come and gone since he had started the little game to get me comfortable. A third was beginning with an upbeat tempo; I found that I didn't want to release my hold on him, I wanted to stay in his comforting presence until the whole world no longer mattered. I noticed that he wasn't shifting positions either, as we continued to sway slowly from side to side.

This was completely foreign to me, I'd never craved to be this close to anyone, not even Natsu.

"This is nice." I heard myself whisper, I half expect it to break the spell, forcing him to release me, but it only seemed to make him draw me in closer. "Maybe we could have one more dance, you know, for practice."

"Alright." He rested his chin on top of my head, and I could feel him sigh.

If I'd had my choice I would have stayed that way for the rest of the night, it just felt so right.

Unfortunately my crazy family had other plans, and before I knew what was happening, I had been wrenched away and thrown over a shoulder.

"After party at Lucy's!" Loki called to the rest of the group. "Lisanna said Mira's bringing food!"

I offered an apologetic smile to Rogue as Loki carried me off, holding back a giggle at the look of shock still plaster to his face. A moment later Gray was slinging his arm around the other man's shoulder, quietly whispering something in his ear. Rogue nodded to whatever it was, shoving his hands in his pockets as he followed the ice mage towards the exit.

Once we hit the night air Loki placed me on my feet, a very serious look on his face. A lecture was on the tip of his tongue and I wasn't having it.

"That wasn't necessary, all you had to do was tell me it was time to leave." I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a small pout. The effect wasn't as potent as I had desired, because a gust of wind made me shiver violently. This broke Loki out of his mood, and he shrugged off his coat to wrap around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry Lucy, I don't know what came over me." He put an arm around my waist, steering me towards my apartment.

I was determined to give him the silent treatment the whole way, as punishment for ruining something so special. He spent a good five minutes just trying to get me to laugh, because if he could manage that I would forgive him. I was far to predictable. He even resorted to tickling me, the jerk knew I couldn't stay mad after that. I pushed him off, and pulled my heels off. He gave me a look and I took off running. When I reached our destination, completely out of breath, I noticed the lights were already on.

_Is Mira already here? How did she get in, I took the copy of my key from her months ago?  
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I cautiously entered the building, listening carefully as I opened my front door. I noted that it was lock, this was usually a sign that one of my teammates had made themselves at home. I had tried for years to convince them to use the door, but I still couldn't get them to stop breaking in. I pushed the door open and relaxed in the warmth the wood burning fire brought to my cozy little home.

"Lu-chan you're home finally! It was so mean to send me off like that." Levy whined from my couch as I stepped into the room. Gajeel was snoozing next to her, a heavy hand placed on top of her head. I stopped a moment to appreciate the image, knowing that he would go back to being his normal badass self the instant he woke.

"Have you been here the whole time?" I crossed the room to my dresser, intent on getting out of my dress.

"Why does Bunny girl have a creepy smile on?" Apparently Levy's outburst had woken Gajeel up.

"I do not have a creepy smile." I frowned at him over the dresser drawer.

"You are smiling though, what happened?" Levy dove off the cushion grasping for my arm. "Tell me everything!"

"What is it a bad thing to smile now?" I resumed grabbing a pair of yoga pants, a tank top and an over sized pink cashmere sweater that hung off my one shoulder along with a fresh set of undergarments.

"You look absolutely smitten!" Levy cried, as I dragged her with me to the bathroom (since she refused to release her grasp) so I could get changed. "You are practically glowing!"

"You've lost your mind." I tried to push her off, but she refused to let go without answers. "I just had a good time."

"She was dancing with Rogue." That sent my little blue haired friend into a frenzy, and I gave Loki a glare.

"Awe that's so romantic! I've totally won the bet too, Juvia better pay up." She finally released her grip and skipped off to Gajeel, acting as if she hadn't had a drop to drink the whole night.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that." I scowled at my three friends before disappearing behind the curtain. I made quick work of stripping off my evening wear, and settled into my more comfortable lay-around-the-house clothes. "You are overreacting, people are supposed to dance at a club. I mean Cana went through half the guys there."

"You were ignoring all the guys when I was sent home." She hollered back.

I heard the front door open and close, the melody of Mira's singing voice drifted in along with the smell of something mouth watering. I hastily pulled on my wool socks and darted back into the room. Elfman was carrying several bags fill to the brim with take out containers. Mira and Levy began moving my furniture about. I shoved everything that I could under my bed, and locked up my writing desk. By the time we were finished, the rest of my friends came barging in.

"I'd love to stay, and hear all about your night, but I have to get back." Mira gave a sweet smile and hugged Lisanna. "You'll be staying the night right?"

"I doubt anyone wants to leave Lucy alone." She answered as her sister released her.

"Have fun, come on Elfman, I have a job for you."

"Thanks you Mira, Elfman!" I called as they excused themselves.

"There is so much food!" Gray dove over the coffee table and unceremoniously started digging through the bags. Everyone was laughing as he started to pill containers up in his arms.

"Gray, no one is going to steal it from you." I let myself drop on my bed. "Now share with everyone else or I'll make you go home." He peaked up at me, and I offered an easy smile.

"It's Mira's cooking, can you blame me?" I shook my head.

"I know, but there are a lot people here." I pointed to the group that was getting ready to get their own food, while others tried to find a comfortable place to sit. "If there isn't enough I can just make something, my fridge and pantry are fully stocked since their hasn't been anyone for me to feed for a while."

I hadn't meant the comment to make the others uneasy, I couldn't blame them for worrying I had been an absolute wreck for a month now. I wanted to make sure they knew that I was going to be fine, there was no reason for them to worry anymore. There was only one thing I could think of that would break the tension without much effort.

I doubled over laughing, deep and heartfelt.

"Gray you broke her!" Lisanna cried before starting to laugh too.

"She isn't broken, she's finally fixed." Cana slapped Lisanna on the back before moving to take the spot next to me on the bed. "Right Lucy?"

"I've spent enough time crying, I just want to have fun and enjoy the time I have with my friends." I leaned back on my hands and looked at the ceiling, letting my breathing even out. "I'm working on living with no regrets."

Cana was about to say something, but was cut off.

"Lucy, Juvia found a package on the counter!" The blue haired woman moved through the crowded room and settled on the floor in front of me. "Open it." She was super curious, and I knew she wouldn't let it go until I did.

"I forgot to mention that it was there when we got here." Levy had bobbed over to sit on my other side, leaving Gajeel to help himself to the food.

The bright blue box didn't have any indication who it was from, so I carefully opened it. I gasped when the lid came away and sitting there were the boots that I had been heart broken over earlier in the day. A small card was placed there.

_I was saving them for Christmas. They're from Happy, mostly, so please don't throw them away. Please don't punish Happy for my mistakes. I'll make things right, I promise, I am really sorry for everything.  
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_-Natsu_

"Are those the ones you were going to buy earlier?" Yukino asked with wide eyes.

"How is this possible? She said they were sold out!" I starred at the box for a moment before I got angry at it. "Yukino you take them, I don't want them anymore." I pushed them into her hands before moving over to my dinning table to get my share of food.

"What's going on Lucy?" Erza came up behind, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Its a bribe, Erza." I pointed an accusing finger at the box still in the light haired woman's hand. "I'm not falling for it." I took a deep breath and continued examining the food laid out in no sensible order, my hand coming up to cradle my injured wrist, the shock of a burning sensation making me shiver.

"Lucy, look at me." Erza ordered. I spun, and set my expression in one of neutrality. "I think it's time you tell me exactly what kind of relationship the two of you were carrying on with."

"What exactly are you asking?" She pulled me back to sit on my bed again, throwing a warning glare at everyone else. "Didn't Cana explain it?"

"Natsu stayed here often, didn't he?" Erza was never one to beat around the bush.

"Not for the reasons you think." I instinctively pulled my knees up to my chest. "It was for my benefit, not his."

"Care to explain?" Erza wasn't happy with where this was going, I was sure.

"She has nightmares." Loki answered for me. "The first couple of months after the Games, they were so bad she refused to sleep properly."

"Who didn't have nightmares after that, it's not something to be ashamed of." Lisanna took a seat on the floor as well. "I've had my fair share as well."

"I-I, don't want to talk about this." I buried my face in my sweater. "Can we talk about something else, anything but this?"

Erza wasn't letting up though, her gaze was burning hot. I started to shake, still to tipsy to put up my defenses.

"Someone precious died in Lucy's arms that day. She used herself a shield to protect our Lucy, to preserve a future where she wouldn't have to lose her family."

"That's enough, I-I can tell them the rest." I gathered my strength, and used it to keep myself from crying. "Time flows in one direction, and different event can have different outcomes. The manic who unleashed the dragons came from a time line where I had closed the gate. The other was me, she wanted to find a way to defeat the dragons, she didn't know that they would come through the gate." My whole body started to shake. "She gave her life, trusting that Natsu would find a way to stop it. She was so overcome with grief just seeing him again."

"How do you know that?" Lisanna asked gently.

"When the gate was destroyed, a part of her memories were transferred to me. She watched a lot of people die in her own time, the dragons were everywhere. The most vivid memory is the one that I have nightmares about, s-she, h-h-he. Natsu goes down fighting, but he's no match for that many dragons alone. The last thing he does is tell her to get out of there, to find somewhere safe."

"That's why you call for him in your sleep?" Erza rested a hand on my shoulder, a gesture of comfort.

"I don't know, Natsu refused to tell me what I say in my sleep."

"There's more isn't there?" Yukino probed, with a sad look on her face. "Last night you were saying things that scared me."

"I'm sorry for that, I had hoped Lyra would be able to put me out without dreams." I ducked my head again, not wanting to admit it with Rogue in the room.

"She asked for it to stop, for Rogue not to hurt her anymore, right?" Loki asked as he looked over at me.

"It's not the first time this has happened then?." Yukino shifted her glance to the dark haired mage standing in the corner.

"I." I wanted to tell him I was sorry, to tell him I wasn't scared, but the words wouldn't come.

"Rogue isn't the person she is asking to stop, it's the monster from the future, her subconscious mind how ever doesn't make that distinction like she can while awake. So when ever she is around Sabertooth she watches him kill Lucy, she is forced to see herself die in her own arms."

"How could you keep something like that from us?" Erza turned back to me.

"I couldn't say it!" I sounded like a spoiled child. "If I said it out loud I would be admitting that I was afraid and I don't want to be afraid."

"She has made wonderful progress over the past year, the dreams only come every so often. She has even managed to get over needing to have Natsu there when she wakes up." Loki gave a proud smile. "I never liked that you needed him to comfort you, and it's good to know that I will be enough from here on out."

"I don't think they'll be a problem anymore, see I'm not scared at all right now!" I tried my best to give them a happy grin.

"You don't have to convince anyone." Cana gave me a soft smile. "You were much to comfortable to be scared earlier."

They all laughed, and I blushed realizing they had been watching us dancing at the club..

"Shut up and start eating the food before I kick you all out." I dove back into the bed, and covered my head with a pillow.

* * *

><p>In true Fairy Tail fashion it was a party till you drop kind of night, and the girls ended up piling on or around my bed. Erza was snugly pressed against the wall under my window, sandwiching me in between her and Yukino. Lisanna was curled at the foot of the bed, while Juvia and Cana leaned their back against the length of it. Levy had my head cradled in her lap, her back supported by my head board.<p>

"I know you're still awake." It was Gray talking in the dark, watching over me from the other side of the room.

"I'm afraid I'll get squashed if I let myself drift off too long." I whispered back.

"Why didn't you tell us you were having a problem?" He seemed hurt, and for a moment I felt badly that I kept it a secret. "We could have found a way to help you sooner."

"Do you like talking about Ur's death?" I heard him suck in a sharp breath, and muttered no. "I couldn't stop Natsu from getting involved, Loki panicked and forced his gate open and when I wouldn't calm down he ran to get Natsu."

"So your saying you wouldn't have wanted him to know either?" Gray held an air of accusation.

"He would have found out about it eventually, but no it was not a nice discussion, telling him that I had to watch him die over and over again." I sighed. "I'm sure I'll be able to move past it now though."

"What changed?" It was a rather sudden declaration I supposed.

"Rogue will never become that person, Natsu was right about that much." I shifted, trying to look over to where my friend was sitting on my coffee table. "Do you remember the first week after the phantom debacle?"

"You didn't sleep very well, we could all see that."

"Gajeel tortured me for a while, it gave me nightmares. When he joined the guild they came back, but I worked through it. I won't try to tell you that I never get scared of either of them, because I do, I just don't want to let it take over. Gajeel is my friend, and I want Rogue to be my friend too. It's not fair to hold something that he never did against him, especially if I can forgive Gajeel for something like that."

"And what are you going to do about ash for brains?" I felt a chill at his anger.

"I'm going to avoid him, and move on with my life. He was only trying to keep me safe, nothing he did was malicious or calculated. It was silly of me to read into his behavior the way I did. I must have shocked him so much that he couldn't even imagine how to process the information. Even if he didn't intend to, he made me question myself, and that hurts more than the rejection."

"You don't sound angry anymore?"

"I've decided it isn't worth my energy to be angry at that idiot. I've given him a month of frustration and tears, isn't that enough? All I want is for him to leave me alone, so I can move on. However, this burn on my wrist is a whole other story. Cana has my permission to drown him for that."

"If something like this happens again, you will come and tell me, right?"

"Maybe"

"Lucy, I'm serious. You're one of my best friends, teammates or not. It was so hard to watch you go through that kind of pain alone, especially since you wouldn't tell us why you were in pain to begin with. You are never in this alone, we've got your back, please try to remember that."

"Share the burden, right?" I smiled to myself, remembering the speech the old man had given after the guild hall had been destroyed. "I promise that I won't hide things from you anymore, it never really works anyway."

"Good, now go to sleep. If they were going to smother you they would have done it already."

"Night Gray, and thanks."


	9. Where the hell am I?

**ChaCha you make me laugh. I want to message you to explain myself, but your not posting as a registered user. All will be explained in due time, and like I said I'm not making this a quick smut fic. Lucy has been processing the break with Natsu for a month, and I find myself coming up with my best thoughts in the middle of a club. The music helps me shut out everything other than what I want to focus on. As for the whole Yukino being a bitchy hoe... Yeah no. Dancing with your guy friend doesn't make you a hoe or a slut. If she had been kissing him or grabbing at his naughty bits maybe, but she was just dancing. Lucy has a problem with denial, but worry not, she'll work it out in due time.**

**For everyone else, Please enjoy the fruits of my labor, and prepare to find yourselves ready to strangle me. :) Please refrain from doing so, I can't finish the story if I am dead. :P  
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* * *

><p>I let out an exasperated sigh as I tripped over a rock, nearly breaking my neck for the fifteenth time. The incline was making it hard to get a good foot hold, my heeled boots doing nothing to help, and the wind was whipping my skirt around a little too much for my liking. I gave myself a minute to brush off the dirt from my skinned knee, I hissed at the sting of pain it sent through me, and almost decided to give up, almost. My mind processed the thought and immediately threw it away, I'd be totally screwed if I just stopped, I needed to make it to the big red star on the map and then demand answers. I shifted the duffel bag on my shoulder, a scowl settling on my face, as I continued to walk forward.<p>

_That's right, I don't even know where the hell I am; I need to get to where ever I'm going and then drop kick whoever had the lame idea to pull something so ridiculous!_

First thing in the morning Freed had called down letting me know that the old man needed to have a word with me. I was expecting the usual scolding over being reckless and how I should have informed him of the situation, since the client had tried to cheat us out of our reward all together. I was surprised when the lecture didn't come, instead he had told me how proud he was that I stuck to my pride as a Celestial mage, and carried out the contract to the letter. It was the client's fault for withholding information that was vital to the job. Still he had made the necessary reparations in my place, sending an apology and everything.

That was where he got serious, a frown pulling at his tired old eyes as he read over a piece of paper on his lap. He forced a sweet smile, and crushed the paper in his palm. I felt my throat tighten when he met my stare, something reminiscent of fear welling up in my stomach. He let the moment drag on for a little to long before explaining himself.

He told me that there was a matter of the utmost importance that he needed me to attend to. There was no choice in the matter as he handed me a sealed folder and kicked me right out the door. I was lost in thought as I descended the stairs, going over my conversation with the old man over and over. I couldn't digest that he had praised me for how I had handled my job, even though black mail is frowned upon, he wouldn't hold it against me in this case. I vaguely remembered saying hi to Erza and Gray at the bar and then Mira's voice telling me to sleep.

I woke up in a carriage, several hours later (I assumed since the sun had already past it's highest point in the sky), to find myself looking up at an unfamiliar mountain range. A bad feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as the driver handed me a map and apologized that he couldn't take me any further. As he pulled away I felt the weight of the situation bare down on me, not only had I been knocked out with a sleeping spell by my friends, but I had no clue where I was. I had no choice but to follow the directions on the map, and hope that who ever was at the red dot would be able to tell me what the hell was going on.

An hour had past since I had started, my progress slowed due to the terrain, and my lack of proper shoes. I was exhausted, but then I caught sight of my destination. Up ahead I could finally make out an enormous building, the flags whipping in the wind held the emblem of the Sabertooth Guild. I smiled as I realized what was going on, the thought of seeing two people in particular gave me a burst of energy I couldn't explain.

I found myself covering the ground twice as fast as before, stumbling from time to time, but the little scrapes did nothing to slow my pace at that point. Soon I was standing in a courtyard of sorts, surrounded by impressive buildings that paved the way to the guild's main hall. I dropped my bag, and leaned forward, trying to suck enough oxygen into my lungs to satisfy the burning.

I had only been standing there for a minute or two when the wind was knocked back out of me, leaving me gasping for the oxygen I so desperately needed. I squealed as I felt my body being hoisted into the air, panicking for a moment, fearing that I was being attacked. A deep laugh rumbled under me, and I let myself relax. My observations were limited to the fact that he was tall, all I could see from my position was soft spiky green hair. Orga Nanagear was the only man of his stature with that color hair, yes that fit. He had me slung over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes, only lighter, my bag (which looked like it held every piece of clothing I owned) was dwarfed by his large hands, appearing to be nothing bigger than a child's knapsack.

I tried my best not to make any sudden movements, my cheeks burning at the idea that I was probably flashing anyone who walked by a nice view of my lacy pink underwear. I was about to demand answers when the wind was knocked out of my lungs, again. He deposited me on the floor roughly and dropped my bag next to me. I looked up at him with enough venom to let him know i wasn't please, and he just smiled down at me.

"Oww, why'd you have to toss me like that?" I winced as I moved to stand up, but I didn't get far.

"Lucy-sama!" Yukino launched herself out of no where, knocking me back down to the ground. "What are you doing here?"

"Would you believe that I don't have any idea?" She gave me a confused shake of her head. "By the looks of it, someone is either playing a serious prank or there is some catastrophic disaster happening here that the old man thinks only I can handle." I looked around to see dozens of stunned faces that I didn't recognize, and let a rueful smile curl up. "They are having a good laugh at my expense, I'm sure of it."

"I don't understand what you mean, but I'm happy to see you again, no matter what the reason." She helped me to my feet, and led me over to the table she had been using as an office of sorts. She must have been doing research for a job with all the books spread out on the surface of the round table.

"It would seem we have a guest." I twisted, knowing that voice from the several encounters we'd had on jobs. I smiled at the man who never removed his mask, as he moved to sit on the seat next to me. "Good to see you again, Miss. Lucy."

"Always a pleasure, Rufus." He nodded at me, and leaned over to inspect one of the books in Yukino's multiple stacks.

"How did you end up here if you don't know why you're here?" Yukino leaned heavily on her elbows, curiosity making her big brown eyes sparkle.

"Mira knocked me out with a sleeping spell." I tapped my chin. "When I came to, I was already at the foot of the mountain, with my duffel and a map."

"That does reek of a horrible prank." She scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Oddly enough, this isn't that bad. It absolutely beats the time they forced me and Juvia into a drinking contest. I don't really remember how it happened, but I woke up soaking wet on the roof the next morning, with my shirt missing." I shrugged kicking my bag under the table.

Yukino laughed, as she studied my appearance; I knew I looked like I had just walked through one of Gajeel's Iron Dragon Roars. My hands and knees were scrapped and bleeding, my hair was pulled into a messy bun on top of my head to keep it out of my eyes, and I was wearing clothing that did absolutely nothing to ward off the cold. After her appraisal was complete she leveled a serious stare at me.

"So how are you holding up?" I couldn't help but chuckle at her, it had been three days since the whole fiasco at the guild hall, and I actually was feeling better than I could have ever dreamed. "Has Natsu learned his lesson yet?"

"I would hope so, Cana stuck his head in the pool and Gray froze it, while his head was still under water." Her eyes went wide. "What, Cana said she was going to drown him and I didn't see a reason to stop her."

"He isn't dead, is he? That would be a little extreme." I laughed harder as she started to turn pale.

"He is very much alive, and still sporting a nasty black eye since Wendy refuses to heal him." I took a moment to catch my breath. "Mira hasn't let him out of her sight for very long."

"It was that bad, huh?"

"My guild doesn't allow anyone to get away with hurting one of the family, no matter who they are." I crossed my arms over my chest, pride filling every inch of my soul. "Natsu should understand that better than anyone, since he is usually the one dishing the punishment."

"Fairies are scary." She shivered.

"He'll be forgiven once he's paid his pound of flesh, we aren't the type of people who hold grudges past that."

"Obviously." Rufus added his comment with a small smile of his own.

"Humans are fragile creatures, and life is to short to let a personal vendetta consume you." I set the most serious expression I could manage on my face, knowing that there were a few exceptions to that rule. "Together though, we are a force to be reckoned with. Anyone who is stupid, or conceded enough to think they can hurt a Fairy and get away with it deserves whatever is coming to them." I saw a glimmer of fear pass over his eyes.

"I don't understand, you never laid a hand on Natsu." Yukino didn't seem phased by my previously dark demeanor, so I shrugged.

"Don't get me wrong, I wanted nothing more then to punch him till my knuckles bled, but I knew it wouldn't make me feel better. He was already beaten down, thanks to a certain someone; I guess that was enough for me." I leaned back in the chair, letting my eyes drift over the expanse of the room. It wasn't dissimilar to our guildhall, except for all the washed out grey stone, and the calm that hung in the air. "Is it always so quiet?" Yukino let out an amused laugh, garnering the attention of her guild mates.

"After being in your guild hall everywhere else must feel like a library." She continued laughing, despite the onlookers.

"I guess you have a point." I let myself relax for a moment, then I remembered that I had no clue why I was here. "Do you think maybe someone here knows why I was sent?" She shrugged her shoulders, and Rufus coughed bringing my attention back to him.

"I actually had a hand in that plot." He confessed. "Call it a personal favor if you will. Master Makarov is allowing us to borrow you for a little while, there seems to be a young miss who has been out of sorts for a while. He was only to happy to agree due to some strange happenings in your guild."

"A matter of the utmost importance, indeed." I gave Yukino a teasing smile. "I would be delighted to help."

"Rufus, that wasn't necessary!" Yukino whined. "I'm not a child, I can handle things myself."

"I can't turn away from a friend in need any more than you can, Yuki-chan. Please let me help you." I reached across the table, and patted her hand softly.

"Are you sure it isn't going to be uncomfortable for you?" She had a guilty look on her face, that confused me.

"What makes you think that?" She started playing with her fingers, unsure of how to put her thoughts into words.

"Well you know everything that happened that night." She said softly.

"It's fine, we all had fun no matter how uncomfortable certain things got." I said softly. "I'm willing to put all our drunken misadventures behind us if you are."

"Is it overkill to say that you Fairies have an unnaturally high tolerance for alcohol?" Another pearl of laughter came with the question.

"I'd be insulted if you didn't realize that." I joined in her laughter, until it died away. "So, how are things with Mr. Doom and Gloom?"

Rufus chocked on a laugh of his own, apparently amused by my nickname for my dark haired friend.

"He went out on a job yesterday, he should be back soon, I think." She tilted her head to the side, curiosity returning to her big brown eyes. "As for how things are going, I don't think I understand the question."

"Don't play coy with me Yuki-chan, I'm not blind you know." Her eyes lit with understanding, and she stumbled over her words.

"I-i-it's not what you think!" She finally yelled in the near silence. "I was really drunk, I never would have, like ever!" Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment now, as she tried to hide herself inside of a book.

"You don't need to be shy about it." I pulled the book down to take a good look at her. "You looked really happy."

She was a second away from denying the obvious again when we were interrupted.

"So, the Fairy is here already?" I twisted in my seat to see a very tired looking Sting Eucliffe walking towards the table.

"Does that mean you're in on it too?" I still couldn't quite bring myself to address him as Master Sting, so I decided to leave it off all together.

"I guess, Makarov sent a message to let me know someone was coming, he didn't mention who or why." To my amusement he pulled out the chair next to Yukino and spun it around so that he could prop his arms over the back. "Why isn't Natsu-san with you?"

"You weren't listening to a word I said when we came back, were you." Yukino slammed her book shut.

"Yuki-chan, it's ok." I gave her a sad smile. "You asked me exactly the same thing remember. I have to get used to it eventually."

"Get used to what?" Sting looked between us, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"That jerk won't be going anywhere with Lucy-sama anytime soon, their partnership has been dissolved." Yukino must have decided that it would be better to keep it to the professional side of our relationship, rather than discuss personal details.

"Are you serious? You two were are never apart, how did you manage to chase him off?" The words knocked the breath from my lungs as if I had been punched in the stomach.

"You idiot!" Yukino hissed quietly. "Way to be an insensitive jerk."

I took a long slow breath to gather my thoughts, and force the smile back onto my face. I may have accepted that Natsu and I weren't meant to be together, but it didn't make it any less painful. I spent a good month of my life working through the stages of grief, and I'd be damned if I let a simple comment undo everything I had worked toward.

"I said its ok and I mean it." She shot me a look that said she didn't believe me. "This is how everyone is going to react, since Natsu and I have always been partners." She opened her mouth to argue. "I'm over it Yuki-chan, I'll be fine."

"Your conversation earlier suddenly makes sense." Rufus observed with a frown. "I assume Natsu is the one who decided to break the partnership."

"No, that was my choice." I turned my full attention to the memory make mage. "Natsu made it clear that I had become a burden for him; I can't bring myself to work with someone I no longer trust."

"Ignorant asshole, I'm glad I got to slap him before you stepped in." Yukino crossed her arms over her chest. "I hate cowards who runaway."

"I think it's important for you to understand something." I gave her another serious look. "I **am** a burden to him, I don't fault him for that. Everything we've been through changed our relationship into something that he couldn't handle, and it scared him."

"You carry the same burden, and I don't see you being a coward about it." She pointed out.

"I don't expect you to fully understand, when I don't myself. One thing is absolutely certain though, being around me reminds Natsu how easy it is to end a person's life."

"It wasn't really you that died though." Yukino back pedaled.

"That is exactly why, Lucy is Lucy, her willingness to sacrifice herself devastated him more than he was willing to admit." Her eyes grew wider again. "He would never say it to me, because if he grieved over that Lucy as if she were the present me, then wouldn't the same logic have to apply to the monster who killed her?"

"Lucy, I didn't" I cut her off.

"Natsu may act like an idiot, but he is actually a very perceptive person."

"I'm not following this at all." Sting looked back and forth between us.

"Is that why he ran away?" Her mouth hung slightly open, in surprise I suppose.

"Even if he did want to deal with that burden, I would become his worst weakness." My fingers moved to slide across the burn around my wrist, remembering the moment everything finally fit into place. "I was the ignorant one, for not seeing how badly affect he was by everything. I selfishly pushed things further, and it destroyed the very thin wall of his restraint."

"I'm really lost now."

"Oh, Lucy-sama, that just makes it even worse!" Yukino cried, finally following my line of thought.

"Yukino, are you going to explain to me what is going on?" The light haired woman turned to Sting and stuck out her tongue. "Rufus, do you know what the hell they're talking about?"

"I have the gist of it, but there is one piece of information that I'm missing." Rufus looked at me expectantly.

"Eclipse, it changed everything." I could see the puzzle pieces falling into place behind Sting's blue eyes, and Rufus was nodding in a fashion that said he understood completely. There was a long silence, where they just stared at me.

"Lucy, I wouldn't blame you if you needed to go home. If it were me, I'd be absolutely terrified." She hung her head, because Rogue was her friend, and she hated to think that she'd ever be scared of him.

"I'm not scared anymore, the nightmares haven't come since that night." She studied my face for any sign that I was hiding something, so I went into it all over again. "He will never become that monster, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Rogue doesn't scare me at all, I know he won't hurt me."

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." Rufus raised a hand waving over my shoulder.

It took all of three seconds for understanding to dawn, and it hit me harder than I ever thought possible. I couldn't breath, my throat shriveling as if I had been wondering the dessert for days. I turned, and his eyes were already on me, surprise written just under the surface of his expression. I felt the air rush back into my lungs as he walked over to join us, looking to the others for an explanation.

"Master Makarov asked for a favor." Rufus started his explanation. "There is a problem with one irate fire mage at Fairy Tail, and his sights are set on a particularly special friend of our little flower, so naturally I offered to have her visit with us until the problem is resolved." I could see the anger surface behind his eyes, the slightest tightening of his fist confirming it.

"Did he hurt you again?" He grabbed my wrist so quickly that I nearly fell off my seat. "Is that why your bleeding?"

"No, I'm fine." A shiver ran through me as his thumb ran across the pink mark, then turned my hand to see the scrapes that had formed scabs. His shoulders relaxed as he put it together. I wanted to say something else, something that would reassure him that I wasn't in real danger, but the words died on my tongue. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that, Rogue's eyes roaming over me to take in every scrap and scratch, but it must have been a fair bit.

Rufus coughed politely to try and break the atmosphere that had suddenly become thick with tension. I felt my heart stop when Rogue finally released me, and took a step back. The adorable little green Exceed named Frosh was patting his face, whispering something I couldn't hear.

"You don't mind her visiting, right Rogue?" Rufus was good at concealing his jubilation under normal circumstances, but apparently it was rare to see Rogue lose his cool, and he seemed thoroughly entertained by this occurrence.

"Natsu wouldn't dare come here after the beating you gave him." Yukino added helpfully. "She'll be safe here with us."

"Wait a minute, when did Rogue beat Natsu-san up?"

"You really don't listen when I talk, do you?" Yukino spun on him, smashing the binding of her book right into the center of his head. "I told you all of this when I came back! Master Makarov wasn't going to hold it against Rogue because he wanted to beat that jerk to a pulp himself."

"Ok, ok. I get it, I'll listen next time I swear!" Suddenly I found myself doubled over, laughing hysterically.

"L-Lucy-sama are you alright?" Yukino stopped, the book raised to hit Sting in the head again. I just couldn't help it, all the tension was gone, because now I completely understood what was going on.

"Rogue, I think you broke her." Sting said out of nowhere, and I found myself laughing harder. I fought against another wave when the little red exceed hopped up on the table and repeated Sting's accusation. It took a few minutes to settle myself down, as my companions watched with a mix of amusement and horror.

"Sorry, I just." I fought back another little bout of the giggles and started again. "I just realized what this is really about. I'm fine, I swear."

"Do you want to share what's so funny?" Sting looked like he was in pain, that was a rather large book.

"My Guild is sneaky, and absolutely out of their minds."

"We already knew that." Sting crossed his arms over his chest.

"You don't need to worry about Natsu coming here, I promise." I fought off another bout of giggles, not intending to explain the whole plot that had been masterfully carried out. "When Mira found out that he broke into my apartment, she sent Freed to take care of it. Freed is rather fond of me, so he didn't have any trouble carrying out Mira's request. Natsu is now sporting a very nice collar of runes that prevents him from getting within fifty feet of me, or my property. Even if Mira did take her eyes off him, the collar prevents him from causing me harm."

"So he's on a leash like a dog?" Sting allowed himself a chuckle.

"Natsu is getting off easy considering Mira was right there when he burned me. If Rogue hadn't taken care of it so fast, a black eye would have been the least of his worries." I gave the dark haired man a smile; he returned a small one before coming to sit on the open chair next to me. "See this has nothing to do with that, it's more likely one of the old man's pranks."

"That is an elaborate prank, to send you all the way here like that." Rufus was actually dumbfounded.

"I'm sure Mira has something to do with it. Hold up, I completely forgot that I was supposed read something." I reached down and fiddled with the zipper of my bag, inside was the sealed folder addressed 'Open when you arrive'. I cracked the seal and looked inside. "This is most definitely Mira's idea."

Little pieces of folded paper drifted to the table as I opened it. The note attached to the folder was what got my attention though and I found myself laughing nervously.

Yukino's eyes went wide. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" She looked up at me with concern.

"If I try to go back they'll just send me here again. Once Mira gets started there is nothing that can change her mind." I decided to prove the point by reading the mission statement.

"Lucy, by now you are sitting in the Sabertooth Guild. You have most likely realized that this was a setup, and that whatever excuses Mr. Lore has given are at least partially false. You are a smart woman, so I'll allow you to fill in the blanks. Your official job for the next two weeks (unless you find yourself wanting to stay longer) is to enjoy yourself, and since it is an official job, your reward will be waiting here when you come home happy and smiling again. ~Mira and Master Makarov

P.S. Natsu has expressed a willingness to take his punishment, like a good boy. By the time you come home I will have finished beating manners and respect into him, that is a promise. Never doubt yourself again, you are Lucy of Fairy Tail, you deserve a better partner, and a better friend. I've heard everything, and Cana told me what was in the letter. I will make sure he understands how his words spoken or written can wound a person, and if he so much as tries to touch you ever again I will take his head."

"Mira is scary." Yukino was laughing, but she still stared nervously at the pile of papers. "She's right though, you deserve to be treated better than that."

"I know that. Do you think that what I did in the guild wasn't calculated? I know he heard every bone crack, and that cut him deeper than anything else anyone could have said or done. Partners protect each other, he got the message loud and clear."

"Is that what the burn was about then?" I watched her reach over and unfold one of the papers in curiosity.

"No, this was more personal." Again I found my fingers tracing the mark. "Jealousy makes people do ugly things, like hurt the people close to them."

"That makes sense actually." Her eyes crinkled in amusement as she put the paper aside.

"No it doesn't, why would he be jealous of you?" I turned to look at Rogue, silently amused by the question.

"He wasn't jealous of Lucy-sama, he was jealous of you." I saw something interesting flicker across his eyes, but it was gone to quickly to name it. "Natsu didn't hurt her till you stole her attention. Like a child who had to share his favorite toy."

"There was nothing childish about it." I heard myself saying. "Natsu has always appointed himself as my rescuer; he's so good at destroying things that it made him feel good to know I was the one thing he couldn't break. He would do anything to keep me safe, I've seen it. Seeing the tables turned, being helpless to stop what was happening, and to watch as someone else play the hero made him absolutely furious."

"Are you sure that you weren't dating him?" Yukino was trying to be sarcastic.

"Dating involves going on dates, and I can assure you I have never been on one." I caught the meaning of my words as they came out, and hide my face behind my bangs.

"You mean Natsu's never taken you on one." She corrected. I felt my face grow hot as she waited for me to give her affirmation, and it didn't come. "Are you serious?"

"Don't look at me like that!" She had this sparkle to her eyes, like she understood something that she wasn't telling me. "I was raised differently, the only contact I had with the opposite gender was at my father's dinner parties and society balls, until I was sixteen." I didn't met her eyes as I continued. "I couldn't stand the thought that my father was secretly planning to marry me off when I came of age, so I left. Since then my life has been a series near death experiences. There was never time to think about anything other than surviving long enough to get thrown into the next battle."

"I'm sure it's still hard for Yukino to understand that even though you are supposed to be older than her, you are actually younger." Rufus was trying to be helpful, but it just made me feel silly.

"I guess you're right. I was only a member of Fairy Tail for five months before Tenrojima was attacked, and everything since we came back has been such a whirlwind that I forget."

"That is an unsettling thought." Rufus added. "I can only imagine how powerful you would be today if that seven year gap wasn't present."

"My friends are all monsters no matter what." I laughed at his expression.

"Says the Celestial Mage who can break a seven layered protection enchantment by herself in less than a day." Yukino huffed in annoyance. "I've seen you summon two golden keys at a time, back to back. To top it off you have the ability to use the ultimate Celestial magic. Even if I didn't get to see what it looks like when it's complete."

"I'm not that great. Holder types are at a disadvantage in a fight where you're out numbered ten to one. It only makes sense to learn other skills that will make up for that weakness. There are tons off different support magics that I've started to learn over the last year or so."

"Most Mages stick with one affinity, so they can master it completely." Rufus chuckled.

"I'm not most Mages, I aim to learn the three Fairy magic one day, but I need to be S-class level before I can even imagine trying." They all gaped at me.

"You mean you aren't even top ranking?" I started to laugh at her.

"I'm not even close to those monsters!" I shook my head vehemently. "I can hold my own in a fight, but I have a very long way to go before I can even think of getting nominated for S-class. I wouldn't stand a chance against the other candidates anyway." No way in hell was I going to put myself in with the likes of Gajeel and Erza. "I'm more suited to being a cover girl like Mira anyway."

"I'm so jealous, they never ask me to do the pinup issues!" Yukino puffed her cheeks out like a child and I couldn't help myself.

"You are too cute!" I reached over and started pulling at her cheeks, laughing at how she tried to tell me to stop. "You can come with me next week, I've got a shoot in Crocus, it'll be fun."

"Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?" She rubbed her sore cheeks as she stared at me.

"The Christmas special addition is coming out soon, all the regulars are going to be there for the cover shoot." I let out a sigh. "I made a promise to Mira that I would represent the Guild this year, so I need to be there."

"If it's a promise then I guess we absolutely must go." I could tell she was getting excited. "You should probably read these, by the way." She pointed to the slips of paper that I had been trying to ignore. "They're funny."

I was about to just shove them all back into my bag when one caught my eye. It was Gray's hand writing, I was certain of that, but I didn't understand the meaning of what he had written.

"Gray wants to let you know that you have the go ahead, everyone is in agreement." I handed Rogue the piece of paper so that he could inspect it himself, and to my surprise he looked absolutely awestruck. "Gray doesn't want me to know what's going on, so it must be something important, want to explain?" He looked over the piece of paper at me, and gave me a devastating smile.

"Why would I want to do that?" There was amusement behind his eyes, making his smile all the more breath taking. On some level I hated how good that smile looked on him, or rather I hated that it made me weak at the knees.

"I have a feeling that whatever you two are being so secretive about is the reason Mira and the old man sent me here." He was about to say something probably deny he had any involvement, but Yukino had jumped on my back, breaking the eye contact, I hissed as my forehead hit the table, but didn't move a muscle.

"Lucy-sama, you need to put your things away, come on, you'll be staying with me while your here!"

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><p>An hour or so later I was standing in front of a floor length mirror, admiring just how nicely my black leather pants made my butt look. My hair was hanging loosely down my back tickling the small amount of bare skin between the waist of my pants and the bottom of the cropped cotton tee shirt. I shivered against the still damp locks as they slid across my spine.<p>

"Your clothes are so flattering, Lucy-sama." The light haired woman twisted in one of my dark skirts and a cream colored top. I had no idea how she was planning on going out in her strapy high heeled shoes, but I knew that I would need to find out her secret, and fast. Mira hadn't packed my normal boots or even a pair of sneaker, every pair had a heel at least three inches high.

"I'm glad you like them." I was happy to see that Mira had packed for the cold weather, placing my fluffy white winter coat and my favorite red leather jacket. "Which one?" I held up the two jackets, and waited.

"The red will look better with those pants." I nodded, happy with her assessment, and pulled it on. I searched through the accessory bag that Mira had used so my jewelry wouldn't get lost and pulled out silver earring. One of the new belt I had purchased was in their as well, the light grey leather was perfect. I transferred my keys and whip before I noticed a small pouch, with a small note attached to the front.

"Spending money so you can teach the little Tigress how to party like a Fairy. ~Cana and everyone else that wanted to chip in."

"That is unnerving." She shifted to her closet and pulled out a simple white coat that only fell to her waist. "But I suppose now I know where to take you tonight."

"We can stay in, it's not that big a deal." I offered as I dropped on the bed.

"It'll be fun, maybe we could even get some of the guys to come with us." I couldn't tell her no, not when she looked so excited.

"That does sound like fun." I pulled on my boots and fastened the belt around my hips, making sure everything was even. I did my makeup last, going far more dramatic then usual to suit all the dark leather I was wearing.

"Are you ready?" Yukino had gone pretty in pink, all light and girly.

"As I'll ever be!" I sang linking my arm through hers.

* * *

><p>I took the opportunity to let loose a little, and wedged the door open with my foot forcefully. Yukino trailed just behind me as we walked back to the table; I heard her giggle at her wide eyed guild mates.<p>

"Why are you two all dressed up this late in the day?" Sting wasn't one to mince words so I wasn't going to bother either.

"I'm going to teach Yuki-chan how to party the right way." I settled my hands on my bare hips and raised one eyebrow at him. "Cana was beside herself that you boys haven't taught her how to hold her liquor properly."

"I'm not exactly thrilled about that, but I'm not going to argue." Yukino leaned her thigh against the table and gave a sweet smile. "Just the two of us drinking and partying the night away should be fun. We may even have to stay overnight." I gave a proud smile, happy to see she could accomplish this level of seduction while sober.

"Oh I have to take care of something before we can go anywhere." I flipped through my keys and summoned Aries, brushing off her first apology of the day.

"What can I do for you, Lucy?" She asked shyly.

"If you can keep Loki in the Spirit world all night I will grant you one request, anything you want." She tilted her head to the side, as if she wasn't sure if she should agree. "I don't need him trying to kidnap me while I'm having a good time."

"A jealous lion scares off men, and we can't have that." Yukino had an evil smirk on her lips.

"I was going to say over protective, but yes. I don't want him ruining my fun two times in one week." I heard Rogue chuckle a little, and knew I was headed in the right direction. "I left his key behind, but you know as well as I do that it doesn't stop him from coming to track me down."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"Nope, feel free to use any means necessary to keep him occupied, especially if he notices I don't have his key on me." she vanished in a plump of sparkles and I let myself relax. "That takes care of that." Yukino nodded, and turned back to Sting.

"If you're not super busy I suppose we wouldn't mind the company." She pulled away from the table patting Lector on the head as she came back over to where I was standing.

"You're coming too Mr. Doom and Gloom."

"I'm really not up for it tonight." He stared at a sleepy Frosh, absently patting his soft fur.

"It's cute how you think that was a question." Yukino placed her hands on her hips so she was mirroring my exact stance. "You can walk out of here and willingly put on something nice, or we will drag you in what you've got on. That is the only choice we are offering."

"I'm not in the mood to play baby sitter tonight." He crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to look over at us. I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach. Normally I would have screamed that I didn't need a baby sitter, and stormed right out the door, dragging Yukino with me. For some reason I just couldn't, and his comment stung me instead of infuriating me.

"Please." My voice was barely a whisper, as I continued. "It won't be the same without you, please come with us." I didn't care to analyze the situation past the fact that my whole being was screaming that he needed to be there. "I promise I'll be on my best behavior." I hadn't realized that I had started to tear up until I saw his shoulders tense.

"Ok, I'll go." I couldn't stop myself from launching forward and wrapping my arms around his back. "There's no reason to cry about it."

"Thank you." He nodded, his feathery black hair tickling my nose. I hesitated a second, not wanting to let go, but forced myself to retreat knowing that I shouldn't be hanging all over him. I blinked several times, forcing the tears back, replacing them with my brightest smile.

"I guess I can spare some time, if Rogue is going." Sting grabbed the dark haired man by the collar and proceeded to drag him out of the room.

**Rogue is so weak to tears. T.T lol thanks for reading. If you have comments or concerns please feel free to review or PM. These conversations impact the story, I promise they do.**


	10. It's not a d-d-d-date!

**::Warning:: This week's chapter may cause excessive blushing, screaming at the author, and/or brutally murdering the electronic device you are about to read it on. Please read with caution. I am not responsible for any and all property damage. Enjoy Responsibly!  
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><p>I watched, biting my bottom lip to hold back a laugh as Sting dragged the dark haired mage across the floor; I mouthed 'sorry' as he disappeared behind the doors that lead to the main corridor. He looked annoyed beyond belief, and I knew I was the reason for his discomfort. I should have felt bad, but I couldn't help but be amused by how much he resembled a spoiled child with his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his mouth.<p>

"That is something I have no memory of seeing before." Rufus laced his fingers together as he leaned forward on his elbows. "Yukino, have you ever witnessed such a special event?"

I looked over at my light haired friend to see her mouth hanging open; she was still staring at the place Rogue had been sitting, absolutely frozen. I heard Rufus start to let out a dignified sort of laugh, light and airy.

"Yuki-chan, are you alright?" My hands waving back in forth in front of her face seemed to do the trick; she turned on me, the dark emotion that I hadn't been able to fully understand clouding her eyes.

"That's twice now, how do you keep doing it?" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "In all the years I've known that man he has NEVER given in so easily." I took a step back as she stared daggers at me.

"All I did was say please." I shrugged my shoulders, and found that I had backed into the table, leaving her bearing down on me with nowhere to run. "I-I'm sorry?"

"It would seem Rogue has taken a liking to you, Miss. Lucy." Rufus gave me a playful smile, and motioned for me to have a seat. "Though I cannot blame him, you tend to have that effect on people."

"We're friends; it would be strange if he didn't like me." I brushed off his comment quickly, trying my best not to leave room for argument.

"Lucy-sama, you bewitched him didn't you?" Yukino pushed me into the seat, and dropped herself into the seat next to me, her glare burning hot with curiosity, and yes that was absolutely a mild version of Juvia's fierce jealousy. Now I found myself wondering why the hell she was jealous of me. What had I done to deserve her jealousy?

"Don't be ridiculous. I wanted him to come so I asked nicely, that's it, end of conversation." She wasn't going to back down that easily so I tried my best to avert her attention. "S-so Rufus, have you read any good books lately?" I stuttered trying to get out of the Miraesque stare of my light haired friend.

"You need to explain it to me, I've never been able to get him to do what I want!" She grabbed my cheeks and turned my face back to hers. "I know!" She gave a measured glance around the room before leaning in so she could whisper her question in my ear. "You slipped a potion into his drink at the club right? That's why he's been falling all over himself around you?" I tried my best not to look flustered as I mentally prepared myself for whatever my next few sentences would bring about.

"You are way off base." She continued to stare.

"Why else would he willingly do those things?" I felt nervous sweat gather at the base of my neck as I decided to distract her. I knew it might not work, but it was my best shot at getting her to focus elsewhere

"Don't laugh, ok." I pointed a finger at her, and she nodded enthusiastically. "I didn't do anything strange, I just kind of told him why I left. I was embarrassed that I didn't know how to dance, well, like you and Cana, so he offered to teach me. He was just being nice." I didn't like the new face splitting grin she was wearing, or the gleam of mischief that made her eyes sparkle.

"Oh did he now?" She was about to dig for more information when the doors opened again, letting in the dragon slayer duo. Yukino let go of my face as she spun to inspect the two men; I followed her gaze, and found myself smiling.

I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away, no matter how much I tried. He looked perfect, from the tip of his dark leather boots to his loose black jacket, draped over a dress shirt that was nearly the same shade of red as the jacket I was wearing. Rogue looked far more comfortable in his own causal wear. My fingers twitched when I noticed that he had left his hair loose, allowing it to fall around his shoulders. I wanted so badly to feel it between my fingers, now that I had a taste of how soft it really was.

Yukino had left her seat at some point during my observation, and had begun a hushed conversation with Sting. Something about the way she looked over her shoulder at me made my stomach knot with nerves. It screamed that she was planning something, and most likely it wouldn't end well for me.

"Oi, Orga, do you mind looking after Lector and Frosh while we're out?" Sting called quietly thanks to the glare from Yukino. I hadn't even noticed that the two fur balls had curled up next to a stack of Yukino's books till that moment. Orga was quick to agree, and set himself at the table with Rufus. "Thanks, Rufus you know what to do if any one needs me."

"You kids have fun!" Rufus and Orga chorused with eerie grins. I laughed quietly as they both shooed us away with their hands.

I said my good byes as quietly as I could, not really paying attention to my surroundings. I nearly pitched forward when my heel caught the chair's leg but I was stopped by two steady hands on my shoulders. I hadn't even noticed Rogue was behind me, and I cursed inwardly for being so clumsy in front of him. It seemed to be a new condition that I was suffering from, where my brain decided to faint any time he was too close to me.

I muttered a thank you and moved over to Yukino with purpose. "This was your idea, so lead the way." Her eyes twinkled with delight and I expected her to loop her arm through mine, instead she reached for Sting. She wrapped his arm with her own and dragged him on ahead, calling that we could take our time.

"I guess that means you're stuck with me tonight." I turned a shy smile on my companion. "That's ok, right?"

His response was to offer his arm, and I did my best not to let him see how nervous I suddenly was. I stared at his jacket for a moment, swallowing hard as I gathered my courage. He chuckled as I looped my arm through his, and allowed him to steer me towards the corridor.

A comfortable silence fell between us as Rogue led the way. I caught myself watching him as we walked, admiring every aspect of his features. I felt like a total crazy person for being intoxicated by the scent of him, and knew that I should be checked into a mental institution for leaning in so I could allow myself to be engulfed in it. Under normal circumstances I would have been trying to rationalize why I was able to be completely at ease, and yet so high strung at the same time, but my brain was on auto pilot. My thoughts were limited, especially with the task of walking over the rocky terrain in my heeled boots. I was going to have to have words with Mira about that one.

_Oh my stars, why am I so nervous?_

"I'm going to apologize in advance; I'm not sure how well I can walk over rocks in these shoes." We had already made it out into the court yard, and as if my body needed to prove my point I tripped on a stone halting our progress for a moment.

_Smooth Lucy, real smooth._

"It's ok, I'm sure those two won't mind a little distance between us." I adjusted my grip on his arm and started walking again.

"I'm starting to think that isn't a good thing for either of us." He shrugged his shoulders, dismissively.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." I pondered over that for a second, and then I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"You're in on it too, aren't you?" He laughed, shaking his head. "You know what's going on though."

"I think I've figured it out, but I'm not telling you." He was teasing me, the nerve of him. "You'll just have to play along for a while longer."

"Oh, I have a good idea of what Yukino's aim is. I'm just not sure why she's doing it." Heat flooded my cheeks; I had really hoped that it was my imagination, but since he had just confirmed my suspicion I knew I should be scared. I refused to let myself think too deeply into it though, that would involve questions and answers that my mind screamed I wasn't ready for.

_This almost feels like a… a… a d-d-date. Stop talking crazy, there is no way that this is a d-d-date!_

"Does it matter in the long run? She'll do what she wants, so try not to let it bother you too much." I nodded my agreement, hoping to settle back into the comfortable silence before my thoughts could spiral out of control. It was too late though, even though he had placed his focus on keeping me upright, my inner voice began to chatter in stereo. The silence became my enemy as thoughts I had been suppressing drove their way to the forefront of my overactive mind.

_Is Yukino trying to push us together? Does that mean she was telling the truth about her actions being completely due to the alcohol? If that's the case, I should be annoyed that she's trying to set us up, right? Rogue doesn't seem to mind, but he also didn't seem to mind indulging her at the club. Why am I even concerned about that? I should be more concerned with why I feel the sudden need to bury my fingers in his hair! Why the hell can't I seem to think properly with him around?_

I spent the rest of the trip trying to rationalize the whole thing, going over everything from that night in Hosenka to the morning I had said good bye to both of them.

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><p><em>The early morning light filter through my window, rudely disturbing my peaceful dreams. I groaned as I tried to open my eyes, the pounding of my hangover setting in. I shifted, and was met with moans and growls of protest, and that's when I remembered that I wasn't alone. I let a smile curl my lips as I tested my surroundings.<em>

_Left leg. "That tickles." That was Lisanna._

_Left arm. "One more hour, I'll kill them all in one more hour." Erza._

_Right arm. "Luuuuucy-sama." Yukino._

_I went to lift my head. "Sleepy." Levy. _

_I laughed quietly, but I knew they needed to get off me soon, because I really had to pee. I took a deep breath and prayed that Yukino would forgive me for it later, then I shoved her to the floor. _

_"Sorry!" I cried as I ran to my closet. I heard laughter behind me and three female voices hissing in pain. _

_"Lucy, make breakfast." That was Gray whining from the other room. "Wait, why are you in the close?" I gather new clothes for the day before darting into the bathroom. _

_"I'm taking a shower first." I called out to him. _

_It was the fastest shower of my life, and I found myself rushing through the rest of my morning routine before heading into the kitchen. I looked around at the mess that my friends had made and sighed. I never really thought I would have missed cleaning up after them, but I had. I smiled as I walked over to my dresser and grabbed an elastic band to tie my hair back and started cleaning the place up. I made sure to start an enormous pot of coffee first, of course._

_When I was satisfied I pulled down whatever I could find in hopes of feeding the hungry masses, but when I stopped to count how many mouths I was feeding, I realized that only Yukino, Gray and a lump wrapped tightly in a blanket on my sofa with an unruly tuft of black hair was left. _

_"Where did everyone go?" I asked Gray, since he seemed to be the only one awake enough to give a proper answer. _

_"Back to bed, Cana was mumbling about you being out of vodka and orange juice on her way out." He yawned, and landed in one of the chairs at my table. I shook my head and adjusted my plans as I poured Gray his coffee (over ice of course, as if he would ever drink it hot) with sugar and cream. He hummed his approval as I set to work, tugging on an apron from my pantry to keep my clothes nice. _

_By the time I had everything ready Yukino and an extremely disheveled Rogue had wondered over. _

_"Food." Yukino moaned like the zombie she resembled. I laughed and set a plate in front of her along with coffee. I did the same for Rogue leaving Gray as the last. It was a punishment for sitting at my table in nothing but his underpants. He whined that I was being unfair, and I just scowled at him. _

_My companions washed up, and we headed to the guild hall, I was looking forward to spending another day with them. It had been a long time since I had felt so alive, and I couldn't help the smile that was permanently plastered to my face. _

_When we got inside, Mira called me over, and Master Makarov had a quiet discussion with my two Sabertooth friends. _

_It was shortly after that the light haired woman came to me with an apologetic smile. She had fulfilled her promise to me, and it was time to go home. I walked the two of them to the exit and we exchanged our farewells. I gave them both a hug, one arm around each, and promised that I would visit them next time.  
><em>

I didn't want to see them go so soon, but I knew they both had their own lives to return to. The life style we chose doesn't allow for much down time, and being in separate Guilds meant we would rarely ever see each other. The thought had struck me as I watched the two of them walk away. It left me feeling a little empty, and my mood soured considerably. I tried to hide it, but Mira and the others must have noticed how affect I was by their departure. Was it really so bad that they felt the need to send me back to them?

_Who am I trying to kid, I was miserable when they left, and the second we were together again I felt as light as a feather._

"Lucy-sama, we're here!" I dragged my eyes from the paved road (_when did we leave the mountain?) _to see a tall building with a familiar red rope around the outside. The sign over the building's entrance said **Molly's, **it was a place I had seen many times before as I came and went on jobs toward the west. There was a sweets shop not too far down the road that Erza had to stop in every time we passed through. This town, Everwood, was only a two hour walk away from my own guild. I'd been through here a thousand times over the years. _This isn't right._ We hadn't been walking for more than two hours at the most, since the sun was just setting. If that was true then Sabertooth was about four hour walk from my own Guild.

"How did we get here so fast?" It didn't make any sense; I had to have been in that carriage for hours. I tried to do the math, but it just didn't add up.

"I forgot that you have no clue where we are! Magnolia is actually only a little ways to the East." She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

"I missed something." Rogue looked at me expectantly.

"Apparently Lucy wasn't conscious when she arrived." Sting informed.

"Let's see it was around nine that I talked with Master about my last job, and it was what, two maybe three by the time Orga grabbed me in the courtyard. That's just too big of a time difference!" I was a little panicked, what else had they done while I was sleeping? It could have been any number of things, I did a mental check to makes sure I had all my appendages; I knew there wasn't anything on my face, because I had showered. My hair was the same length as when I woke in the morning, what the hell did they do?

"Lucy-sama, take a deep breath, it's not worth it." She tugged my arm, pulling me away from Rogue. I felt the chill immediately and it brought my mind back to my present predicament. I let myself take a deep breath and turned to face her. "See much better." She gave me a sweet smile.

"They did something to me... I don't know what it is yet, but there are several unaccounted hours and that means trouble. I'm going to have to kill them all; it's the only solution that will satisfy me at this point." She laughed at me, happy that I was joking around again.

"You can plot your revenge later. Tonight is for having fun! Tell me again, what did Cana's note say?" She tilted her head, her smile growing into a twisted smirk.

"Teach the little Tigress how to party like a Fairy." I forced myself to relax as she dragged me toward the entrance of the establishment, Yukino flashed the bouncer a smile, and he greeted her by name. Apparently she was a regular.

"And how does a Fairy party?" She tilted her head to the side as we stopped at the bar.

"All or nothing." She had a determined expression on her face, and I let out a sigh. "Are you sure you want to do this? The crash course isn't always pretty; I was passed out for three days after my first initiation."

"I want to be able to at least keep up that next time I visit you." I took my time to measure her expression for any doubt before I made my decision. I found an excitement there that made it hard to turn her down.

She watched intently as I leaned over the bar, garnering the bartenders attention. He was quick to offer us the special, saying that it was a two for one night. I politely declined the fruity cocktails, and pulled a small wad of bills from the pouch on my belt.

"I'm going to need three bottles of top shelf rum please, and six shot glasses." I twisted to my other two companions with a smile, letting them know that they would be participating as well. The man behind the bar picked up the bundle with a large smile and let me know he would be happy to get me whatever I needed for the rest of the night. I gave him a wink before he went to fill my order.

"There are a few rules to keep in mind when partying with Fairy Tail. Firstly, don't challenge Cana, she will destroy you without mercy. Secondly don't drink with Juvia alone, she will murder you if you so much as mention Gray in any way, shape or form, even if you are a guy; it happens when Lyon visits from time to time. Third NEVER take your eyes off Mira, if she is in the room you absolutely must pay attention or she'll start plotting your inevitable demise; if at any point the word babies comes out of her mouth, RUN, run as fast and as far as you can." Yukino couldn't stop herself from laughing openly at my rules. "There are more, but it could take all night to cover them all, so I'll leave it at those three for now. If this was an official initiation, Cana would give you the 'rite of passage' speech then make you drink till you drop, but I don't want to do that here. So instead, we'll work on your tolerance, because honestly you are a lightweight."

"We could have done that at the guild." Sting pointed out.

"This isn't just about drinking, Lucy-sama needs this." She gave him a death stare that meant to leave it at that. He put up his hands in defense and laughed. "I think I do as well." I patted her head in a loving manner and agreed; we both needed to let loose and have some fun.

I filled four of the shot glasses when the bar tender made a noise to let me know he had been there listening the whole time. I gave him a nod to let him know that I would call if I needed anything else, before turning back to my companions, handing one shot to each of them.

"I will drink two for every one you can finish. That will give you an idea of how far you need to expand your tolerance to catch up." I held the shot up for a quick toast, before kicking it back.

My three companions took their shots as well, and I collected the glasses, taking my second shot before I refilled them. I pushed Yukino two cups and took the other two for myself. I handed the last two over to the men. "You two can have whatever you want; I've got the tab tonight." I turned my attention back to Yukino. "Drink the first then count to fifteen. You can drink the second only after you count. If at any point you can't count past ten tell me, ok?" She agreed to the rules and did as I instructed. "Again."

I don't know how long it took for her to tap out, but as I measured the bottles I realized it was less than I had expected. I handed her my bottle, and took hers for myself.

"This part is important, because it is how Fairy Tail operates in general, we always go down fighting. Fairies never admit defeat, not even to the likes of a bottle of alcohol. Finish the bottle or pass out trying, that is the only option you have now." She was already bright pink around the cheeks, and I could tell this was going to be her real test. I held the bottle up to my lips and drank it down without coming up for a breath. I set the empty bottle on the bar with a wicked smile "Drink it, now."

She was hesitant at first; it was obvious she was already feeling the effects of what she had consumed. I didn't care; she had started something so now she needed to finish it. "This is less than I drank before we even got to the club last time." I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled until she obeyed. She gave a small cheer slamming the bottle on the counter when she had finished.

"Congratulations you are an honorary Fairy for the night!" She laughed, and clapped her hands, only slightly off balance. "I need two shots of fire whiskey."

The bar tender put them on the counter, his eyes crinkled from laughter, it would seem he stuck around to watch the whole thing. I handed one to Yukino, watching the flames dance on the surface of the dark liquid.

"There is one last thing to remember, you should never trust the company you keep while drinking, because Fairies enjoy their pranks. If you let your guard down, you will end up regretting it, so try your best to be the last one standing, because we party till we drop."

I blew out the flames on my glass and threw it back, enjoying the familiar burn as it slipped down my throat.

"The next time we do this I'll add four more shots and so on; eventually you'll build a tolerance. I have almost three year of training and I still can't even dream of challenging Cana." I cracked open the third bottle and went straight to drinking from it.

"Next time you should stay at the guild, it's easier." Sting commented again.

"That's fine with me, but you'll have to join us, I'm curious as to whether you're a worthy opponent." He attempted to stare me down, but I just blinked at him, finishing off the bottle with a smirk of my own. "Yuki-chan, are you ready to go dance now?"

"Yeah!" She dragged me off into the mass of moving bodies, only stopping when she found a space large enough that I could see her clearly. "I'm going to show you some tricks, ok?" I gave her a look letting her know I was questioning her sanity. "Let me help you a little, please!" She whined, as she grabbed my arm.

"It was embarrassing enough just to tell you." She laughed at my awkwardness and started to force me to follow her movements. I tried my best to keep up with her, knowing that I wasn't doing very well. I forced myself to keep my attention on her, not wanting to see people staring at me.

"You need to be comfortable in your own skin before you dance with a partner." She called twisting her hips as she swayed to the music.

_Right, if I can get comfortable moving like that alone then it should be easier to do it with someone else. _

My face burned at the thought. Everything about these motions screamed intimate and private, but there I was twisting and dipping, with my loose hair flying all around me. I rocked from side to side, letting my hands slide up my sides the same way Yukino was. I told myself not to run for cover, because this was something I needed to do in order to get back to being the confident person I knew I once had been.

I was partially aware that our circle had been getting smaller, but it wasn't until Yukino spoke that I realized we had a group of men that wanted to enjoy a dance with one, or possibly both of us.

"Sorry boys, we aren't looking to hook up." She moved closer to me as if to tell them to back off, and it seemed to work a little. I was flushed, but the attention gave me a small confidence boost, and I found it a tad bit easier to make the movements wilder.

"That's it, just let it all go and enjoy the feeling." She picked up the pace as the rhythm of the song changed, twisting and turning, bouncing and dipping. It was a minute later that we both spotted our escorts pushing their way through the crowd, and I thought I might die of embarrassment. Yukino gave me a grin and grabbed my arm. "He's all yours tonight."

Protesting was the furthest thing from my mind as she practically threw me into Rogue, I watched over his shoulder as she pranced the rest of the way to Sting. She slung her arms around his shoulders as if she'd done it a thousand times before. He had a smug grin on his face directed at the men who she had told to back off as he locked his arms around her back. It was almost like he knew she would come to him, as if that was the only rational option. The song changed again and they began to sway slowly, barely any space between them.

* * *

><p><strong> Said she'd never been in love before<strong>

* * *

><p>"So that's what you needed to be here for?" I felt him laugh, his voice soft in my ear.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Tried the best she could to hide herself away<strong>

* * *

><p>"Yukino insisted." I didn't bother to pull away so we could have a proper conversation, since being so close was already beginning to affect my balance. A shiver ran up my spine as his hands worked their way down my sides to rest on the bare skin just above my hips. I immediately responded by wrapping my arms around his shoulders, leaning into his chest to lose myself in his steady heartbeat.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>He thought he heard a voice calling out so slow<br>Come and take me away from all this pain**

* * *

><p>My mind was short circuited when I found that it was anything but steady. My own heart was sent into overdrive, as I listened to it beat wildly.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I see you sitting there at the window sill<br>Looking for shooting stars**

* * *

><p><em>What has him so flustered?<em>

* * *

><p><strong>I wanna get closer and closer still<br>I wanna take over your heart  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Did it help?"<p>

* * *

><p><strong>He tried to be the one to catch her eye<strong>  
><strong> But she would only turn away and hide<strong>

* * *

><p>"I don't know." Lying to myself wasn't working when his fingertips burned against my skin, igniting a feeling that raced just under the surface like white hot lightening. It was the same as it had been at the other club, and I found myself losing the will to care about anything other than keeping him there with me.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><strong> <strong>He started to concoct a plan<strong>  
><strong> To get her to return the feelings that he had<strong>  
><strong> To show her how he thought they were entwined<strong>****

* * *

><p>No other person had inspired such intense feelings in me, leaving me breathless and absolutely needing more. I had thought that Natsu ignited a fire in my veins, but it was a match compared to this inferno.<p>

* * *

><p><strong> <strong>Little crushed hopes every day<strong>  
><strong> Waiting in the wings to spirit her away<strong>**  
><strong>**

* * *

><p>Natsu had touched me millions of times, but this had never happened.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><strong>I see you sitting there at the window sill<strong>  
><strong> Looking for shooting stars<strong>**

* * *

><p>I wanted Rogue to ignite this burning sensation over every inch of me; I needed that from him. I'd never felt as exposed as I did under the gaze of the man standing in front of me, and I sure as hell had never wanted to feel that way with anyone else.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><strong> I wanna get closer and closer still<strong>  
><strong> I wanna take over your heart<strong>**

* * *

><p>I was drawn to the dark haired man, and I was helpless to stop it, not that I was going to try resisting.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><strong><strong>You will be mine, mine<strong>  
><strong> Over time, time<strong>  
><strong> You're gonna find, find<strong>  
><strong> I'll make you mine, mine<strong>****

********('You will be mine' Lenka :partial lyrics:)********

* * *

><p>The music changed in the background of my thoughts, and I found myself responding to it. Denial wasn't an option anymore; I was past that point, as I let the sensation of his hands moving slowly on my hips wash over me like a wave. I was being pulled under, losing my breath, from such a simple action. I needed to find a way to get my breath back before I started panting.<p>

He protested as I pulled away, tightening his grip so I couldn't fully escape. I let a smile curl my lips as some of the nerves vanished. I took a deep breath and reached down to removed his hands, keeping my eyes locked with his until I twisted. I waited a moment, ready for the embarrassment to take over, but it didn't come.

_It's now or never._

He inhaled sharply against my ear as I leaned back molding myself to his chest, enjoying the feel of solid muscle under me. I moved with purpose now, my goal was to make him just as breathless as I was. He responded by locking his hands around the exposed tops of my hip bones, pulling me closer still (I was amazed that it was even possible to get closer than we already were). My hands ran from my thighs upward across his hands, and continued until they were in the air as I slid down slowly.

I could feel his warm breath fan out over my ear, sending a shot of electricity through me, when I returned to my previous position. I let my arms fall backward, racking my fingers through his dark soft locks, the very thing I had been trying not to do all night. Any misgivings I had before this point vanished when I felt him run his fingers from the tops of my hip bones till the end of my cropped tee-shirt and back down again.

This was what it was supposed to feel like when you wanted to be with someone, the burning need to have them close to you. Understanding set in giving me the courage I needed; I broke his hold again to spin around. I saw my desires mirrored in his brilliant red eyes, and I was almost undone. I had to slow this down, or I would lose control completely. My arms moved up to wrap around his neck again, but kept myself far enough away that I could study his face. Every inch of me ached to close the distance once more, but I knew that if I gave in I would pass the point of no return. I settled for twirling a piece of his hair around my finger before I tried to talk.

"How did I do?" I gave a shy smile.

"Are you sure you just learned how to do that?" He smiled down at me, and I found it even harder to fight against the gravitational pull he was emitting. I felt his finger glide along the line of my pants then his thumbs hooked into my belt. I was pulled back against him, his cheek resting against mine. It surprised me enough to get a gasp out of me. "That's twice that you've decided to ignore every man in the room, except me." My breath caught in my throat when I felt the soft skin of his lips brush against my ear.

_I should be a puddle right now, oh my stars I'm going to melt._

"Is that so?" I whispered back, making sure that my lips grazed his ear just as he had done. He hissed in response. "I guess you're just a lucky guy." He pulled back, letting a soft laugh escape. There was a spark of amusement in his completely unguarded eyes, mixing in with desire that made my head swim.

_Am I flirting with him? I think I am. Have I ever done that before? I don't think I've ever really tried. _

_Interesting._

"I'm glad I decided to come with." He didn't let me get another word in as he spun me around and locked his hands around my waist. I didn't protest, as we began to move to the music again. My heart pounded in my chest, my lungs burned for oxygen, but I couldn't make myself stop. I was so lost in his presence that nothing else held my attention for long enough to matter.

I could have spent hours like that, twisting and grinding to the music, letting my dance partner dictate the speed and position accordingly. If I thought it was exhilarating to show off the few moves I had learned, then it was beyond words to have him dominate the situation. I was in heaven, every part of my body was humming between exhaustion and the sensations of being burned alive, but I never wanted it to stop.

With every new song we both grew more aggressive. I loved the feel of his hands roaming up to comb through my loose hair, as much as I enjoyed the sensation of his hair under my own fingers. Somewhere deep inside the voice was screaming that I needed to stop, that I was getting in over my head again, but I didn't want to listen. He spun me again so we were facing one another. I was breathing heavily, from the last song's tempo and was thankful for the short break.

The next song was slow and steady, and he had his arms wrapped around my back, giving me the room I needed to catch my breath.

_His eyes are so beautiful, I could just lose myself in them._

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine, trying to catch his own breath. We were only a few short inches away from each other, if I wanted to all I'd need to do was lean forward, and his lips would mold against mine.

For the first time in hours I felt absolutely embarrassed by my thoughts, but I couldn't stop myself from letting my eyes travel down to inspect his mouth. I could feel the same pulled as before, only this time I wanted nothing more than to know the taste of those lips.

I inched closer, biting my bottom lip in anticipation and let my eyes flutter closed.

"What does the fox say? He says it's time to go!"

A proverbial bucket of ice water was dumped over my head when Yukino and Sting broke into our little universe, bringing with them the reality of what I was about to do. I took a step back, my whole being radiating heat from my embarrassment. Yukino wasted no time as she linked her arm through mine, giggling like a school girl. She practically dragged me to the exit, humming happily.

_I was going to kiss him, oh my stars I really have gone insane!_


	11. My angel and my devil

**Happy December Holiday of your choosing! I'm off to bake a ham and wrap gifts for my children. Enjoy the chapter, and you all are awesome for reviewing! It makes my heart feel warm, especially IzzyLovesRoLu, but remember that I said I'm not liable for damaged devices. XD**

**Same disclaimer goes for this week and every week after! Be prepared to blush and scream ... maybe even cry a little. Read responsibly, I recommend a pillow to muffle that squeals and/or screams. **

**The next chapter will be up on New Years Eve, so maybe I'll throw in something nice for you all.**

* * *

><p>My head was swimming with so much adrenaline and embarrassment that I moved without any protests as Yukino dragged me across the crowded dance floor. The thought that I had been about to kiss Rogue was just bouncing back and forth scrambling the precious few brain cell that hadn't turned to mush. I felt myself split between wishing I had been able to taste his lips, and kicking myself because we barely knew each other. There was also the alcohol to consider, I was perfectly fine, but how much had he had to drink?<p>

The night air that hit me once we passed through the exit, made my sweat soaked skin bristle in protest; I shivered, my teeth chattering angrily as we walked into the wind. My hair was flying all over the place, my warm breath making white puffs of mist form in the chilled atmosphere. I half expected it to start snowing, but the clear skies made that impossible. Instinctively I huddled closer to Yukino, wishing I had chosen to wear my large fluffy coat instead of the cool leather one that stopped at the base of my rib cage.

As we made our way back to the mountain path the shock began to settle, allowing my mind to fully process what had transpired over the last few hours. I had willingly put myself in a very compromising situation with a person who made me lose all sense and reason. I swallowed hard, my face burning as I thought about how much of my bare skin his hands had explored, and out in public at that. I didn't even want to process the fact that my body was aching to turn right around and latch back onto the man who was making me lose my mind. I held a solid leash on those impulses, happy that my mind was functioning somewhat properly again. I needed to remedy that handicap quickly or I might lose what little sanity I still had.

"You had a lot of fun tonight." I jumped as Yukino whispered in my ear, my whole face burning brighter at her comment. "Maybe a little to much."

I said nothing, not trusting my voice, or the distance between the two of us and our companions who were trailing slightly behind. I knew for a fact that they would both be able to hear with no trouble. _Stupid Dragon slayer hearing._ I made sure to focus on my feet, making it look like I hadn't heard a word she said due to concentration, and of course the howling wind.

"Lucy." I looked at her, startled by the way she said my name. "The talk we had in Hosenka, do you remember it?" She kept her voice nice and low, her tone as serious as Erza when her beautiful cake gets smashed into oblivion. I numbly nodded my head, letting her know that I had committed it to my memory. "I meant every word of it."

"The same goes for me." I smiled, knowing what she was implying.

"Things fall apart so better things can come together." Yukino's eyes sparkled with mischief again.

"Without even realizing it, right?" She laughed lightly and nodded her agreement.

I let my head fall back, looking up at the full moon and the sparkling stars for a long minute. Letting all the thoughts from the past couple of days swirl around me in a maelstrom of confusion and clarity. This is where my problems really came to life, as I started to allow my mind to compare my feelings. For years I assumed that what I felt for my fiery best friend had been love, it only made sense. With Natsu anything was possible, we feed off each other in ways that made me feel like we were a perfect fit for one another. He made me feel safe and warm; I took comfort in those feelings.

When I dove down deeper than I had ever allowed myself, it came to a single moment when my subconscious made the distinction for me. I'd given Natsu my first kiss, and I'd felt absolutely nothing. The way it happened made it easy to deny that the lack of a spark was because we weren't attracted to each other. I told myself that if Natsu had returned the kiss I would have felt something more. Natsu's letter was more than enough to drill home the point that we couldn't be more than friends though. I had still hung onto my denial, until Cana read the letter and there was no way to hide myself away anymore. I was forced to face the truth that night, and the conversation with my three friends had brought a whole new side of the situation to light.

I had burned the letter in secrecy after everything that had happened, but it wasn't like I needed a physical copy anymore. The words had been inscribed in my memory after so many night spent trying to find some other meaning that wouldn't lead to the inevitable.

_Lucy, _

_I don't know what to say to you. I think you need to take some time and get your head on straight, your weirdness is at an all time high. I'm sorry if what I've been doing has added to it, but I've only ever tried to keep you safe. You get into trouble when I'm not looking, and I know I'd go insane if I left you to do what ever you wanted. I don't think I can do it anymore though. You just keep doing things that make it harder for me. I'm sorry Lucy._

_~Natsu_

_PS. Please let the others know that Happy and I will be back, there is a forest to the North West of Fiore that I haven't been to, and I'm going there now to look for Igneel. I don't know how long I'll be gone for, but hopefully when I come back you'll have come to your senses._

Oh how I did come to my senses. Even if his choice of words was poor, it was clear that Natsu and I needed to take a step back and prioritizes what was important to us. Natsu chose his path, taking himself as far from me as possible. What he didn't understand was that his absence was the thing that would hurt me the most. Rejection of my feelings was one thing, but rejection of my whole person was another. In those few sentences he made it clear that looking after me was more than he could handle, and that he was no longer willing to do so.

In return, I was no longer willing to make myself his burden, no matter how harsh that reality was. Whether I loved him or not, I would push him away to save him from whatever it was that we had become. It wasn't something anyone around us was going to understand completely, but Natsu and I both knew that we couldn't continue the way we had before.

This is where the voices deep inside me started to scream all at once, some pleading Natsu's defense, and others wishing for his absolute destruction for making me doubt myself. Two very prominent voices rose to the surface of my thoughts and took root next to both of my ears whispering to me as my other thoughts continued in their swirling maelstrom.

The one on my left whispered that I had fallen out of Love with Natsu at some point. Maybe it was before I even asked to be more than friends, I really couldn't tell. The lines between genuine feeling and denial were blurring a lot of my emotional boundaries. The other voice pointed out my reaction to Rogue, insisting that he appealed to a more carnal nature that I wasn't aware existed inside of me. I couldn't fight that, I had already admitted to myself that I was attracted to him, so it was logical.

Somewhere over the week he had also become a close friend to me, a part of me had forced that issue no matter how terrified I had once been. The simple act of calming my night terrors made me trust him implicitly. I knew without a doubt that he would never, ever hurt me. I wanted to stay near him, to watch what he would do next. I wanted to study his expressions, no matter how guarded they were. Oh my stars did I want to have the inferno reignited from the smoldering coals that were still burning in the lower regions of my soul. I wanted to feel it from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair.

"What are you doing?" I hadn't realized that I had slowed down or that I was shaking until Yukino spoke. I coughed awkwardly, trying to reign in my growing blush.

"I'm focusing, you know, so that I don't fall." I shifted, stumbling on purpose to prove my point; she didn't need to know that I was fantasizing about a certain someone who could absolutely hear us from this distance. "I'm not coordinated enough for this." She burst out laughing. "Seriously, how the hell are you not falling flat on your face? It's taking every ounce of concentration I have just to walk in a straight line!"

Yukino was practically doubled over in a fit of giggles, and Sting was laughing openly as well. I steeled my nerve to take a look over my shoulder, and was pleased to find Rogue directing a soft smile at me. My heart fluttered at the amusement lighting up his eyes again. I realized at that point that I could see clearer than I should have been able, and I found myself searching for the reason.

When I found the source my mind went blank before I started laughing with the others; Sting was lit up like a Christmas tree, casting a glow that Yukino and I were at the edge of. I covered my mouth, muffling the sound of my uncontrollable laughter, even if I could have passed it off as laughing at my own struggles. I bite back any form of insult that was coming to my mind, willing my mouth to stay shut. It was getting harder by the second to keep from shout out 'Thanks for the light, glow worm.'

"I wish I could have given you a pair of my training shoes, but we aren't the same size." Yukino finally had her laughter under control, and the two of us went back to our original pace. She was gliding along like she hadn't drank her fill just a few hours prior and I found myself wanting to strangle her for looking so poised while i looked like a troll wear scuba gear.

"Shame on you for having small feet." I wagged a finger at her playfully.

"I'm only a half size smaller than you!" She faked indignation, pulling her arm away from mine, before storming on ahead. She threw a careful glance that was directed at Sting before she vanished into the darkness beyond the circle of light. A moment later Sting was rushing past, calling for the light haired woman to wait up.

I took a sharp breath, realizing what she had just done, and cursed under my breath as a shiver ran through me, another gust of wind whipping my hair around my face. The little devil voice whispered that I was finally alone with Rogue, while the other told me to catch up, as quickly as I could.

I was about to start walking faster following the good advice when I felt a warm arm wrap around my waist. I was torn between screaming and melting into a puddle as his scent wrapped around me again. The switch in my brain promptly flipped to the auto pilot mode, allowing silence to make the air thick with tension.

We walked like that for a long time, with nothing but the howl of the wind and my own frantic heart beat to listen to. A little bit of my rational mind was waking from it's slumber, the longer the silence prevailed, giving me back some form of coherence. I hated how awkward it felt now, even if my body was telling me I was right where I needed to be.

_What am I supposed to say to him? I've never been so lost for words before.  
><em>

My eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness, and I found myself watching out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't just calm, he was practically serene. There was a soft smile that anyone who wasn't practiced at studying his features might have missed. That thought struck me as odd, when had I become such an expert at gauging his expressions?

"I'm sorry." _The hell am I apologizing for? Damn it, Lucy, get it together!_

"What for?" He stopped moving, his eyes focused on me, causing a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold raced through me. I just stared at the ground, shoulders tense as I tried to come up with an answer, any answer at all.

"I." I couldn't look at him, I had no idea what I was even trying to say. "I just seem to cause nothing but trouble for you."

"Is that all?" His laugh startled me, causing me to look at him.

"Y-yes." The smile that came to his face at my response made my knees buckle. My heart was hammering in my chest even faster as he leaned down closer to me. My mind was no longer able to process what was going on, and I was holding my breath just watching as he inched closer. The voice on my left promptly fainted, when the one on my right howled with excited laughter.

"Are you sure that's the only thing you want to apologize for?" The tone of his voice was deep and husky, the way Levy's romance novels always described the handsome male lead during the more heated scenes. Realization dawned, and my eyes grew wider. My surprise didn't stop him; his hand come up to brush the line of my chin, pushing my face up so he could see my reactions more clearly.

"Princess, big brother lost Aries, and is on his way." I instinctively jumped away from Rogue, nearly falling when Virgo popped out of no where. "I've brought you a pair of sneakers so that you can out run him. And a coat, because you look cold." She handed them over, her gaze lingering on Rogue for a little longer than it should have, then she wished me luck before vanishing again.

"LLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" I counted to five on my fingers and there he was, panting heavily as if he ran the whole way. He skidded to a stop a foot from me, pulling himself to his full height while adjusting his glasses and straightening his tie. "Why did you leave my key behind?" His mouth pulled into a thin line as his eyes took in the details of the situation before him.

"I'm a total space case! Why didn't I think to ask Virgo for normal boots earlier?" Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to ignore the over protective spirit who was standing in front of me, but I knew that vocalizing anything would get me into more trouble. I pulled on the heavy jacket, and made quick work of swapping my shoes, instantly feeling better about the situation. When I looked back up, Loki was baring down on me with the most serious expression I could imagine.

"How many times do we need to go over this?" He growled at me.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." I darted around him, finally able to move properly over the rugged terrain. "That's much better."

"Lucy, pay attention dammit!" Loki was short on patience to start with; if I pushed much harder, he would most definitely explode into a shower of sparkles, it was a tad bit sadistic, but I kind of wanted to see it happen. "If you leave my key behind I can't get to you if you're in trouble!"

"I'm not in trouble, so you have nothing to worry about it!" I sang as I darted forward again, laughing at how much easier it was.

"Lucy take this seriously!" He was jogging to catch up to me now. "I don't want you getting hurt over something as silly as not having my key with you!"

"I'm going to have fun and you can't stop me!" I stuck my tongue out over my shoulder. "I'm not in any sort of danger, so go home." I heard Rogue laughing as he followed us at a much slower pace.

My mind started racing again, analyzing what was about to happen with Rogue before Virgo popped up. I felt my face flush and I lost my balance for a moment. It was all Loki needed to catch up to me, and I knew I was in for a lecture again. It didn't come, instead Loki took over as my lantern, sighing as he beckoned me forward. I gave him a shy smile and walked to his side.

"Even if it's just a date, you should still take my key with you." He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Shock ran through me, and I stuttered, trying to form words to deny that I was on a date. They wouldn't come, no matter how hard I tried to make them. I ended up just smacking my friend upside the head, and marching forward.

It only took five more minutes to get to the courtyard, and I let out a sigh of relief that I was almost back to Yukino's apartment. The thought of collapsing on her couch made me insanely happy. So I started walking faster up the path that led to her street, letting my imagination play the scene of falling into the couch and wrapping myself in a warm blanket. I faintly realized that Loki was no longer with me; he had slowed down to talk to Rogue and for some reason that made me uneasy.

"Uh, I think maybe you should come with me for a little while longer." I twisted to see Rogue laughing, and Loki snickering as well. We were only three doors away now, and I just wanted to collapse.

"But, I'm tired and hungry." I knew it came out as a whine, but I didn't care; the couch was calling my name and I wanted to give it the biggest hug ever.

"Trust me on this one, you'll thank me later." I raised an eyebrow; I was at the door already and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was reaching for the door knob when I heard the reason he had suggested going, and I ran right back to him. "It's good to see that they've finally worked it out."

"Right, I can handle another hour." I felt the heat radiating off of my face as I walked past the two men who looked extremely amused. "Go home already, stupid playboy!" I was tempted to throw one of my boots at the spirit who was now openly laughing at me.

"Make me! Wait a minute, you can't, because I have this!" Loki held up his key flashing me a smile that was playful and dangerous at the same time. I rushed at him, intent on getting the key out of his hand, and he dodged me easily. "Oh, **now** you want it, huh?"

"Get back here you jerk!" He was laughing and darting around the courtyard, and I was hot on his coat tails. Three trips around the open space, and I finally caught up and jumped to tackle him.

"I'll leave her to you then." I realized what he was doing a moment too late as his key landed in Rogue's hands. I couldn't stop at that point, and I braced myself for impact as I went through the cloud of sparkling stars where Loki had been a moment before. I barreled full force into Rogue, knocking him right off his feet. I closed my eyes as we fell to the ground, groaning when the air was knocked out of my lungs. I heard a hiss of pain a little too close to my ear, and my eyes snapped open.

Panic was setting in, my whole face burning the brightest shade of red I could imagine. My legs were spread, with one knee on the ground on opposite sides of Rogue's torso. My hands on the ground on either sides of his shoulders. I could feel his shaking breaths fanning out across my forehead, stirring my bangs around my face. The little devil was daring me to move, to finish what I had started at the club, while the smaller voice told me to hold perfectly still.

I'd been in this particular position thousands of times over the years (with my apparent love of being thrown at my teammates from buildings and all) and I'd never felt so bashful about it. I was frozen in place, just watching Rogue's chest rise and fall, actively fighting against myself. The last thing I wanted was to make the mistake I'd made with Natsu all over again. My heart was racing as the storm inside me started to overrule my logic again, I was starting to lose the fight.

"You're still hungry right?" I refused to shift my focus from the buttons on his shirt, so I gave a small nod. "Good, let's head over to the guild, I want to get Frosh before Orga decides he's not going to give him back again."

I shifted carefully, getting myself into a standing position before offering a hand to help Rogue to his feet, trying my best to look calm all the while. I watched from the corner of my eye as he dusted himself off then he grabbed my wrist and dragged me along (my boots laying forgotten in the street) towards the guild.

My nerves were on high alert now, because I really didn't want to make a mistake that would mess this up; I was in new territory, and I didn't want to rush things.

_It's best to move nice and slow, let the whole idea of it sink in. I need to learn to control myself or I'm going to end up doing something stupid. Get to know him better at a safe distance, then you can think about those other things, Lucy. _

It didn't take long to arrive in the main hall again, and I was amused to see that Rufus and Orga were in practically the same positions we had left them in. The only difference was that Rufus had his nose in a book, and Orga was playing a guessing game with the two Exceeds. I only realized that Rogue was still holding my wrist when he let it go, crossing the room to gather his little green friend in a hug.

Frosh was truly the cutest thing I had ever seen as he jumped excitedly into Rogue's waiting arms chattering about the fun he and Lector had been having while we were out. I smiled at the way the dark haired man patted Frosh on the head and started talking to him in hushed tones.

"Ah, Miss. Lucy come here please." I turned my attention to Rufus and walked across the room. I made it half way before a blue blur knocked me to the ground. I hissed in pain as my back side hit the stone floor.

"LLLLLLLUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYYYYY." The wail nearly broke my heart as the blue ball of fur burrowed into my chest. I looked up at Rufus for an explanation, and he smiled softly.

"He arrived about half an hour after you left." I let my focus drift back to the cat who was soaking the front of my shirt with his tears.

"Why are you here, Happy?" I patted his head softly and slowly, hoping to calm his sobs a bit.

"Mira said you went on a job by yourself." Happy did his best to put on a brave face. "I don't care what Natsu says, you are still my partner and I won't let you go alone!" I felt my heart shatter at his words, but he wasn't done. "I never wanted to leave you behind in the first place, I told Natsu he was being stupid, but he wouldn't listen. I'm so sorry Lucy!"

"I know Happy, it's ok now. It wasn't your fault." I dragged myself off the floor before walking the rest of the way to the table and set him down next to a stack of books. "You don't need to say anything else."

"It's not ok, Natsu and I are supposed to protect you! We promised we'd never let anything bad happen to our Lucy ever again!" Fat tears matted the fur on his cheeks as he stared up at me. "How are we supposed to protect you when we aren't there?"

I felt tears of my own pooling behind my eyes; I gathered him up in my arms again, and sank into a chair. My shoulders were shaking from the effort of holding back the flood of emotions, but I knew if I started to cry now I might not be able to stop.

"Thank you, Happy." I kept my voice low and calm, squeezing him tightly. "You don't need to worry anymore, everything is going to be ok." Happy pulled away at this point and grabbed the wrist that had been injured by the pyromaniac we both called our best friend. His expression turned to one of absolute anger as he inspected the mark.

"Lily said that Natsu hurt you, but I didn't believe him." He looked up at me, his eyes filled with pain. "I should have been there instead of at Carla's."

"You spent a month away from her, something little like this isn't nearly as bad as that must have felt." That got a small laugh out of the little blue exceed. "You should go back in the morning, I'm sure Natsu will be wondering where you went."

"No, he won't. He was too busy running off to burn some fancy pants rich guy to a crisp." My eyes went wide as I put him back on the table; I hoped that it wasn't who I thought it was.

"Why the hell would he do that?"

"Freed was explaining to Cana about the enchantment that you broke, and how there was no way that a summoning spell was laced in anywhere in the recreation you made for him. He told Cana that the beast was already in the cave when you broke the barrier. Cana was screaming about how the low life had meant for the two of you to be hurt, that he probably never intended for either of you two to make it back alive. Natsu and Gajeel were out the door as soon as she said that."

"I understand Natsu going, but why Gajeel?" I crossed my arms over my chest, rage boiling under the surface.

"He said something like 'No one tries to kill my blonde bunny girl and gets away with it.' Levy told him to punch the guy in the face for her as well." The cat mirrored my position, arms folded over his chest as a wicked grin spread across his furry face. "I think he doesn't like it when people try to hurt his pet."

"I'm not a pet you damn cat." I hissed.

"It's ok Lucy, we all know that Gajeel has a soft spot for his favorite torture victim." He jumped just as I was about to grabs his cheeks. "After all he doesn't **make** anyone else dance around in a bunny suit."

"Can it, you stupid cat!" I jumped up and just missed him. "Come back here so I can punish you properly for saying weird things!"

To my amusement he let out a series of laughs that were deep and heartfelt before rushing back into my arms.

"I've missed you, Lucy."

"I missed you too, Happy."

We settled into a comfortable silence, enjoying the warmth of one another until a cough made me look up to see Rufus with an other soft smile playing on his lips. He casually pointed in Rogue's direction, and my eyes shifted to see what he wanted to show me. I bit my lip to keep myself from saying anything as he visibly fought against the swirl of shadows that was circling his feet. I took a deep breath and directed my comment at Happy instead.

"Gajeel will absolutely give that guy the beating of a life time."

"If there is anything left when Natsu gets finished with him. That poor bastard signed his death certificate to moment Natsu saw how beat up you were." Happy puffed his chest out with pride. "We both knew it would be bad..." Happy trailed off.

"It's ok Happy, you can tell me." I leaned back in the chair, letting him settle into a more comfortable position.

"We were two towns over when Natsu said he smelled you, more specifically your blood. At first he didn't want to follow it; he said he wasn't sure he could handle seeing you like that. I refused to take no for an answer though. It was already night by the time we caught up to you, and he said you were with Cana and Yukino. He wouldn't go inside; he just stood there next to the open window." His voice was quiet as he continued. "He was listening to your conversation for a while, then he just started walking towards home; he wouldn't talk to me at all after that."

"He must have left when you and the brat went outside." Rogue had his gaze fixed on me, the anger burning behind his eyes the same as the night I had first told him about the situation with Natsu. "I smelled him but I didn't want to say anything that would upset you worse than you already were."

"I guess he heard a few things that he didn't like then." I wasn't sure why, but I actually felt a sense of satisfaction at the thought that Natsu most likely heard Cana proclaim that Natsu had intended on bedding me before he ended the facade. It meant that he couldn't deny what everyone else saw, that we all thought that it was heading in that direction. "I'm sure Cana's words left a bitter taste in his mouth."

Rogue seemed to have won his little battle over his rising temper, and slipped into the seat next to me.

"What were you talking about? I still don't understand any of this! One day everything was fine and then all of the sudden he refused to go near you. What happened Lucy?" I couldn't deny my friend the explanation he needed.

"I made a miscalculation, Happy." I patted his head, keeping my voice calm and even. "I acted on an impulse that I shouldn't have. Natsu got mad at me, because we can't be friends like we were anymore. None of that has anything to do with you though." I watched his eyes grow twice their normal size before he turned them on me.

"H-h-he turned you down didn't he?" Happy was perceptive for a cat. I nodded my head sadly, but gave him a smile to let him know I was alright now.

"Not in as many words but yes, and I'm not going to bother him anymore." I wasn't expecting him to grab my face between his paws, or the seriousness of his stare.

"That isn't right. Natsu loves you, he would never..." His voice cracked as I lost the battle against my own tears, and one leaked down my cheek.

"Of course he does, and he loves you and Lisanna and Erza and Gramps."

"You're different, you've always been different." Happy's voice was just above a whisper and he let his paws fall away from my face.

"That might be true, but it doesn't matter anymore." I gave him a rough hug, quieting the last of my sobs. "He lost his faith in me, and I can't trust someone who doesn't believe in me." I felt a hand pat my head, and I began to relax at the familiar hum of my body as it responded to the innocent touch. I gave Rogue a smile to let him know I was ok, and to thank him for the comfort.

"I guess that explains why everyone has been so angry with Natsu for the past couple of days." Happy pulled away and sat himself back on the table, sniffling as his tears settled as well. "I was asked to give this to you." He pulled his green bag off his shoulders and pulled out a fish then a letter and a lycrima to hand over to me.

I broke the seal and read it quickly, and couldn't help but laugh.

_Lucy, _

_It has come to the guilds attention that you and Cana were lured into a trap. Natsu and Gajeel went to handle the villain who hurt the two of you, with Master and my blessing. I myself would have gone, but we have preparations for the Guild Masters ceremony that takes place tomorrow evening. Since you aren't in the Guild at present I will tell you the good news before the final announcement has been made. Master Makarov is retiring at long last, and tomorrow at the celebration Laxus will be taking on the mantle of our new Master. Remember that you are still ordered to have fun, and relax on your vacation, and I am truly sorry for interrupting it to begin with. We'll talk more when you come home._

_Sincerely,_

_ Erza Scarlet_

"Way to go, old man." I laughed to myself, noticing that Rogue was reading over my shoulder.

"I guess Rufus will need to go along to keep Sting in line." He was laughing as well. "Our fearless leader gets handsy when he's drunk."

"No can do, I have a job in Hargeon that I will be leaving for in the morning and won't be back for a least a day." Rufus winked at Rogue in a suggestive way.

"Orga can go then." He turned to the green haired man who shook his head.

"I've got newbie duty."

"Dammit, that means I have to go." Rogue grumbled.

"Miss. Lucy would you mind going in my stead? You and Yukino could handle our Master without a problem, I'm sure." I watched as his eyes shifted from Rogue to me and then back again, he was playing a game now, and I was feeling the urge to play along.

"I've been ordered to enjoy myself, and this sounds like fun. I'll go." I gave Rufus one of my brightest smiles.

"So, you're just here to hang out and be lazy?" Happy tilted his head, a smile of his own working it's way onto his mouth. I could feel the vein pulse in my temple as I kept myself from strangling him.

"I'm **relaxing** and enjoying my little vacation." I corrected.

"You should be careful." I knew something was coming when he started to snicker. "Being lazy leads to getting fat." I decided I was going to let that one go for now.

"Haha, you're so funny." He pouted when he didn't get the reaction he had been expecting, but it was replaced with an evil grin soon after.

"Mira says you have a BIG photo shoot next week... maybe you should lay off of the fatty meat for a while, you don't want Jenny to make fun of you again." I ground my teeth, willing myself to stay quiet. "Come on Lucy, your supposed to get mad at me!" **  
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"I'm too tired to worry about your insults right now." I leaned across the table for added effect, but I hadn't intended for my stomach to growl. I flushed when I heard laughter around me. "I haven't eaten since this morning." I heard the defeat in my own voice, and heard shuffling. I refused to look away from the cool wood, knowing that I was a tomato, again.

Happy was patting my head, still laughing at me when the smell of something warm and edible was placed next to me.

_Food!_

I tried my best to eat with dignity, but I barely tasted what it was as it slide down my throat. I finished in a matter of minutes, and let out a heavy sigh, shrugging off my heavy jacket since I was starting to feel over heated. I leaned back in the chair using the bunched up fabric as a pillow.

"Speaking of our fearless leader?" I hear Rufus question.

"It seems like he and the brat are back on again. I wish those two would just make up their minds, it's annoying when they spit up."

_Why didn't I put that together earlier? _

"Agreed, it is rather bothersome, but at least now we know that a quick call to our favorite Fairy makes everything better." I could feel the smirk on Rufus's face.

"We're lucky Magnolia is so close by or we'd need to make a permanent room for her here." That was an interesting suggestion from Orga.

"We could always have that arranged you know." Rufus liked that idea a little too much.

"If she wants it then I say go ahead." Rogue wasn't opposed to the idea, that was encouraging.

"Lucy doesn't need it, she has a perfectly nice apartment that only costs her seventy thousand jewel a month." I had to fight the smirk as Happy interjected.

"They mean for when the Fairy visits so she doesn't have to go back in the dark, you dumb cat." That was absolutely Lector, he still seemed to have an attitude problem.

"I for one wouldn't mind having such an interesting woman around more often."

"Am I really that interesting, Rufus?" I decided it was as good a place as any to break into a conversation that involved my person.

"Exceptionally. It's rare to find a Celestial Mage these days, but one who is powerful enough to use magic the way you do is even more so." I leaned my elbows on the table.

"And what way do I use my magic?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You have ten of the Zodiac keys. The last collaborative mission we all handled together you summoned not just two of them at a time, but three different combinations of them back to back. Not to mention Hibiki Lates glows with pride every time he mentions that you managed to master the spell we saw at the last games. It is also rumored that you are one of the first to preform a unison raid, something that is not an easy feat to accomplish." He took a moment to study my face, and when satisfied he continued. "I have been curious for a while now, why is it that a Blue Pegasus mage is so proud of you?"

I took my time, because I honestly didn't know how much of my involvement in any of the events of my first five months in Fairy Tail were public knowledge.

"We had a really rough fight when the Legal Guild Alliance went up against the Oración Seis. When he found out that the woman named Angel was responsible for killing Karen Lilica, he started to let the darkness take him over. Natsu was out of commission, and I was taking another beating when he managed to use his archive to loan me the spell I needed to defeat her. It saved both our asses in the end. As for the unison raid, the events at the tower of heaven weren't something that other people were supposed to be aware of."

"They are not public knowledge, but I make it a point to know my allies just as thoroughly as my enemies; I have various means with which I gather my information. I find you fascinating, even if you were a new member to Fairy Tail at the time, you played a hand in some of the most note worthy events that led to the incident on Tenrojima."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or scared that you find me worthy of studying." I was feeling brave in the moment and decided I wanted to hear more. "What else do you know about me?"

"Everything." He gave me a playful smile, and I urged him to continue. "It would take me days to divulge every piece I've gathered."

"There are things that you couldn't possibly know, because only those involved were privy to the information. Things we've done that were off the council's radar." I was pressing, hoping he would jump at the chance.

"Such as?" He leaned in, curiosity dancing across his expression.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" It was satisfying to see the spark of a challenge light his eyes. I decided that I'd leave it there and moved to get up. "I need sleep, I'll be heading back now." I couldn't fight off a yawn as I got to my feet.

"I doubt you'll want to do that." Rufus was laughing.

"You wouldn't be able to sleep if you went back." Rogue added helpfully, and I felt myself blush from my toes to the tops of my ears.

"Lushy, what are they talking about?" Happy was looking up at me with innocent eyes, but I could see the evil grin that he was fighting. I went two shades darker as I ignored his question.

"I've lost a place to sleep, again. Why does this keep happening to me?" I sighed letting my head lean forward onto the table again.

"I guess you'll just have to come with us then." I watched with wide eyes as he offered a hand. "It's only fair since I stayed at your place last time."


End file.
